Can't Scream For Help

by Riley
(Ohio)

I had a seizure a few years back, so when I first started telling my mother about these episodes, she thought I might be having them in my sleep.

The first time, and call me crazy I don't care, I thought it was a ghost. My brothers had been seeing the same weird figure lately in their room, and my grandmother later described the little girl i thought I had seen.

But regardless, I remember being woken up (sleeping on my side) and felt as if I was being turned onto my back. Then, as if something was choking me, I could not speak or breath, and I saw a little girl coming out of the corner of my room, reaching for me and screaming/squealing. I did not remember waking up, just snapping out of it and running to my mom's room (I was probably 14 at the time, haha).

The next few times, however, I haven't seen anything, but I always make myself think "It's happening again" while I have these episodes, though I never see the girl, which is why we are beginning to think I may have Sleep paralysis.

I've changed my sleeping patterns in the past year, due to my brother needing to shower in the morning and nervous there won't be enough hot water for him, my mom, and me. So I get up around 5:45 AM, take a ten minute shower, and then go back to bed until about 6:40, so that's about 45 minute nap, give or take. Recently, I've been getting these episodes after going back to sleep. I'll "wake up" and tell myself not to open my eyes because I'm scared when I know I can't move anything. My breathing increases and it feels like I'm drunk, honestly: my head is spinning or as if my head isn't connected to my body. I just kind of wait for it to pass. Sometimes it goes away almost instantly, sometimes it feels like hours.

The worst I've had, and the last one I've had, was on a weekend, so I hadn't woken up at 5:45 or gone back to sleep. I woke up, on my back which was weird because I never sleep on my back, and I could see my room clearly. I couldn't breathe again, and it felt like I was shaking, I kept trying to scream for my mom, but I could barely whisper it once, the other attempts I was struggling and my throat felt choked. I snapped out of it and had a headache and when I told my mom she basically told me she doesn't know what the heck I'm talking about and that I'm crazy.

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