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5 Year Old Wakes Up Every Night Unless Mom or Dad Sleeps With Him

by Sara

My 5 year old son will not fall asleep by himself or stay asleep by himself, unless one of his parents sleeps with him. He wakes up rather quickly, at all hours of the night, as soon as we leave him alone.

I have given him Dr. Ozzzzz melatonin/chammollie supplement for 5 nights now. He is sleepy 1 hour after taking it, but still will not stay asleep through the night.

Before giving him the melatonin, he had a difficult time just settling down for bed at the end of the night, which led me to think he is overtired. We explored ADHD because he seems to exhibit hyperactivity and an inability to focus. But, with recent help from a psych, I am hesitant to think ADHD is really a factor....he CAN focus when he wants to.

He often times sleeps very restlessly....waking up crying and sweaty. Like a night terror perhaps. Other times he sleeps more sound, but nonetheless, wakes up almost every night looking for someone to sleep with him.

Should we keep sleeping with him? Should we tow the line and just sit by his bedside until he falls asleep on his own (even though it can take an hour for him to fall asleep)?

I often find mysef sleeping the whole night in his bed just so we can all get a good nights sleep. My husband and I are having marital problems...I wonder if my son is stressed out?
How can I help him start sleeping by himself again...all night long?

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Aug 15, 2014
Curious to know if you've resolved this issue. NEW
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem w my 4yr old son. Looking for advice as well.

Aug 26, 2014
My 6 1/2 year old wakes every night; multiple times and has for years NEW
by: Anonymous

Since birth, I can count on one hand how many times she has slept the night. She is always tired and it's because on average she will wake up 2 times a night, usually starting after sleeping for a few hours. Lately midnight and 4 am have been the specific times. She used to sleep with me and still had the issue and now I have her in her own room, where I put her down when she falls asleep I go to my room and in the middle of the night, there she is poking me to wake up. Does anyone have any suggestions? I've tried the Melatonin, doesn't work. She gets enough exercise during her day and is engaged with school and has playtime at home with friends. She's very routine with her schedule so bedtime is the same time every night. Could use some alternate suggestions. I'm TIRED.

Aug 28, 2014
I am so thankful I'm not alone! NEW
by: Anonymous

I am about ready to freak out I'm so tired. My 5 year old does the exact same thing. Healthy active during the day will not sleep at all at night! Any information would be helpful. I've also tried the melatonin gig with an initial fall asleep but after about an hour its anything goes. I've also tried oils which work very effectively on everyone else but her. I will be trying herbs next, but still welcome any suggestions!

Aug 31, 2014
My 7 year old still doesn't sleep. NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm in his room now as I'm typing this! Got in bed at 8:30 didn't fall asleep until 9:25, with me laying with him. Was up again at 10:37, laid with him again, he was up 5 minutes after I left the room. Sat up in his bed for an hour because I wouldn't sit with him. Now I've been in here at least an hour and if I move to him get off the bed, he wakes up! So frustrating. Really need some suggestions. I can't leave him in his room awake/crying every night. He won't be able to function at school.

Aug 31, 2014
Comments on my post 8.26.14 NEW
by: Anonymous

It seems that I'm not alone in this case with sleep depravation. I was readying several sites, including some tips on this one and I've told my daughter it every night for the last week. She needs to "learn" to sleep the night. I still go in every night, lay with her until she falls asleep, then when she wakes, and she always does, she comes into my room and wakes me up because she says she's scared. I'm just reassuring her that she is in her own room and home and there's nothing to frighten her. I even re-arranged her room yesterday so she has the clock right next to her and she can see if it's not 7:00am that she should be sleeping. I now have two bright night lights in her room, leave the hall bathroom light on all night. Just in this short week we went from waking me twice a night to once. Maybe I'm onto something, who knows...I'm sounding like a broken record to her and myself but I just keep repeating she needs to learn to sleep the night. The two times she only woke once I asked her the next day how she felt by getting a better nights sleep and if she could feel the difference. She said, yes. She stated she didn't feel as tired as she normally does. I'm sure I have a long road ahead as it's been years...but I'm hopeful from two wakes during the night to only one for two days in a row. I will let you know how it goes. For those of you in my shoes too...thank goodness for patients and eye makeup to cover our dark circles because I have them.

Sep 17, 2014
help! NEW
by: erin

Omg! I am so happy to see I am not the only one my 6 year old will not sleep unless I sit on the floor and watch her within 5mins of me leaving the room shes awake she will lay there for hours shouting can I go in your bed she cries so hard it can get to 11 and shes still awake. I am drained shes shattered for school I have tried everything docs wont help me. They suggested counselling for anxiety for her but then refused. Shes perfect at schopl so adhd doesnt worry me. Her brain does not shut down and this is not healthy. A child should have 10hours sleep a night broken sleep is so bad. Why wont she stay aslep why does she wake its like she has an alarm clock in her head on snooze!! Any suggestions or advice because im losing my mind. No time to unwind or have time to myself I feel like ive gone mental!

Oct 07, 2014
worried for my son who wakes up every night NEW
by: Anonymous

Was so worried for my DS. Happy to know there are people who are sailing in the same boat. Am at my wits end, just can't get him to sleep thru the night. He is up every night as if his body alarm rings.Sleeps for Max 5 hrs every night n does not take a nap during the day.his behaviour is impacted n so has his attention n focus skills. I m really worried for him n for myself. Gone without proper sleep for the last 4 yrs n am constantly tired n irritated. Can't take it anymore.

