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My 3 Year Old Child Wakes ME Up Every 2 Hours

by Kimberly
(Allen, Texas)

I always thought that she would just magically outgrow her sleep problems as a baby. Then she became a toddler and she still had problems, so I began thinking it was separation anxiety, etc.

Now she is nearly 3.5 years old (and the size of a 5 year old) and she wakes up more than my 2 month old son. Every 1-2 hours she wakes me up, every single night. Sometimes she'll be crying, running to desperately find me, other times it's a ridiculous request like she needs some lemonade, or she wants me to sleep with her in her bed. Since I don't sleep with her in her bed, she comes in my room all night long and continues to wake me up, and she'll come in and stand at my bed by me, and I'll try to ignore her, and she'll try to crawl into my bed with me. Then she wants to sleep on my floor with a pallet. By the time she wants to sleep on my floor, I'm so exhausted and frustrated from getting zero sleep all night long that I give in, since it is almost morning anyways.

We have tried reward systems, taking away the drinks of water at night, going to bed earlier, (7-8pm) giving her a guardian angel baby doll, she doesn't care, she just wants to be by me, and it is driving me absolutely mad. I have so much anxiety about her coming in to wake me up at night, I cannot even sleep anymore, because within 15 minutes of falling asleep, I am getting woken up. I feel like I am in a nightmare that I cannot ever escape from, and she won't stop waking me up.

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Apr 07, 2014
Oh do I know what you mean
by: Anonymous

My 3 year old son has always been a champion sleeper, the last 5 weeks something changed, for the first time he jumped out of his cot (will be transitioning to bed soon) because he heard possums on the roof (never bothered him before) and now, even when there're no noise he's up 3, 4 times and wakes me up for cuddles! I try to ignore him but the lack of sleep is consuming me, I am also anxious, can't sleep, break down and cry out of sheet frustration. I am afraid I am actually depressed and my relationship with my toddler, which has always been great, is deteriorating. I don't want to resent him or be harsh, I try to be loving and caring, but I feel I haven't got much to give right now, I am so exhausted. I am also 25 weeks pregnant and fear this problem will extend into the birth of another baby and then I'm really done for! I don't know what to do!

Apr 17, 2014
Me too!!
by: Anonymous

My 4yr old has never slept well and I'm scared to go to sleep because I know I can't get too comfy, I'll be up again and again and again. I never dream now - I used to love my dreams! I have nothing to give, emotionally. My son takes all my time and attention so I sort of resent giving to anyone else, or I just can't. All my relationships have deteriorated. I shout at my son and it's not his fault. He's tired too and hyperactive. I feel guilty when I don't have the energy to be fun and play with him but I can barely even think. Planning is hard. I'm angry with his dad sleeping soundly AGAIN, oblivious to my comings and goings through the night then expecting me to get through another day exhausted. I can't wait til each day is over but then I start worrying about the night! His dad doesn't understand at all when I tell him this and says I 'should just sleep'! As IF! I don't know if or when I'll sleep again. I can't see it being soon and wouldn't be able to relax anyway.

May 04, 2014
by: Anonymous

Isn't it about time you checked out what you are feeding them?

HELLO!!!!!! Food loaded with additives, and chemicals. Fruit and Vegs from wherever loaded with pesticides.

Even the dairy products are not Real today.

May 04, 2014
What do you mean by feeding????
by: Anonymous

My son eats lots of fresh food, always has, and he always slept like an angel until a few months ago, whatever changes happened have nothing to do with food, it's in his head, he is scared of noises that never bothered him before! I think it's very rude of you to just jump to conclusions that if our kids can't sleep it's because we're feeding them crap! If you've got nothing good to say, then say nothing at all!

May 04, 2014
by: Anonymous

Excuse me, I was going to write something longer but I have to go and buy a cow for REAL milk, I will update if it works, gee, thanks for such enlightenment!

Jun 27, 2014
In the same boat
by: Anonymous

I have the exact same problem with my 2.5 yr old daughter. It has nothing to do with what she eats as I am a health freak when it comes to my children. I think my girl has insomnia. Going to the doctors this week about it. I have tried everything! Nothing has worked so far. It's beyond frustrating when she wakes up 7/8 times a night and wants me with her constantly to the point of her brother fighting for my attention and my husband too.. I feel you frustration and hope you too find the answers. Good luck!

