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I'm Screaming, But Apparently Not

by Alyse
(Winnipeg, Canada)

In my 19 years I've had this happen to me on numerous occasions. I first remember it happening when I was eight and it has happened a few times since then. Normally it is nothing more than me not being able to open my eyes or my blankets inflating overtop of me.


However, last year, when I was on my first trip to Europe things took a turn for the worse. I was in a hotel room with three other girls and was the first to go to bed. The next thing I remember I woke up to strange noises in my left ear. Mixed in with a variety of sounds was the sound of someone clapping. It kept getting increasingly louder and louder. I felt extreme terror and evil surrounding me. I tried to turn my head to bury my head in my pillow but I couldn't move it. I also had great difficulty opening my eyes. I tried so hard to get them open but they wouldn't stay open.

After a while the strange noises quieted down, but I still couldn't move. At this point I seemed to realize what was going on because we had studied it in my psyc class. I tried to tell myself this was nothing more that chemicals in my brain being stupid but the noises kept becoming overwhelmingly loud. I tried to talk or move my hands to wake up the girl who was sleeping next to me, but still nothing happened. No matter how hard I tried to move nothing would happen. I tried to hard to pronounce the words "Kristen help me" but my tongue wouldn't move. I could hear the words in my head but didn't understand why she couldn't hear me. I kept trying and screaming but no matter how loud the words echoed in my head I knew they weren't being produced. I could feel every bone in my body aching to move, but they wouldn't.

I was convinced I was about to die. I was terrified beyond anything I have ever experienced. I repeated to myself that this was only a messed up dream, it was literally all my brain's doing, but I couldn't calm down. I kept trying, and imagining that I was able to touch her to wake her up, but I always snapped back to the reality that no such thing had happened.

Eventually I saw her wake up. She looked at me and asked me if I was ok with a shocked look on her face. I tried again to move, to tell her to help me but couldn't do so. Then, she put her fingers in my mouth, as if she knew i was trying to talk. Her face went white and she told me I was dying and she needed to call for help.

Everything faded to black for only an instant, then I woke up again. My heart was pounding and I lay there for a few minutes, afraid to even try to move. Eventually I began to wiggle my toes and my fingers. I sat up quickly and pinched myself anywhere I could. I told myself, now fully awake that it had all been a dream and tried to go back to sleep.

The second my head hit the pillow I was filled with terror. I wasn't ready to go to sleep again. I sat in my bed for a good 30 minutes, just sitting there staring into space. I was shaking and crying and couldn't get my breathing under control. Eventually I stood up, slowly, afraid my feet weren't really there, and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the light, but I was afraid to look in the mirror. I was afraid I wouldn't see a reflection of myself, but of some demon. Slowly i looked up and saw myself, it was me, I was ok. I think I sat on the bathroom floor for another 30 minutes trying to calm myself down.

I know I didn't have hallucinations of a demon or a rapist in the room or anything like that, but the feelings of fear and terror I felt that night are beyond anything I have ever felt. I was convinced I was about to die, and although I am a person who believes not to fear death, but embrace it as a part of life, I was inexplicably terrified. This has happened to me a few times since, but thankfully has been limited to me not being able to move my body or talk. No more sights and sounds.

Comments for I'm Screaming, But Apparently Not

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Aug 05, 2011
sympathy
by: alan

This has happened to me a few times also, I hear loud sounds like someone is in my house. I keep telling myself I need to wake up and protect myself but I cannot wake up, I keep hearing the noises as if someone is getting closer. I know that I'm dreaming but no matter how hard I try I cannot wake up, I try to scream and open my eyes but I am not able too. I can't move my hands or feet, it's so vivid that I know it's as if I'm awake but paralyzed.
I found your article your by accident but am glad I did. It's very scary and I'm sorry you've experienced it but it is somehow soothing to have someone else write about their experience.
Thank you