Oct 07, 2014
me too! NEW
by: erin

It is draining isnt it my daughter has woke at 3am past two nights for 2 hours. I give up doctors wont help me. I am so tired for work shes tired at school

Oct 22, 2014
I feel your pain... NEW
by: Anonymous

My 5 year old daughter has not slept properly in the night for about 2 years now. From 6 weeks she slept like a dream then one day it's like one day she decided that she didn't want to anymore. She goes to sleep fine on her own wevdo the normal bath, read bedtime routine which has been the same since I can remember, she now wakes majority of nights and lands in our bed! Sometimes without us even knowing, most nights when we hear her come we simply turn her round & take her back to bed which is then where she won't sleep on her own. Me & my husband take this in turns as I'm currently expecting our 3 child so we are both exhausted as working full time with sleepless nights is pretty much taking it toll. She has music in her room, fairy lights you name it. We leave the bathroom light on etc etc the list goes on!! I'm tired & just for her I want her to get a decent nights sleep especially as shes St school. Nothing worse than having black panda eyes :(. Shes a bright kid I'm just out of answers on what to do.... Hope you all get sorted soon :)

Oct 22, 2014
8yr old not sleeping NEW
by: Jessica

I have a 8 yr old daughter that just starting this routine of not sleeping through the night .This started about a month ago ,she used to occasionally get up and cry and walk to our room dazed I'd put her back to bed and she would sleep the rest of the night .As of a month ago it's turned into her needing us to lay with her all night . I have always done the routine for getting ready for bed and read a book and tucking in with cuddles. This is out of no where and now causing me and my husband to fight and now we are sick with the flu because of lack of sleep .I took her to her doctor after trying no media,no sugar ,melotonin which she would stay up on ?
He prescribed her the next notch up a sleep aide ,sleeping pill for her very low dose and still she stays up???
I keep her from school now because she looks like she hasn't slept and I'm afraid she will act out in school .
I'm afraid her hair is going to turn gray and she's turning into exorcist .. HELP !!!
Please tell me this a weird faze !
I have 4 children in total and have never in my life experienced anything like this :(

Oct 22, 2014
8yr old not sleeping NEW
by: Jessica

I have a 8 yr old daughter that just starting this routine of not sleeping through the night .This started about a month ago ,she used to occasionally get up and cry and walk to our room dazed I'd put her back to bed and she would sleep the rest of the night .As of a month ago it's turned into her needing us to lay with her all night . I have always done the routine for getting ready for bed and read a book and tucking in with cuddles. This is out of no where and now causing me and my husband to fight and now we are sick with the flu because of lack of sleep .I took her to her doctor after trying no media,no sugar ,melotonin which she would stay up on ?
He prescribed her the next notch up a sleep aide ,sleeping pill for her very low dose and still she stays up???
I keep her from school now because she looks like she hasn't slept and I'm afraid she will act out in school .
I'm afraid her hair is going to turn gray and she's turning into exorcist .. HELP !!!
Please tell me this a weird faze !
I have 4 children in total and have never in my life experienced anything like this :(

Nov 16, 2014
12 year old daughter waking up shaking NEW
by: Anonymous

My 12 year old daughter has on 2 occasions woke up saying she doesn't feel we'll then has started to shake, both episodes have lasted 30-40 minutes, she is currently seeing a counsellor for CBT due to a sleep and sick phobia, she takes melatonin on a night to help her sleep, I took her to hospital after the first episode as I thought she was fitting, however blood tests and observation did not identify a cause, it is really worrying, any help or reassurance would be much appreciated

Dec 25, 2014
4 year old attached to mama NEW
by: Anonymous

My 4 year old almost 5 yearold won't sleep all night. I have to read him a story and lay with him. It can only be me. He does not let daddy or anyone put him to bed. I am laying in his bedroom right now. We have went to the doctor and got him tested. Nothing wrong. I am so sleepy all the time. I would try the cry it out method even though i don't prefer it. I can't I also have a 3 year old. I don't want her to woken up. I don't know what else to do. I can't keep going like this.

Dec 31, 2014
Wimpy Parents Send Signals NEW
by: Anonymous

Sounds like there are a lot of parents posting who aren't willing to tell their kid "enough is enough" and that they are not permitted to interfere with your sleep unless it is a true emergency.

Until you do, expect to be sleep deprived, suffer ill health effects from it, endanger your children from driving them while overtired, and likely having bad job performance to boot. By the way, if you crash into me due to being overtired and operating a car, I will take all of your assets because it is a bogus excuse. And if I am your employer,
expect to have to work nights and weekends (with no chance of promotion) just to keep up because your being overtired makes you a lousy performer.

Seems to me like maybe standing up to your kid and setting a healthy boundary around their nighttime behavor might be an easier route. But then again, the little angel might cry.

Jan 02, 2015
re: wimpy parents NEW
by: Anonymous

Your an a$$hole.
Bet you have perfect sleepers and you can do no wrong. You are the perfect parent with perfect children. Or better yet, you don't have a child.

Do you believe that beating your child when they cry will stop them from crying too?

Jan 02, 2015
re: wimpy parents NEW
by: Anonymous

Your an a$$hole.
Bet you have perfect sleepers and you can do no wrong. You are the perfect parent with perfect children. Or better yet, you don't have a child.

Do you believe that beating your child when they cry will stop them from crying too?

Jan 29, 2015
re: Wimpy Parents NEW
by: Anonymous

Wait, is this my boss on here? Because remember how I worked my tired tail off and you got canned for being a buttwipe & I got your job?
Hey that's karma for picking on tired freaked-out parents.