Jul 23, 2014
by: Anonymous

A huge number of the American population is magnesium deficient. Our foods are over fortified with calcium causing imbalance. It is well documented. My son is a different more calm person with a good liquid vitamin with magnesium. I use "Calm". If you are suffering from sleep deprivation, so is your toddler. It causes anxiety. Good luck.

Oct 07, 2014
No solution?
by: Yanick

I read comments, and other nonsense, but bottom line is that: is there a solution? What's the point of this subject if it's just stating the problem I and we already know?

My daughter always had this problem. She was born using a c-section (because of the previous pregnancy, and to prevent complications during labour) and she never slept through the night regularly. She would, for a few nights, sleep for a bout 5 hours at night. But most of the time, generally, she would not sleep more than 2 hours at a time. Whether it's night, or day (napping).

My oldest has always been a good sleeper and is now affected, too, by the youngest. We know that sleep takes a major part to the child's learning ability (i.e. grades at school) and, while both of them are not there yet, but the oldest will be next year, we desperately try to find a solution by then. This does not seem to be a problem that will magically go away with time.

We have tried all the proposed solutions from various medical and health websites; routines, healthy food, cut down on sugary stuff, calm bedtime activities, bedtime hour, naps, even melatonin. Nothing works. Routines don't work as she has an unpredictable sleep cycle and no routine worked so far.

We also tried to put her in her sister's room, thinking that it was because she was afraid to sleep alone, but now she also wakes up her sister, too. The oldest started crying often to get our attention, or just because of sleep deprivation.

We tried night-time timeouts, with no permanent luck. We tried cuddling but 1) she won't remain calm and wants to climb down, or 2) will develop a dependence to it and make the problem worst by coming into our room to cuddle... and keep us awake as she is constantly moving in bed (while staying awake).

My wife sleeps all the time during the day, I get late at work, feel sleepy at work, and I'm afraid to get fired all the time. Also, as a result, we are cut-down financially because of that and we both get cranky and have no quality of life anymore (can't afford to go out).

Punishing her does not help as she is too young to understand why she is getting punished for. Her linguistic skills are behind normals, but she shows high mental aptitudes nonetheless (motor skills, logic, spatial geometry, etc.).

But the most frustrating part is that she looks like an angel (not my words, everybody else) and behaves "normally" at day care and/or in public. Sometimes she won't nap at daycare, but since nap time last only 1.5 hours, it does not matter if she sleeps or not; she does not scream, but she plays, roll around, talk to herself quietly, play with something (...or herself), etc. and rarely bother the other children. Except that, at home and at night, it's not 1.5 hours, but rather more like 8-10 and the real problem is between 10pm and 6am.

What now?

Nov 12, 2014
What's the solution?
by: Nisha

It's 4am in London and my 3 yr old has been screaming since 2.30am!! She's never been a good sleeper since birth and when reading your posts was nodding to most your comments as she does exactly the same. We've tried various methods and you sometimes feel we've cracked it but then the next night it's even worse! So please can someone actually post a solution to this problem as both husband and I are completely exhausted (plus I'm 31 weeks pregnant). Looking forward to hearing your solutions. Very desperate!

Nov 13, 2014
Consistency is the key
by: Anonymous

Hi girls. I was one of the people who wrote a comment about my 3 year old not sleeping. He is nearly 4 now and believe me, if you are consistent it will stop. Our nights of hell lasted for about 6 months with nightly visits for anything, you name it, cuddles, water, blanket falling off the bed, couldn't find his teddy, afraid of this and that, but we kept taking him to his bed and trying to give him close to no attention. After a while the waking up for cuddles got old and h stopped being bothered getting out of bed for nothing, or just to be told off. I'm pleased to say he is again sleeping all night (except when he's sick or truly ran out of water in his cup), he wakes up happy and content at 7am. He also stopped napping altogether in the afternoon as that was making bedtime too late. I also started putting him in bed earlier, instead of the 8-9pm bedtime, he now goes to bed at 7pm. I just want to say, be consistent and persevere, it will get better as they get more independent.