Sep 15, 2011
Holy shit guys.. Talk about scared...
by: Anonymous

Like it has been said a few times already in your stories this is an extremely dramatic experiance.. I have been having this happen to me since i was very young and it never gets any less scary for me.. The first time I can recall it I was seven years old and I am so vivid in the description of this so called dream because I suffered some extreme drama for a kid soo young. I remember the first time I was in a dream like this and being that i was so young it really scared me to death. In the dream I was walking home with my family from a dinner where I used to live when we were under attack by strange figures as we walked through a parking lot that we always walked through after leaving this particular dinner. I could not make out if the figures were men but I just so vivdly remember being taken from my mother and what was really shocking they were able to get me away from my father who was A real strong man and a force most would not reccon with. Once they fully got away they laid me in a huge puddle of water and then instantly froze it solid to the point it was glass like and my every moving part had been frozen solid except for my eyes which were plastered open at this point.. It was absolutely horrifying cuz I could see out to these figures who had carralled my family againt a wall and were orced to stand by and just look threw this ice and ill never forget it because the utter helplessness and not being able to move an inch of my body was the worst experiance of my life. I remember when the nightmare was finally really over and i was actually up I high tailed it to my parents room and began sleeping right between them for a good while after.. This is the first time I am speaking of this because first of all I had just now finally woken up from a very similar and very scary dream and secondly this has been a constant in my life. I have had so many that you would really think I would totally given up on sleep all together. The fear of screaming or trying to scream to have the person nearest to you to come save you you is absolutely frightning.. The only comfort I can give to people with this type of event is that sometimes you are able to relize whats going and and comfort yourself until your brain reconnects or the force that is holding you finaly lets you go but even thou this has happened to me so many countless times I must admit that most of the time I am still so scared and I am now very much an adult.. I know very much what you are all going through and if hell exists that is exactly what it would be like but if you are living right and know you are a good person the good force will eventually get to you and lift the other.. Thank you for letting me share and you are not alone so lets remember that if we are the ones chosen to fight this war we have eachother.

Oct 15, 2011
cannot wake up
by: Anonymous

This has happened to me a few times also, I hear loud sounds like someone is in my house. I keep telling myself I need to wake up and protect myself but I cannot wake up, I keep hearing the noises as if someone is getting closer. I know that I'm dreaming but no matter how hard I try I cannot wake up, I try to scream and open my eyes but I am not able too. I can't move my hands or feet, it's so vivid that I know it's as if I'm awake but paralyzed.
I found your article your by accident but am glad I did. It's very scary and I'm sorry you've experienced it but it is somehow soothing to have someone else write about their experience.
Thank you

Read more: http://www.end-your-sleep-deprivation.com/im-screaming-but-apparently-not.html#ixzz1au37OSmL

Jan 06, 2012
Me too NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been in a situation like this before... i was drifting on to sleep... and then STOPPED myself. I couldnt move, or talk. I was yelling WAKE ME UP PLEASE! I was trying to force my eyes open... and then finally did. Although i didnt hear noises or hallucinate. It happens to me a lot... its terryfying

May 12, 2012
Dreams and Demons NEW
by: Anonymous

I've only just discovered that I have been experiencing just what you've described, sleep paralysis, since I was a little girl. I have been terrified for many years and am often scared at the thought of sleep. What I feel are my screams are not really screams and the vividness of the nightmares are unbelievable. Happens to me 3 to 4 times a week all my life. And it never gets easier.

Jun 16, 2012
:( NEW
by: Elo

This has happened to me 4 nights in a row! I dont know what to do :(

Nov 17, 2015
Don't want to drift back into one of these experiences again!! NEW
by: Brittany

The exact thing happens to me a lot and I'll try to yell my husbands name or hit him to get him to wake me up but I'm not even lightly tapping him. One night I was trying to scream help me and he heard a mumbling help and woke me up. Also if I lay right back down after it will happen again and these things are terrifying, I feel like I'm in danger when it happens. I also take anxiety medication not sure if this has anything to do with it.

Nov 18, 2015
Screaming and no one hears NEW
by: JP

I had a dream last night I was standing on a porch a little girl appeared and I reached out to touch her and my hand went right through her. She then proceeded to go into the house after my family I started screaming at the top of my lungs and knew that no one could hear me. My husband woke up and heard me hyperventilating he said it sounded like I was exhausted and out of breath he woke me up. I immediately opened my eyes and thanked him for waking me up and told him what happened. Of course I couldn't go back to sleep in fear I would continue my dream and ended up layi g in bed watching tv for the rest of the night. I have these types of dreams every so often and they scare the hell out of me.

Nov 25, 2015
Lll NEW
by: Anonymous

I once dreamt that a theif or murderer was standing in front of my kitchen door and I was behind him he had a knife in his hand and I was alone with my whole family inside the kitchen (the kitchen door was closed)I tried to talk move say anything warn my family but I stood there paralysed it was weird I though that it was something normal and that I was paralysed in the dream from fear but when I put a deal thought into it I knew it wasn't normal

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