My son (6) has had sleep anxiety at bed time on and off... like a dude suggests here: (post from 10/21/14)

the worst things I tried were being angry and disciplining. The best things I've done were set a solid routine for bedtime, try to teach him relaxation techniques, put a couple of nightlights in, play a cd of sleepytime music, and very slowly wean my presence.. check in every few minutes & go wash dishes until he's asleep.

Sometimes something is bothering him, he is sensitive to scary shows too. Sometimes he can tell me what's up when he thinks about it, sometimes he can't. But all these things are phases & will pass with time

Feb 04, 2015
My 8 year old is terrible ! NEW
by: Anonymous

As per everyone else, my 8 yr old is active happy does well at school doesn't get tired in the day, and goes to bed every night perfectly..........then around 4 hours after going to bed boom ! She is up wants me to stay with her, so I do the kiss on head sit on end of bed for five mixtures then go.....nope she is up and down for at least two hours unless I lie with her. !!! Is this a sleep disorder or just needs to learn new sleep patterns! I have tried everything but as you guys know after 4 nights of being consistent, I cave in as she has school and I work full time and have three other children !
Thanks you for listen, I'll keep searching for an answer.....

May 04, 2015
is it right? NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry to ask this to you all
Hi I don't know how to ask this is it right for a 5 year to sleep with his mom and the step dad has to sleep on the coutch 3 to 5 days a week
IVe tryed talking to her and she dose not care what should I do and how thank you

May 09, 2015
Same with my 4 year old NEW
by: Anonymous

I have always had the same troubles withy 4 year old. It's like she refuses to sleep and clings to me. I am separated and since my daughter is very close to me I thought it was more about separation anxiety. In the beginning of I "ignored" her persistence she would be up all night after I fell asleep. I give her melatonin which helps but she refuses to take a nap even though I know she is sleep deprived because she will keep herself awake doing anything even just moving her body which leads to her getting defiant and me frustrated. I also have a 3 year old who does not have an of these problems. But with one of me and two of them this has become a situation I do not know how to handle. I used to just let them sleep with me and got a lot of negative feedback from lots of people. Now I stay in their room until she falls asleep but she begs me to stay all night and usually will wake up at some point and crawl in bed with me anyway. If I stay with her she sleeps through the night but I fear "creating bad habits"

Aug 14, 2015
Anything Worked Yet? NEW
by: Kirstin

So I've had the same problems with my son and since we decided he's 9 and I've developed my own health issues and insomnia I need to be in my own bed all night uninterrupted. My son started watching TV some nights which wasn't healthiest but at least I was sleeping. We tried bribing him with a reward and that's what started the TV thing. Then he was exposed to a scary video at a friends and things reverted. He seems to be over that but is worse than he has ever been in his whole life. He will not sleep without me and wakes if I leave. I had neck surgery and am not comfortable in his bed and can't stay there. My husband doesn't want him in our bed. My job is very demanding so I don't think I can do the tough it out method when I'm already hanging by a thread. Next step is going to be the doctor to see if something is making him wake. To the original post I do want to comment that kids with ADHD can focus on things the enjoy.. I too though want to investigate what role sleep is playing in his health as he's had a poor sleep history (night terrors, etc.).. Partly my fault from the cosleeping and him not learning to self soothe. So say I screwed up but not teaching him, so what do I do know?? I can tell he's scared at night too.. A phase I went through as a child but never woke my mom..

Aug 21, 2015
Be patient. It'll get better. NEW
by: Anonymous

My 7 year old had issues taking naps...I had to drive her around, stroller walk or rock her or it wasn't gonna happen. I don't know if it was due to a difficult birth or what. She's a confident, smart and social kid by day and an anxious one at night. No matter how early her bedtime started - it was two or three hours before she fell asleep. My son never had any sleep issues. It's worrying and frustrating. Some nights I'd lie with her ( for three hours) until she fell asleep... Exhausting!
I've added daily walks, cut sugar and minimized wheat, added more fruit and veg to her diet and given her a sleepy time tea or warm milk with honey and story each night. Each Monday - wed. I give her 0.5 mg of melatonin to assist and found all of this plus little light ( lights can inhibit the body's natural sleep hormones to be produced) except a flashlight next to her bed for security; has helped.
Be patient. And kind to yourself. Having kids can be tough!

Sep 09, 2015
5 yr old doesn't sleep NEW
by: Anonymous

we have a 5 yr old that wakes up every night at 3am,we try to not stay to long in her room but she freaks out when we leave and we can't have that caz we have a 8 week old boy that she will wake up then thats a whole other problem .. what to do ..

Sep 21, 2015
sleep problems NEW
by: joy

I need help my 5 year old daughter. Will not sleep, she has a schedule and is in bed by nine every night. Will fall asleep only for two or so hours and comes wake me up. So I go lay and bed with her and we.both fall asleep. She wakes up and desides to play. With her stuffed anamals until. She sleeps about a total of 4 hours a night. I get her ready for school and falls asleep in the car ride to school. I tried giving her melatonin. Its doesnt help at all. I need help, please anyone with any advice email me @ joy.picard2202@gmail
Thank you

Sep 25, 2015
5 year old won't sleep through the night NEW
by: Anonymous

Our son won't sleep thru the night. At times he seems like ADHD but others not. When his sleep at night gets worse so do his behaviors. He's a very picky eater so adding fruits and veggies is frustrating. He won't go to sleep by himself but I'm scared to try to force him because then he's getting even less sleep getting up and calling for us. We need some suggestions. I'm exhausted