Jan 31, 2015
3 year old son
by: Anonymous

Hello ladies my son did the same thing to find out his tonsils and adenoids was blocking 80/90% of his airwayhishis,now he sleeps so goodgood, so advise is ask ur Dr to see a ent Dr !!! I hope ya the best

Apr 26, 2015
Sick and tired
by: Anonymous

Well its 4 in the morning and as usual I am up. I have a Three year old boy who never sleeps through the night. And a one and half year old daughter who never sleeps throughout the night as well. I am very strict about following routine and schedules. Following a bedtime routine etc but for whatever reason they never sleep through the night. If I get lucky which happens maybe three times a month where they sleep through the night I am desperately trying to figure out what we did that day to make it happen again. They have healthy diets but they do drink a lot of milk. After reading some of the comments maybe I should stop giving them milk. Obviously I am desperate because long term sleep deprivation is scary. I am grumpy all the time and I use to be a good sleeper but now I figure why bother when its time to go to sleep. I have chest pains and feel sick every morning because my body is telling me I need rest. My husband helps out as well and its taking a toll on us both. I hope some one here has some real solutions. Next check up I guess I"ll see if it their androids...I don't know....feeling hopelessly exhausted.

May 06, 2015
by: Jessica

This site seems to be a bit of a joke. There are all of these poor families desperately posting their issues hoping for help, and NO SOLUTIONS. Can Dr. Dement please come here to help these poor people or something? I don't get it! I came here to find help for my sister who has a baby who NEVER EVER sleeps. The baby is one year old, got 1 hour of sleep last night and won't nap today and this has been going on since she was born. She has tried every routine, method, chiropractic, food changes, essential oils, EVERYTHING. I'm worried for the health of both the mom and the baby. So I keep reading and reading this site to find something, anything that can help, and all I see are desperate cries for help and absolutely nothing from the doctor. What a shame!

May 28, 2015
Possible Solution?
by: Anonymous

My 2 1/2 yr old girl will not nap. She screams and cries, throws her room upside down, turns the light on, climbs everything then I have to go into her room so she doesn't fall and get hurt. She even comes out of the room and screams and cries more. After 3 hrs of putting her back in her bed I give up, get to her level and say you don't want to nap do you? She agrees. Punishment doesn't work. At night, it's the same thing and it lasts all night. And she climbs into bed with me and squirms around. She sleeps for short periods through the night. When she does fall asleep my husband or I sneak her back to her own bed. I went to the Dr and will be trying this: No sugar. No dummies or bottles (which hers are gone anyway and sticking to it. She drinks from a cup and we're potty training.) Taking away the nap if she's refusing for the first 15min of trying for that day. Give her a glass of warm milk before bed. No matter how frustrating, do not lose control. Speak calm and be consistent. Make sure bedtime routine is the same; bath, pjs, milk, potty, story, then keep putting her in bed, no eye contact, simply say, time for bed, go to sleep. Some nights she'll refuse and need to fall asleep in bed with you, avoid that. Make sure she's well fed healthy through day and has plenty of exercise. Get up before 8am. I've tried backrubs, but just a short one while saying goodnight.

May 28, 2015
Possible Solution
by: Anonymous

My 2 1/2 yr old girl will not nap. She screams and cries, throws her room upside down, turns the light on, climbs everything then I have to go into her room so she doesn't fall and get hurt. She even comes out of the room and screams and cries more. After 3 hrs of putting her back in her bed I give up, get to her level and say you don't want to nap do you? She agrees. Punishment doesn't work. At night, it's the same thing and it lasts all night. And she climbs into bed with me and squirms around. She sleeps for short periods through the night. When she does fall asleep my husband or I sneak her back to her own bed. I went to the Dr and will be trying this: No sugar. No dummies or bottles (which hers are gone anyway and sticking to it. She drinks from a cup and we're potty training.) Taking away the nap if she's refusing for the first 15min of trying for that day. Give her a glass of warm milk before bed. No matter how frustrating, do not lose control. Speak calm and be consistent. Make sure bedtime routine is the same; bath, pjs, milk, potty, story, then keep putting her in bed, no eye contact, simply say, time for bed, go to sleep. Some nights she'll refuse and need to fall asleep in bed with you, avoid that. Make sure she's well fed healthy through day and has plenty of exercise. Get up before 8am. I've tried backrubs, but just a short one while saying goodnight.

