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Can't Fall Asleep Before 5am, Stay Up Thinking Bad Thoughts

by Whitney

Hi, My name Whitney and I am a 25 year old full-time student. I noticed my problem sleeping last week. I found myself falling asleep at 5am but mostly 9am.

However, the past two days have been worse and emotionally taxing. My inability to sleep causes me to overthink not being able to go to sleep and that I may never be able to sleep as I did before. I then begin to think of death - the death of my mom, sister, brothers. I begin to think of how alone I will feel and that I will probably go crazy. If these particular thoughts aren't invading my mind, then there are thoughts of hurting myself and the fear of death, of the unknown. I want to make clear that I am not going to actually hurt myself. However, in the darkness of the night, these thoughts will not go away and the fear makes me feel like I'm drowning. I'm afraid that one night I may reach my breaking point and do something I will later regret.

Once the sunlight starts coming through the windows I regain hope and I feel better. This is usually around 5am. And then I am able to sleep if only for 5 hours or less.

I dread the night like I never did before. As soon as 6pm or 8pm comes around so does the anxiety and the crying. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying, it's just an overwhelming feeling of sadness and despair.

I also want to mention that I've always been a night owl. I've slept around 12am or later and was able to sleep without feeling anxious or wary. Now I can't. I'm afraid I will never be able to sleep as I use to and I don't know if this is just insomnia or something else. There have been no changes in my life that may have caused this.

Well, that's all. Tomorrow, I begin school at 7.30am, wish me luck in being able to have a good night sleep tomorrow and go back to normalcy.

Comments for Can't Fall Asleep Before 5am, Stay Up Thinking Bad Thoughts

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May 29, 2016
Going through exactly same phase NEW
by: Anonymous

I can totally relate to you.Im 24 and i recently got graduated so im free these days and in search of a job. I've been through so much of crap in my life but whatever happened, nothing effected my sleep or my health until lately. I cant sleep till 5/6 am, i dream of loosing my loved ones, i dream of how would i react at their death, how devastated i would be, how i'll be lonely stuck with the people i never wanted to be with. Im just scared of so many things which might never come true and i really hope they never come true anyways.
Im scared that I'll never be normal again or that i might due being a loner. Mind you, ive a huge socual circle, im very friendly and i have two amazing best friends, more over my parents are absolutely amazing, despite of whatever wrong happens in my life, i feel blessed for having all of them around. But anyways, the struggle to sleep, sucks. Not that i dont want to sleep, i try my best, i exhaust myself by exercising thinking that tiredness might make me sleep or i stop eating or i eat a lot, i cut down on social media so i wont get busy on phone. I do everything in my power just to get a better sleep but i fail. I end up thinking about future which is not in my hands or the past which i cant change.
I hope i find solution to this craziness someday.

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