Oct 20, 2015
I'm in the same boat NEW
by: Anonymous

I came here to search for some answers but instead I found so many other parents having the same problems. Hm, it does feel good knowing we're not alone in this, but it doesn't make us less tired ;)My almost 6 year old goes to bed around 8, we have the same routine every evening- brushing teeth, story, kisses and "goodnight, honey, see you tomorrow morning", but in fact we see eachother a lot sooner that 'tomorrow'. We see eachother 3 h later when he calls me, cause he's awake and fresh like he slept the whole night. And cause I asked him not to wake me up everytime he wakes up, he finds a 'reason' to wake me up, such as "mommy, I need to go to toilet". He knows i'd go with him, as he's afraid to go alone in the night. But he can do this 3 times a night- He would tell me 3 times that he needs to pee, he actually goes to pee. But this is almost like an excuse to have me there with him. After going to toilet, he goes back to his bed, asks to drink some water, then I'm free to go back to my bed..but in the meantime I'm totally awake and too nervous to fall asleep! We have discussions every morning, I tell him that if I don't get my sleep I'd turn into a monster mama. He agrees that this can be pretty bad, but change at all! I'm exhausted.

Oct 21, 2015
RE: I'm in the same boat NEW
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you need to avoid giving him water every time! Tell him that if he drinks water he'll want to go the bathroom and that's getting old. Instead give him some grapes which have a little juice and should satiate the thirst.

Nov 03, 2015
Our 5 year old is as confused as we are. NEW
by: Anonymous

Our 5 year old daughter is as confused and frustrated about her sleep patterns as we are. She now goes to bed fine, we no longer need to sit with her after her story, but she will routinely wake up around 12 and 3. We sometimes calmly ask her to try to sleep again, sometimes get into bed with her, sometimes allow her into ours, it all depends how busy the next day is for us as to whether we can take the fight or not.

She feels bad for waking us up but lonely lying there wide awake. That's when she starts imagining monsters, seeing shadows etc. She finds a million reasons for the behaviour just because we keep asking. The latest, last night, was that her room is too far away from ours.

We can see this through but we're tired and with a 1 year old little brother in the picture we're wondering how much of the next decade is going to be sleepless and what state we'll all be in by the end of it!

Nov 04, 2015
But are there any answer? NEW
by: Anonymous

There are no answers just coments aying the se problem. Please direct where the answer is...

Nov 11, 2015
Demented NEW
by: Anonymous

Good to hear others in same boats...but any answers!!!???

Nov 13, 2015
Answers please NEW
by: Anonymous

Is the answer: just a phase.... Please say it will be over soon...

Nov 17, 2015
Something to try NEW
by: Anonymous

My 7 year old daughter has been having issues going to sleep and staying asleep since she was a baby. She has trouble shutting her mind off so that she can relax and sleep. We tried a diffuser with marginal success. We don't let her have any electronics all week. She can play outside all day and still not sleep. She is a great student (was even tested for the excelled program in school). She is now having attitude issues and is very grumpy each morning.
A friend suggested we try a book and cd set called Remmy and the Brain Train. She said her son had the same issues and this was the only thing that helped. He had to listen to the cd every night, but by the age of 12, he was able to stop and sleep on his own. My husband and I are getting very frustrated. So, we are going to give this a try. Hope this helps someone.

Nov 23, 2015
10 year old wakes several times a night NEW
by: Anonymous

Our daughter is 10 years old and has been waking several times a night, every night for the past 5 years. We have a good routine in our house where the kids are to be in bed by 9pm at the latest, so lack of routine is not the problem. She insists on me going to bed with her every night and there are tears if I don't so I tend to avoid any of that and lay on her bed with her, we talk a bit and usually I tell her a story and she falls asleep. I then usually get woken about 11 or 12pm with her standing over my bed and poking me with her finger or shaking me awake. We then return to her room and I will lie down with her until she falls asleep again and then ofcourse I usually fall asleep as well and sometimes only wake up the following morning in her bed. If I manage to venture back to my own bed during the night I usually get woken up another one or two times during the course of the night. She mostly struggles to get up in the morning and that is a battle as well and usually leads to arguing and makes life unpleasant in the morning for everyone. My daughter does well at school and excels at sports so it is not through lack of exercise that she is perhaps not tired enough when she goes to bed. Strangely enough, I do find that if she happens to fall asleep in front of the television or in my bed then she seems to sleep better for that particular night. When I ask her why she can not just go to bed on her own or just go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night then she says it is because she feels scared in the night and does not like the darkness. She also has a night light and I leave the passage light on every night. We have tried medication a couple of times but I don't like to use medicine unless it is for an illness and you can not continue endlessly to pump your child with medication to get them to sleep. There must be another way.

Dec 28, 2015
My 6.5 year old hasn't sleep consistently since she was 4! NEW
by: CW

I stumbled upon this page while searching for reasons why my 6.5 year old is STILL up at night! She has never been a good sleeper but has gone through spurts of night waking since she turned four; we actually found a sleep consultant to help "train" her to sleep well but that didn't do much. She spent several months sleeping with her older sister or us in the spring and when we moved her back to her room in July (around the time she turned 6), she slept through the night like a charm so we thought it was a maturity thing and she was ready to go it alone! However, she started night waking again the week before Thanksgving (along with crying every day during her lunchtime, telling her teacher that "she missed her mommy") and we are still finding her at our bedside now six weeks later, with no end in sight.