Jun 10, 2015
Argghhh... It's 2:48am again!
by: Anonymous

Would be grateful for some advice from site owner or doctor. But since no one seems to be getting advice I not holding out too much hope! I stay in Scotland. My 3.5 year old wakes every 2 hours. Sometimes earlier for everything. Daddy only read 1 long story instead of 2 shorter ones, he wants more water, the covers fell off, the teddy fell out of bed. I am 28 weeks pregnant with SPD and need the toilet all night myself, so lucky if I get 4 hours sleep and then I lie in bed struggling to get back to sleep. I work full time too and my husband works shifts so we always have a different pattern though I try to be consistent. He has never been a good sleeper even when he was a baby and he never napped through the day. If it was a new thing I would wonder if it is to do with the new baby coming, but it's not new. It has increased though. He is a really clever, intelligent, lovely little boy but I am so tired!

Jun 11, 2015
Have Tried Everything!!
by: Sharn

I have a 3.5 year old son who will wake up 8/10 times a night and im absolutely exhausted!! I get up tap his back to put him back to sleep but he will cry for a drink or for a hug and a kiss or that he cant find his car or even to watch a movie, nothing works ive tried essential oils, sleep drops, showers before bed, putting him to sleep earlier!! Im so tired and exhausted trying to put him back to sleep that I start to get angry and start to yell at him to go back to bed, I know its not his fault and that hes just a child but I just want to sleep!! Ive tried to stick to routines and tried putting him back into bed everytime he has woken up crying but he just wont stop, he will cry for 3/4 hours and I end up putting him in bed with me because I worry about his health. ive gone to the doctors for his sleeping and they have nothing about it and now I have to take medication for my anxiety please help anybody!!

Jun 17, 2015
Same here!
by: MK

Same thing is happening with my 3.5 year old son. He's up 3-4 times a night with various reasons why (he doesn't like the bear in his room, his alarm is going off (no alarm in the room), he heard something, he saw something, there's a monster, I'm cold, I'm hot, it's always a new reason. All fake, I presume. I suspected for awhile he was having dreams but it just seems like he's in a bad habit now. He wants me to lay with him to put him back to sleep. I do not. I put him right back in bed and leave. I've been so patient and loving, but with so much lack of sleep I've started to be more firm. I feel bad. When will it end?! I have a one year old daughter and my husband and I both work from home. We are EXHAUSTED all the time and can barely function. I'm hoping someone will chime in with some ideas that worked, or some hope that it will end. Thanks to the post who said that consistency worked for them. I am trying!!!! At least that gives me hope that at some point it will stop. I don't know how much longer I can do this without cracking. ;( We need rest to function as good humans!

Jun 26, 2015
3 year old waking up multiple times at night!
by: Anonymous

Wow sounds like mine! My daughter is almost 3 and she has been waking up between 3 to 5 times a night for two months now! She always says she can't sleep or its to noisy! It's driving me mental! Literally. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted everyday and I also work.

Jul 19, 2015
I find solution
by: Anonymous

I had this problem with my son which is 2,5years old . I started sleep together so I'm sleeping well and my son too. Everybody happy in the morning.

Aug 16, 2015
You will get there!!
by: sharn

Hi guys me again! I have recently put my son in his own room, he has never been a good sleeper, as stated in my last comment about his bad sleeping and waking up around 8 times a night crying for anything he could think of for me to give him cuddles or put him in the bed with me!! everyone is asking for a solution as i was too!! What i did was make his room the coolest room a lil boy could have. i put posters up of his favorite cartoon and movie characters on the wall in his room, got him a awesome mat that has roads and houses printed on it, a cool little lamp so he can always see, put all of his favorite cuddly toys on the end of his bed and put some glow in the dark stars on his ceiling on top of his bed.. when i put him in his room for the first time I reassured him that i was here for him, right next to him in my room only a wall away, that i could here him if he needed me and that im still here even though he cant see me,also kept on saying that his room is so awesome, it totally worked guys!! he did call out to me a couple of times i guess for his reassurance that i was there and can here him, i just went in his room told him that its bed time you have to go to sleep now, gave him a big hug and kiss and once again reassured him that i am here and left his door right open, over 2 weeks i slowly closed the door little by little each night. It really worked he didnt wake up once and is still sleeping perfectly!! I hope this has helped someone!

Aug 30, 2015
Being tired sucks
by: Tired Mom of 3

Hi all! Been dealing with a similar issue with my now 3 year old son for a year now. He was an amazing sleeper from two weeks old up until a year ago. We've tried everything and from my profession I know all the sleep hygiene stuff. We did discuss with a pediatrician who recommended an ENT because sleep apnea is a VERY common issue in toddler. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed which helped some. Now we're scheduled for a sleep study because he's still up a few times a night versus several times a night. I'd encourage you to discuss with a pediatrician and maybe get a referral to a sleep specialist. Good routines, a healthy, loving household and a lot of prayer can't hurt. Seriously, pray for your child. God hears you and loves your kiddo even more than you. :) Blessings.

