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I Am Most Likely Getting A Divorce Because Of Night Terrors I Don't Remember

by Jerry Kern
(Granbury, TX)

I have had night terrors for most of my life, and I don't know if this matters but both my brother and sister have too. I would wake up screaming, pushing against the wall or walking around the room trying to get out.

Around ten years ago, at the age of 33, I met the love of my life. I was very happy and we got married very quickly. I told her about the night terrors because I didn't want her to be alarmed if it happened. The first two weeks of marriage I had two episodes one was just screaming but the other one was a lot worse. I started choking her while she slept. Both of these I had no memories of. Then after that they went away for years.

Time went by and our marriage was great, a few smaller things and a few fights but nothing huge. Then small things started happening where I would wake up and be facing the wrong way in bed or be totally naked. I would start yelling at something but fall right back to sleep again. She questioned me but I never knew what to tell her because I did not know myself.

To make a long story short I will tell you about the three main episodes that happened in the last several months.

First: We had a few drinks before bed and I was tired so I went to bed first. She came into the room and said something to me and I got up and just started yelling all kinds of horrible things at her. She even slapped my twice to get me to shut up. She hit me very hard but
I didn't feel a thing. The next morning I woke up and knew something had happened but didn't really know. I was happy and came out and kissed her on the cheek and she told me she wanted to move out. We didn't speak for two days and eventually smoothed things out.

Second: One morning she woke up angry and I didn't know why. She finally told me that I woke up and screamed at her to put all our things in a hole. When she tried to touch me I yelled over and over, "don't touch me, don't touch me!" We worked through that also.

The last episode was the worse. I went to bed and fell asleep. I remember very little but what she told me was that I woke up screaming at her and would not stop. I even went out in the living room and screamed at everyone out there too. At one point I punched the door and even threatened to flush her wedding ring down the toilet. I know something happened but don't know what exactly. I feel horrible but don't really know why. I know I was yelling but don't know what I said.

These episodes have basically ended my marriage. She is moving out in a couple of weeks and will not talk to me. Just today I looked this up and found it could be REM Sleep Behavior Disorder. I keep trying to tell her I don't remember but she doesn't care. I am making an appointment with my doctor but it is probably too late. My suggestion to everyone that this happens to is to seek help quickly because I am losing the love of my life.

Comments for I Am Most Likely Getting A Divorce Because Of Night Terrors I Don't Remember

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Oct 09, 2015
by: Kevin

Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm really sorry that's happened for you. I hope your relationship mends.

I think it sounds like it's more on the non-REM Parasomnias side of things, like sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep terrors. REM Behavior Disorder is more like acting out your dreams, and the behavior you describe sounds less like dreams being acted out and more like sleep talking and walking.

Unlike RBD, these types of Parasomnias happen in non-REM sleep, so if you are able to do a sleep study they may be able to confirm that for you by seeing which stage of sleep you are in when such activity occurs. But sleep studies are tough in that you may only have one night, and you may not exhibit that behavior in that one night. So using at-home monitoring devices too like the Zeo or even the Fitbit, can help you get some info yourself on your sleep stages that may be helpful to understanding your condition. But definitely helpful if you can see a doctor that understands sleep disorders, and can use both sets of information to hopefully help you live better with it and maybe help your wife understand it is not how you feel and not something you had control over.

Best wishes.

Jun 27, 2016
I feel sorry for you. NEW
by: Anonymous

I know what it is like to find the love of your life, but I feel sad for you too. Maybe something will work out. Take care. XXXXX

Mar 02, 2017
Are you there? NEW
by: Six

Hey are you still married with her, I'm just wondering as this forum has to be at least 2 years old. I'd just like to know if you have any luck

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