I'm pretty convinced based on my online research that she has Separation Anxiety Disorder, which occurs in about 4-5% of young children. It is one way that children express anxiety, which runs through several generations on her dad's side. I just don't know how to break the cycle and help her! Any input would be GREATLY appreciated! We are all very tired and clearly this night waking is taking a toll on us all. :(

Jan 01, 2016
8yr old won't sleep in her own bed NEW
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 8 and last 3 months won't sleep in her own bed wants to sleep with me cries thinks some one going to get in house. If I do get her in bed very rare she then gets in mine an hour later or sits on floor at side of me so sad. She is under dietician as she won't stop eating putting weight on I think it's connected been taken of melatonin not working at my wits end feel so sorry for her she panics all time goes down stairs to check doors r locked etc any advice really appreciated

Jan 03, 2016
Help for us!? NEW
by: Anonymous

I am looking for answers almost 4 year old hasn't slept through the night but maybe 2 times in her life...she has trouble going to sleep for naps or bedtime. My son is 13 months older and she wakes him a lot as well. I am so very exhausted my husband went with me to the doctor for help with her sleep (both kids only let me go to them at night), fearing I would be help. They gave me a book and said to basically spank her during the day and she'd learn boundaries at night :/ I am at my wits end and of it weren't for their safety and worrying what they'd do, I'd lock myself in my room just to get sleep!!!! I would go to any class, send them to training, have someone help me in my home, whatever!!! Sometimes my mom keeps them so I can sleep :/ help!

Jan 04, 2016
Funny NEW
by: Br

It seems the only person with the correct answer happens to be a jerk but is dead on. Barring any physical problems,nightmare problems or serious emotional trauma the problem lies with you the parents. You just have to put up with a few nights of crying and daytime reinforcement. Give rewards for not bothering you when they wake in the night and for falling asleep on their own. Talk to them about starting this during the day not at bedtime. Be consistent and be in charge. Take back your life from your coddled child and they will be much better for it too.

Jan 19, 2016
This is how i succeeded NEW
by: michael

i had the same thing with both my 2 years old son and my 4.5 years old daughter. First i thought it was because i myseklf stay up all night sometimes due to me working some stuff at night, anyway. i went to a specialist and she had a chat with her a bit about almost everything she does and the why and not, in the end this is what the doctor told me,"Your kids are very hyperactive and first that is a very good sign, but it seems that such kids with extra hyper active brain need to have a programme where both the parents fall into, like..make sure your kids get enough activity during the day, and then make sure your kids avoide eating too much sugary stuff or junk food, because such things add to the whole stress, try and feed your kids a well programed daily meal cycle and try to keep it to a certain time, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. when your kids comes home, make sure they have their bath and teeth brush training if they are new to it, also, make sure to try and organise our times so that the parents are available with the kids throughout the afternoon till night time, ensure to not seperate yourself from the kids life by getting busy and leaving them play on their own.. ensuring you participate with your kids adds a more vital aproach to them which they need. Make sure to not allow your kids to watch any scary movies or anything that would gives them just nightmares, try to avoid such scenes, and make sure to have their rooms in a more subtle bright decorations with no freaky pics or anything that would contribute to the ill fact of making them not sleep, she told me also to invest in the kids room to make it more attractive for them to sleep in it like showing them new furniture that the kids would love to have and finally make sure to read for them something beautiful before they sleep, keep this for a while untill the kids get used for staying in their room, eventually it takes some time but you will win in the end.. I did purchase a new furniture for the kids and made them choose it by themselves, the gitls choose a nice girly castle bed with some tent underneath and the boy i got him cars bed with some make over stuff and toys.. a bit of investment yes but they loved being in the room and they stayed in it the whole night few nights they did come out by my side but then i took them back again, i even added some lava lamp and a ceiling decoration that looked like stars and galaxy rotating.. easily i got on ebay.. lol
this whole story took me about 3 weeks untill now they love their room and we love playing with them and i organised my working life and me and my wife even got more close.. so i guess this is how it worked for me.. if you like to take this advise i suggest you do it and i am sure it will work.. no need to medicine or stuff, th ekids are normal to be hyper, if your kid is not hyper active, then and only then you should start to worry... but i assure all of you, try and do some of what i did if not all would make their life a lot more interesting and make the family more close.. one more thing.. make sure yoiur kids never ever hear or witness any family feuds or behaviours, it will take effect on them immidiately... god bless all of you

Jan 29, 2016
It's not that hard NEW
by: Anonymous

Your kids keep waking you up because they can. It's a game they are playing. If you stop responding to them they will get bored and stop waking you up. As long as the attention is there they are going to keep asking for it! There is no reason for them to be waking you up. If they call out for you or come in your room tell them simply to go back to sleep. If you let your child be in charge they will be. Don't let them think if they cry it will get you to stay with them. It will cause problems in your relationships!

Jan 30, 2016
I found my answer to no sleep, well at least with one... NEW
by: Anonymous

My kids are younger than most of you on here are writing about, however, we discovered my 18 month old whom has never slept longer than 4 hours has momentary episodes of sleep apnea at 3 months of age and they think it's caused by reflux. He has been medicated for the reflux but his sleeping has never improved. We are now doing a sleep study in hospital next week to further analysis why he still isn't sleeping over 12 months later, the doc said he either still has the reflux and or apnea or it has become a learned behaviour, whichever way this study will hopefully offer the answer. He has also been diagnosed with enlarged tonsil but we're waiting to see if he outgrows this which apparently they can. Then there's my 3 year old who was also having trouble sleeping and was diagnosed with enlarged tonsils (without being sick) so she's just had them removed and improved instantly. My point being your kids may (hopefully not) have undiagnosed medical problems similar to my kids. Maybe a sleep study is worth pursuing or even a simple tonsils/adenoids check-up with your doctor. Kids can get enlarged tonsils/adenoids which can severely affect their sleep at any age according to my ENT. I hope this helps some of you or at least gives you an avenue to investigate. Good Luck and I hope we all get some sleep soon.