Sep 17, 2015
Same here
by: Anonymous

I have the exact same issue with my 3.5 year old he goes to bed fine at 7pm but come 11pm hes wide awake I out him in my bed hoping for some sleep I also have a neighbour that complains about noise so leaving him crying in his room is not an option .He comes in my bed then spends all night sitting up talking,demanding things,crying,screaming anything but sleeping this will go on until 5am when he finally falls asleep I drop off about 6am and my alarm goes off at 7am ready for nursery. I am at my wits end I have tried sticker charts rewards bribery you name it but it just makes no difference.

Sep 18, 2015
Just a thought..
by: Anonymous

Just a thought but what if you just let you child sleep with you? Or on a mattress on the floor next to you. You'd sleep and they'd feel safe and secure. It doesn't seem right that both parents sleep together but scared lonely child has to be separated. It won't last forever.

Nov 15, 2015
Have You Tried Herbal Remedies?
by: Janette Y

I'm reading so many comments about toddlers not sleeping and it breaks my heart! Partly because you aren't getting sleep, but also because your little ones aren't either.
I have a 3 year old son that hated sleep from the day he was born. It caused me anxiety, depression, and a disconnect in my relationship with him because we were both running off of so little sleep. He had a dairy allergy that we didn't know about until he was 14 months old, so he would sleep propped up on a pillow between me and my husband in our bed most of his infant life. The dairy caused congestion and asthma symptoms and I always wanted him next to me. After that was under control, he still wanted (and sometimes still wants) to be in our bed. We weren't consistent in walking him back into his room because half the time we didn't know he was in our bed until we got kicked in the head!
So with many, many sleepless nights under our belt, I reached out to a friend who was an herbalist and she recommended a specific herbal drink. It helped so much! The company also sold wonderful and natural herbal products to help me sleep and break that cycle of anxiety and depression without having to resort to prescription drugs. I'm not saying this to sell a product to anyone (even though I am a rep now for the company for full disclosure here!) but I just want to say there is hope. Of course things may change over time as they learn and grow and test limits, but we adapt and adjust along the way. Sleep is so vital in our overall health and our body literally needs sleep to cleanse, rejuvenate, and reset itself. It's no wonder we feel like zombies when we don't get enough! Through the day we are faced with so many stressors and our body is busy processing all the junk from that, that it needs sleep to do some pretty amazing and important work to keep us up and running. That goes for our sweet little ones too!
So while my answer is an herbal drink, I know there are other methods out there that work as well. You have to decide what is best for you and your family. Just know your toddler not sleeping does not mean you are doing something wrong or are a bad parent. You are here reading this because you want to help your child which actually makes you a pretty darn good parent!

Nov 15, 2015
So Exhausted
by: Anonymous

So many people with the same problem, and seems these children are all the same age range. I, too, have a son who is 3 1/2, and wakes up crying and yelling for his mother every two hours, and sometimes as little as every 20 minutes. He has always fought going to sleep, so we do small doses of melatonin to get him to sleep, but it doesn't keep him asleep. He doesn't get out of his bed, he will just sit there in his bed, crying and screaming for his mom. We have tried to ignore him, but he get to crying so hard he throws up. I have tried to calm him down, but he still cries and just wants his mother to lay down with him. I tell him mom is tired and she's sleeping, and he cries harder. This is not just a night or two, this is every night, 7 days a week. He is up by 6am like nothing is wrong, while we are exhausted. He gets tired around 10 or 11 and wants to go to bed for a nap, but it's the same thing...he thinks mom needs to lay down with him. He falls asleep, she gets up, he wakes up a short time later crying because she's not laying there with him...Then he's wanting bed again by 7 or 8pm, and, again, thinks mom needs to lay down with him, and then we're back to every two hours, or less, that he wakes up crying and yelling for mom...I'm at a loss as what to do...maybe switch off nights with the wife at staying in a motel so we can get some sleep...I'm open for any ideas...anyone????

Nov 17, 2015
no sleep
by: Anonymous

I also have a 3 1/2 year old who just recently has been waking up every few hours and running into my bedroom screaming my name to help her, usually with something like my teddy fell out of bed etc. What I want to know is what is the solution because hubby and I have been consistent about bedtime routines her entire life. Sometimes a visit to the chiropractor works but I can't do that everyday. I still need my sleep.

