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Captain Jack Black Throws a Penny (S&D)

by Andrew Stutz

On Saturday evening (2/19/11), I had the following dream:

My friends and I were roaming the streets of San Francisco trying to find a karaoke contest…..Up and down Fisherman’s Wharf we went searching and searching for this premiere karaoke club, so that we could share our vocal vitality with the world. As we passed by In-N-Out Burger I turned to my right and saw a homeless man dressed in a pirate outfit.

I went up to him and asked if he knew where the karaoke contest was and he replied: “Arrg mate, what theee beckons?!” WHAT??? What was he saying? My friends and I kept on walking……but he kept on following us. He walked faster and faster until he tapped my shoulder and said: “Hello my name is Jack and I used to play baseball for the San Francisco Giants until they took my bat from me….” He began to speak perfect English and seemed to be very educated. I STARTED TO FREAK OUT!!!! I replied, “Alright Captain Jack, you think you’re just a total baseball stud don’t you? Well you look like a pirate ARGGG!” HAHA, my friends and I laughed and continued on. We got about a block ahead of him until Captain Jack yelled, “Hiiii-YAAA..” BAM!!! I had gotten nailed in the back of the head with a penny! Captain Jack wasn’t kidding after all…..he could PITCH!.....And I had just got knocked out by a penny thrown by a homeless, pirate-looking, X-San Francisco Giant Baseball Pitcher?! I woke up.

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