Feb 06, 2016
How my marriage was restore. NEW
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for stopping by you really did need to read this. My husband and I have not been married for even a year when we separated but we were together for 3 years before we got married. After his brother unexpected death my husband left me and I thought it was just because he was grieving and then come to find out he was cheating on me with his baby mama. I didn't find out until January after we just came home from El Salvador and he met all of my family. I was devastated and I didn't know what to do. I am still struggle of the crazy thoughts going through my mind and I am trying desperately to get over him, it is just so hard because I still love and care about him, I ask for an advice online on how I can get him back a kind hear ted person reply that can help restore back my man! Immediately I contacted him cos I was desperately in need of help, to my greatest surprise my my husband called me asking me come back so we can move on. If not for Great Zula my marriage would have been on mess now, Thanks very mush for helping me out Zula you just the best.

Feb 08, 2016
Stamp reward method NEW
by: Sleepless times

My son is 6yrs old since a baby he hast slept so he kinda developed that sleep pattern we work on it and worked on it reduced to two times a night my the age of 3 we then since bought are own house as we use to rent soon as he started reception we thought great he's gonna be shattered he's gonna start sleeping through but nope nothing so I the made a plan I did a stamp chart and I made the rule of 10 stamps in a row he got a treat out for tea a little toy or an outing this really worked for me and my little one but just this past week all that hard work and persistence had just gone completely he's now waking up all the time shouting across to us crying I've tried my best to be Calm but I work 3 jobs his dad works full time and we all need sleep but it's bk to the drawing board it's not easy hard work does pay off but sometimes u hit that bump in the road but the stamp method might work for one of ur little ones

Feb 24, 2016
4 year old wakes every night NEW
by: Anonymous and pregnant

My daughter is 4 on Saturday and has never slept through. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and its mentally and physically draining me. She will fall asleep with me singing to her but then will wake 3 times in the night if I go in she will go straight back to sleep. Only problem is I fall asleep in there and now she says she doesn't want to be alone. She used to sleep amazing at her Nanas but even that is bad now. I'd do the controlled crying if she didn't go straight back to sleep. Also she doesn't get out of her bed she never has done. We have never said not to she just doesn't get out!

It's so draining x

Apr 26, 2016
hey jerk faces NEW
by: Anonymous

first of all, parents are here looking for help. they don't need to be put down from rude and inconsiderate people that are obviously just trolling. if you aren't experiencing the issues that these parents are, then get out of here. Negative comments help no one.
second, if it was just as simple as to lay down the law, we wouldn't be here looking for answers in the first place.
so kindly grow up and go away.
I'm a mother to 5, and only one doesn't sleep.

Apr 28, 2016
Sometimes it doesn't get better apparently NEW
by: Anonymous

I wish I could tell you that it gets better like my friends told me. They said, "Oh, he'll outgrow it. He will not want to sleep with you once he's 11 or 12". Wrong! He's 12 and still has sleeping issues. If he can fall asleep without someone nearby, he wakes up every night multiple times scared and wanting to sleep with us or me to sleep with him. Sometimes he literally sleepwalks to my room and I turn him around and send him back (He has no memory of it sometimes). I hate to admit it but I was so frustrated with sending him back over and over one night and him crying that I actually spanked him, sent him to his room and locked my door, but it only made him panic. He sobbed at my bedroom door begging for me to lay down with him because he was scared and couldn't sleep. He may average 3 hours a night and his grades are started to suffer tremendously. He can't focus. He's tired all the time, as am I. I'm lost at what to do as well. He's being doing this since his grandma died at age 3. It's so exhausting. I feel for you all!

May 21, 2016
Re: Funny NEW
by: Anonymous

I did your way and was consistant and it never stuck. When asked if my boys had their own room and I'd say no I would get oh sorry good luck. One or the other would wake the other. No one could give advice and all became sleep deprived while being consistant.

Jul 05, 2016 NEW
by: Laura Anthony

My partner was a very kind loving man, things changed when he lost his way and spiraled to a black hole of depression. We just
had a beautiful baby and also have 3 other little girls as you can imagine. I became desperate for my partner back and our baby
needs her daddy too, so i had to reach to an online help and came across a post about Dr. Alfred and which i decided to give it a
try. All i can say now is that i never regret Dr. Alfred help as it brought peace to my situation. Contact Dr. Alfred on his email:, is worth trying and i recommend him to anyone with relationship/marriage issues.

Jul 07, 2016
by: Amadou Gillen

Have not seen magic so real and fast like of Dr. Alfred, i have been playing lottery for years and have never win this big. This time i hit it big, yes big! very big!! am talking millions, this was 5days after i contacted Dr. Alfred on his email for a lottery spell and he assured me of a big win. To be very honest, i never thought it was gonna be this big, i will forever be indebted to Dr. Alfred.

Aug 04, 2016
5 yr old stress NEW
by: Anonymous

You may not realize it, but your stress really affects your child. I remember my mom going through divorce and a bad 2nd marriage, where i, as a child,was the loser of the situation, to this day I have social stress/anxiety, and I have never slept well. I have a 5 year old (blessed late in life) and being older patents we chose to do (more because of laziness- we're older parents), attachment parenting. So he sleeps with us or in the room, and if my husband and I have a spat, he wakes up in the middle of the night looking for one of us. Don't stress out your child please.