Nov 20, 2015
by: Anonymous

Why is it so hard to just tell the child "no?" That's what I did, and that was the end of it. Sure she cried and threw a fit, but I just put her back in her room. I love my daughter, but there are ground rules that I do not allow her to cross. I've been reading a lot of comments and I see a pattern with these mothers. They are not being firmer with their children, and allowing them to interfere with THEIR time. Being firm doesn't make you mean, your setting ground rules and building structure. Long story short, it's not the child, it's you not telling them "no."

Nov 20, 2015
Not that easy...
by: Anonymous

I'm pretty sure if just telling our children "No" would work, we wouldn't be here searching for alternative answers. That's awesome your child listens so well. Unfortunately, not all are like that...although I do hope my next one is. :) I have a very strong willed one and saying "No" is like a game to him as he challenges everything. I'm blessed to be his mom even though it is exhausting. I hope it means he will be a leader one day and I'm doing my best to raise him so that he uses his strong-will for good in this world. Everyone's child is different and responds better to different direction.

Dec 06, 2015
your answer
by: Anonymous

You don't even have to say no just say nothing at all, no talking just put them back in bed and walk away it works but it takes a few times for them to get the hint but it works, you all want answers but when someone gives you good advice one you say oh no its not that easy but it is, no talking or any kind of attention that's what they want or they wouldn't bother.

Dec 10, 2015
To the mother who suggested just saying
by: Anonymous

How about if you say no and your child screams at the top of their lungs for hours on end. How about when your husband can't handle her screaming because he has anger issues and anxiety. How about if you live in an apartment complex with paper thin walls. That is not good advice at all. These people are desperate for answers, don't you think "just saying no" would've been one of the first things they'd try. Sheesh I swear

Dec 11, 2015
by: Anonymous

I am jealous of the people getting up every 2-3 hours.. my 3 yr old is up every 30 min. Like clock work!! Just enough time for me to get comfy, and i am right back up!! Enjoy those 2 hours!!!!!!

Jan 07, 2016
Check for anemia
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry I don't have an answer with a quick fix. My son was never a good sleeper. He is 3 1/2 now. About a year ago he was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity and anemia. From my research I found that an anemic child does not sleep good. They also have adhd like behavior.
I want to add, even though it has nothing to do with sleep, that once I took gluten out of my son's diet he started talking and learned to peddle a bike overnight. We have come a long way and still have a long way to go. He was diagnosed in March of 2014 and when I had his blood tested again at the end of October he was still anemic. His numbers improved but it's a slow process.
Good luck to you all. I KNOW it is not easy.

Jan 25, 2016
About to lose it
by: Anonymous

My daughter slept through the night since 6 weeks she was an amazing sleeper
She was so dependant on the bottle but we successfully weaned her off that at 3 and put her in a bed. She was sleeping from 5:30pm-5:30am every day. She was just too tired I couldn't keep her up longer than 5:30pm. We were getting sick of her waking up so early we just wanted a sleepin but now I long for that.
Ever since a two week holiday over Xmas with no routine and lots of exciting everything went out the window. Takes about 2 hours to get her down, and now she wakes up at 1am yelling and crying and won't get back to sleep.
She's running on nothing and I'm running on nothing I dread going to sleep as I know I won't get any. Her brother 9 months wakes up twice in the night so with the both of them there is just no sleep.
Last night we decided to put her back in a cot, it stopped her getting out of bed but not the screaming and yelling for us.
We have also started giving her back the bottle just to settle her
Feel like everything I worked hard for has gone out the window
I think we will stick with cot for awhile and let her cry it out a bit
What else is there to do!?

Jan 30, 2016
by: Anonymous

Discipline your children.... I went through it if you baby them they will keep doing it to get cuddles and attention .. whoop the hind end and it will stop my kid is happy going to bed and waking up he knows better then to keep running in and out of my room all night .. loving and cuddling did not work for mine I did it until I was fed up with it and consistency is key , I let mine watch a movie in bed at 7 at 9 it goes off and radio comes on if he comes out more than twice without an actually reason I pop his butt and eventually he quit coming out disrupting me I haven't had too whoop him for almost 4 months at bed time now .. spare the rod spoil the child so quit complaining about how much you baby them wondering why they keep coming back for more

Jan 31, 2016
Whatever happened to the family bed?
by: Anonymous

Do people think that the human race started or thrived by popping babies out and putting them in beds and rooms apart from their parents? Infants and toddlers need nurturing and protection from their parents, not isolation, and "tough love." Shame on parents who don't take children close and warm and protect them, no wonder they can't sleep and seek their parents. I am surprised as many children adapt to being shut away as they do. Want to know the solution? Start at birth and make a family bed.

