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I'm A Sexsomniac

I am a 28 year old lesbian female. I used to have episodes of sleep sex quite frequently from age 18 to 21. I would wake up in the middle of the night to me fingering my girlfriends more roughly than usual. Sometimes I would wake up to them being mid-orgasm. No memory of the events leading up to those orgasms!

It happened with three different girls, one of whom was my college sweetheart who had been raped and molested previously and had PTSD from those incidents. All of my former girlfriends were so understanding and I was so bewildered by this that none of them pushed me to get help. Only one of them woke me up to stop what was happening and luckily I snapped out of it pretty easily. If it happens again I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about it. I feel very uncomfortable with the fact that I am by definition, a rapist and initiated sex with my sleeping girlfriends. Consent is very important to me, and I feel sick about it.

For some reason, my sleeping self seemed to "know" who I was sleeping with, girlfriend or non girlfriend. There were plenty of times when I shared beds with family or platonic friends without incident. One of these platonic friends had been my fiance a year before this all started, and somehow my body knew not to touch even her! I would always warn these people about my sexsomnia, which was super awkward.

I am 5'3" and petite, so maybe that contributed to the fact that my former girlfriends were more accepting of the situation? I can't imagine being with anyone who has this problem, but especially not a bigger man.

Some of my more recent girlfriends have joked that they would like to wake up to me sleep sexing them...but it's not a joke and it's not fun. I hope it never happens again!

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Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

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Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

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The Stanford Sleep Book

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Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

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