Sep 19, 2016
Like mother like daughter NEW
by: Anonymous

I have a 5 year old who doesn't sleep through the night. I didn't either. I was about 12 when I stopped wanting to sleep in my parents room. They even had an air matress set up for me. I turned out fine, but I recall how I felt back then. I just wanted to be close to my mom. My mom passed away a few years ago and now it's not a huge issue. Life is short and I know my daughter calls for me because she wants to be near me. Frustrating? You bet. But she is being nurtured and loved and it makes her feel good. That being said, I don't want to take it as far as having her own bed in my room, but I do hope some tips will help her at least sleep through the night at some point.

Jan 03, 2017
Your children are sick NEW
by: Anonymous

Sleeping with their parents at the age of 12?? WTF? Sorry to say but that is abnormal. To get rid of them just announce at school that your child is still sleeping with you, hopefully their classmates can shame them into sleeping alone

Jan 08, 2017
Where's the stinking solution??? NEW
by: Tired and Frustrated

I was so glad to find someone else (apparently several) with the same exact problem I'm having with my son thinking there might be some suggestions for this that I haven't tried. I'm willing to try almost anything. It is 6:15am and I've gotten up probably seven times since he went to sleep last night. I never get enough sleep. Even if I give in and let him come to my room, he' moving all over the place and I end up with his feet in my face, digging into my stomach, kicking my back or wherever. UGHHH Forgive my current state of mind. I don't know what to do! Dr prescribed clonidine 0.2 along with melatonin supplements and he still takes long to fall asleep then it's as if he's sleeping with his eyes open so that he can make sure I don't leave him. I get a couple of hours after the first time I put him to sleep, but after that first time he wakes up, he's waking up screaming and crying over and over all night. I'm so tired!

Feb 08, 2017
Had the same problem in the past NEW
by: Anonymous

My 5yo now (just turned 5) was exactly the same, having difficulties falling asleep, waking up at night, crying in her sleep, sweating etc. It lasted for 2 years probably and then stopped when she was 4, maybe a few months earlier.
She used to go to many activities, we've been driving around a lot, going to bed later than she should as we lived kind of chaotic life.
After we started to let her spend more time at home, less kindergarden, less activities, making sure that she doesn't get overtired and goes to bed on time, she began falling asleep easier and sleeping trough the night.
She has her own room since 6 months ago and we just read her a story and close the door so she falls asleep on her own. She almost never wakes up in the middle of the night.
Before achieving this, one of us had to be next to her till she falls asleep. And that was a good period.
Before that, we had to sleep with her as she would call us when she'd wake up at night and it was often. She'd just sense when we left her and would wake up.

Feb 18, 2017
Sleep deprivation NEW
by: Anonymous

Ok, I've read few post here. Please take time to read this.
I really feel your pain On here parents, I'm not here to criticise any parents. As every person has their own parenting skills. But one thing I would say is I have a 10years old daughter and a 7years old son. No to rub this in. They are true blessing. My daughter from two weeks slept from 8pm-8am, I would wake her up to change her nappy. My son it took my ex wife and I two months to get him into sleeping routine of 6pm- 6am. Now my son if he get to 9pm he will tell me himself, he want to go bed, and if I say to both of them bed time is at 7.30pm. They both goes to bed. I'm not trying to ignore your pain and struggles with your kids. But as far I know kids you need to train them from young age if don't, that's when it will come to hunt you with sleepless nights. Yes it will be hard to get them to routine no parents like to hear their child's cry. But it will do them good to understand mum and dad are around in the next room and They are safe, They don't need to worry. That need to start from young age also you shouldn't go to see to your kids for every little cry they do or falls as they get older.
That would just teach them to be clingy and wanting you all the times. Because you made them think and feel that way.
Just think of it,if you're not fully functioning how you gonna look after your child? How you gonna make your marriage work?
You won't because it means less time with your partner and more time investing on your child, before you know it separation occur.
I grew up in a family of 10, I was the youngest sibling and the last one.
My sibling and I all slept all night, if I cried and it was serious my mum would be there but if it was just for attention! I wouldn't get it.
You create your own deprivation sleep when you don't want to hear them cry. Yes it's hard to see your child cry but for a long term it will be good for the child and parents. As I'm writing this now, my gf she's in her son's bed because he can't settle. He is 4, 5 this year. I'm in bed on my own thinking what's best to do to help him. But isn't my place as the mum doing what she thinks is best sleeping next to him so he can sleep. But in theory she's making it worse by sleeping there. I cannot tell you when it was the last time my son or daughter slept in my room.
Your day will be ruined if you don't get enough sleep, also can end up in depression.
Take a time and think where You're going wrong?

This was my routine with my kids from young age.

1. Breakfast
2. Snack
3. Lunch
5. Tea time
6. Before bed.

I can assure you all parents if you think of all this things you wouldn't go wrong!

Routine with my kids is,

they wake up in the morning, they have cereals around 7-8am, snacks around 10.30-11am, lunch between 12.30 -1pm, snack around 3.30pm, dinner time at 5-5.30pm. Give them time diggesf their food. Around 6.30 give them warm milk. That automatically will make them warm and calm. Which means 7.30 it will be bed time.