Mar 05, 2016
It's not our fault!
by: Anonymous

As much as I agree with co-sleeping and the 'family bed' it doesn't solve the sleep problem. My two year old has always slept in my bed and always woken. At the moment it is a particularly painful asking for hours in the middle of the night. Possibly teething related...

But yeah, as much as I would recommend co-sleeping for happy children I don't think it's helpful to blame parents for not doing this. From what I've read about sleeping (and I'm pretty obsessed!) it is a common problem for everyone. For people who have always kept regular early bedtimes for child, who follow routine, who don't, who are strict, who are not. It's not our faults and they will eventually grow out of it.

But to the 'spare the rod, spoil the child' person...really?? In this century? It's illegal in the UK, and I thought in the states, but maybe I'm wrong...But either way, I'm pretty sure you're storing up a heap of problems, it sure isn't the way to make a happy adult :(

Mar 17, 2016
Ask for help, Parenting isn't a one-(wo)man show!
by: Anonymous

I stumbled on this site in the early morning hours. My 2.5 year old still wakes up throughout the night quite often, as she always has. She has some sensory issues that make sleep difficult for her, but since we've always breastfed/coslept, she's able to fall right back to sleep. In fact, I usually do too! I understand the clouded judgement & desperation chronic sleep deprivation can bring, but reading other mothers advice to spank/whoop/pop/hit your child to teach them not to come to you in times of need not only sounds wrong, it has been scientifically proven to be detrimental to children's self-esteem & IQ! Don't teach your kids that people who love them will hit them. Ask for help. Yes, I know, it's hard. But someone out there can help. A friend or family member that can give you a few hours rest can help tremendously! It may seem like it's never going to end right now, but look back at a newborn photo to remember just how quickly time flies. The days feel like years (especially when you're tired!), but the years feel like days. This too shall pass.

Mar 20, 2016
Wow really?
by: Anonymous

Jesus have mercy on you people.. Co sleep and the problems go away.. Let the kid sleep with you in bed!! U really need a Dr to tell u this??

Mar 20, 2016
Most Solution Answer
by: Anonymous


There i am dad. I have 3 years old son who wakes up every few hour when he is in bed alone. So i think most 2 and 3 years old get scade when they sleep alone i think you mum should let him sleep with you untill he proper understand and you then tell him he needs to sleep alone. Well now my son sleep all night long he sleeps with us i understand we need some time and room but thats how it is they feel safe when they sleep next to parent and sleep well. When they are two or 3 i think they are not ready to sleep alone they will wake up every few hours my advise if you want long sleep let him or she sleep with you!!!!!!! Writing while my son Yasin sleeping next to me peacefully amd mum doing shower at 12am 21/03/2016

Apr 05, 2016
Seeing some improvement
by: Anonymous

Hi, my 2.5/almost three year old child had similar issues - waking up every 2 hours screaming unreasonable demands and would not settle back down. My husband would sleep with him but this isn't actually what he wanted - he was just hysterical and disoriented. He was also being very combative about going to bed. For about 6 months had been locked in his room and was using a toddler bed and we just let him cry it out (usually he would stop crying in about 10 min) but about 3 months ago this escalated to crying for 2hrs and we were concerned that locking him in was going to traumatize him so we unlocked the door. He was also going through a phase where he was tantruming a lot, testing boundaries, and learning to be disciplined with time outs.