I've done these things for 10years and my daughter and son are angels and most behaved children on the planet when it comes to sleep.
That's my point of view and I believe any parents can do that, it's tough love at the beginning but as they get older they knows where they stand.
I hope you all find this helpful, if you need anymore advise on how to deal with your child feel free contact me on my
email I will respond to you as soon as I can with your questions. I'm not business person or place who want to get money of anyone just want to pass my experience to everyone who are struggling with their kids.

Feb 23, 2017
All the comments here loosened me up! NEW
by: Anonymous

I did end up here looking for some solution for my 5 year old waking up and walking to my room often at night, but i had a good time reading all the comments here. A few cracked me up!
Its 2:25AM here at NJ, USA as i type this....Yet to find a good solution. At least im not mad anymore learning am not alone here LOL

Mar 15, 2017
5 years old scared of sleeping alone NEW
by: Anonymous

Glad to know that i'm not alone. My 5 years old has sleeping issue since born. She can only sleeps through when sleep in the same bed with me. I think it's the lack of security that keep her up several times when sleep alone. Tried all methods but none works... exhausted

May 15, 2017
It's normal, but will we ever sleep again? NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm dealing with it too but some suggestions: limit screen time and be sure your kids aren't watching tv/phones/ipad for at least a half hour before bed. Try a reward system. I've been putting a sticker on 5-y-o's calendar every day that she doesn't wake me up and after 5 she gets a prize. She was wetting the bed for about 3 weeks until I started giving her a mini-marshmallow if she kept the bed dry and that worked instantly. Also try to leave lots of time so you're not rushing through the routine. I get frustrated at night because it's been a long day, then wait too long to start bedtime and I have to rush her and I get annoyed that she's not getting ready fast enough, it stresses her out and then she wakes up 4 times.

Jun 23, 2017
Need advice NEW
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem with my 4year old he also has heard time settling at night and is always getting up there to four times every night and has not sleep all night since he was a baby need help badly

Jun 23, 2017
Need advice NEW
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem with my 4year old he also has heard time settling at night and is always getting up there to four times every night and has not sleep all night since he was a baby need help badly

Jun 23, 2017
Need advice in what to do NEW
by: Anonymous

My son has is not sleeping is up there to four times every night and has started showing behaviour problems will not sleep unless am beside him and it's very frustrating when your a single parent and have to get up for work am at at a loss in what to do he's four years old and has being like this from he was a baby

Sep 11, 2017
Psych specialty answers NEW
by: Dr. Dan

My 6 year old is currently going through a separation anxiety phase. Some of these phases are triggered by events that your children aren't used to. Spending the night some place new, mom not being home one night, etc.

First, all the people that are saying to put your foot down and show some authority are only correct about specific behavioral problems. If a child has separation anxiety or is just determined to sleep near their "mommy", then spanking and an authoritative approach will only shame and fill your child with guilt and doubt about themselves.

Things to try: Try to address the fears with rational information if your child is older. AVOID trigger words "bed time", "go lay down", or whatever it might be. Go in their room and spend a little time with them, talk about plans for tomorrow, and keep a positive tone in your voice.

Most important: make a plan for a "safe spot" on your bed room floor. The safe spot is for your child to use only for a short time if they are feeling uncomfortable or scared. This prevents the reinforcement of sleeping in your bed, and comforts your childs mind knowing they have an escape if necessary. You have to work at perfecting this in order to prevent overuse, but it can work well. Plus, your child can come into your room and lay on the floor without disrupting your sleep in the process. Get creative, stay positive with your kids. Focus on their strengths and NOT on their shortcomings. You want to build their confidence and promote autonomy. Good Luck

Oct 10, 2017
Pictures help NEW
by: Sonia

Everyone wakes up at the middle of the and adults.
you have to explain to ur kid thatmlmmy and daddy wake up also...but there are things youcan do.
1.on the wall near his bed, put 3 pics for him

2. tell him he has 3 optioms when he wakes up:
a. he can count...put pic of number
b. he can hug a teddy...put pic of his teddy(not any random teddy)
c. he can think of happy thoughts..pic ofsliding in park, etc

he might cry a bit the first couple of nights...but instead of sleeping with him his options. stick to the plan...and it will be ok in 2 or 3 weeks!!

hope thishelps!!

Jun 11, 2019
You need to use tough love NEW
by: Anonymous

My sister is 10 years old. 10. She will not sleep by herself. She cries, talks about nobody loving her....all of that. Now I really dont know why my mom changed her parenting habits cause with me and my brother she never even entertained sleeping in bed with us since we were 3. Well recently, me and my husband moved up to be close to our family. That's when I realized how bad she was being spoiled. Now I know parents on here are gonna defend their parenting styles, but giving in to a child and not setting boundaries is harmful to them. My mom complains when we tell her that and says the whole "what should I do then? Spank her til she sleeps?" But come on by saying you either have to spoil them and give into every little thing or abuse them is dumb. There is a healthy in between option. I am posting this because my mom recently started asking me to babysit which I don't mind at all since I'm pregnant with my second. But my sister will not sleep in our spare bedroom. We've done everything from lights to music to oil. I finally got sick of her fake tantrums that i stopped babysitting. It hurts me to tell my mom no but PEOPLE YOU NEED TO REALIZE YOU ARE FAILING YOUR CHILDREN BY NOT TEACHING THEM BOUNDARIES. If you think the rest of the world or your family wants to accommodate your lack of discipline...guess what we don't. My kid almost picked up her terrible habits and I literally had to explain why my little sister is like that. Now it's driving a wedge in our family because my sister is calling the shots with her crying,and I hate to say it but she lies constantly about eing scared or being sad just so you feel bad and give in to her whim.

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About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

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