Now about 2 months after we started this plan things have improved about 50%. At first my husband would put him to bed and fall asleep with him and then leave after about an hour or just sleep with him the whole night just to get him back into the routine of going to sleep peacefully and when he woke up at night Daddy was there. He would still get out of bed and scream but was easier to settle down. We established "rules" for nighttime wakings "no screaming, no stomping, no go downstairs" and gave him the option of "sleep in daddy's bed, or sleep in his bed" Now just because we had the rules doesn't mean he actually listened to them but eventually as he got the idea of time outs in general we would occasionally give him a time out at night if he was really bad and close the door and say to him "when your all done screaming you can come out of your room" We also told him through lots of repetition and showed him the window - "its night time, its dark, the grass is black, sky is black, time to go to bed" "when the sun is up its time to get up"

Then I put a big sticker wall next to his pillow with truck decals which he loves...we told him we would leave and be right back to check on him and to look at his trucks until we came back. We check on him in 5 minutes and say Give me a kiss, give me a hug, cover you up, I'll be back to check on you. We keep doing this every 5-10 minutes until he is asleep. Eventually when we went back in he will sometimes say "momma go!"

Now when he wakes up at night usually I tell him "see its dark outside, time to go to bed, give me a kiss, give me a hug, cover you up, i'll be back" and he is ok with that.

Hope that helps

Apr 08, 2016
Sleep deprived
by: Anonymous

Why isn't there a solution on here !

Apr 26, 2016
by: Anonymous

At least your misery should end one day. I have two small children who also wake up for the 'normal' preschooler type things but who also both have life threatening medical conditions requiring me to also wake up two to three times a night in addition, just to keep them alive. There are no solutions and they will never grow out of it. This is exhausting as there is no end possible. My husband and I also have to work full time so no sleeping or resting during the day. My sincere advice is accept and find a way to cope with what you have as you never know when things might get a whole lot worse!

May 02, 2016
Their is no fix for this!
by: Chadurban

Sadly their is no real solution to this. It is an age thing that your child will grow out of in time. My now 6 year old daughter did this starting at 2 1/2 years and has stopped for the most part for about a year. Sadly my 3 1/2 year old son is doing it now. They overlapped with both of them getting up for about six months. Hopefully he stops in the next year and a half though that would make 5 years straight of nearly every night having interupted sleep for the wife and I. Good times!

Jun 13, 2016
Hope this gelps
by: Anonymous

I have 3 year old and an 18 month old. They were both waking up about every hour and I would end up hold the little one Nd rocking her while sitting on the end of my three year olds bed. I became so exhausted I started making a bed in the living room and having them sleep with me (my husband is studying for the bar so needs all his sleep)

First I got a babysitter to watch the kids for a couple hours each day so I could nap. This helped me function better during the day and have more stamina for staying up at night to help my little ones.

With the 18 month old I would put her down and then go in after 2 min. Pick her up and as soon as she stopped crying put her right back down. I repeats this with each interval getting longer. The idea was to go in before she really lost it but to help her learn to go to/back to sleep on her own. The first night we made it to 10 minutes and on the second too. By the third night after progress in to 20 min. The fourth night she went to sleep by herself and stayed that way. I did their at the start of the night and when she woke up in the middle. Now she sleeps through the night unless she can't find her lovey animal and the. I just go in and give it to her and she's good to go!

With my 3 year old I did basically the same thing. First I eliminated all tv. And we would sing songs about the cute/silly/funny monsters at home with their mommies going to bed and singing too! (or whatever was the worry that night) then I would tell him I had to go check on his sister and be back to check on him. I did the same time expansion routine. It worked :) he does still get up sometimes when he's blankets fall off or get wrapped around him or I find his head where his feet are supposed to be. but as soon as I rearrange him he goes right back down. I'm looking for a solution to this.....

A babysitter for a nap each day until I solved this was a must!
It helped me think more clearly, have more patience, have hope, and have the energy to help my children.
i will never forget the months of exhaustion and frustration and despair. I hope this will help someone!

Jul 25, 2016
by: Anonymous

Kid turns three in one month. Same problem. Nothing works. Just read every comment and am now hopeless.

Aug 19, 2016
by: Anonymous

Up also with a 3 and 6 year old who get up several times during the night. It is exhausting. I read through the whole feed in search of answers and I am bummed to see no responses from some sort of professional. I am glad to see that I am not the only one out here with this problem.

And to those of you who are leaving your less than helpful comments- I am guessing you don't have kids that wake up during the night and you should take your opinions elsewhere. I am pretty sure every parent or here has tried everything to fix the problem but now have resorted to trolling the Web at 2am in search for help!

Sep 01, 2016
here's some things that have worked for us
by: Anonymous

hey all. we have 3 kids under 6 so we definitely feel everyone's pain.

here are some things that have worked for us over time:
--black curtains (or just a black sheet) over the windows to block out any outside light (streetlights, car lights, porch lights, etc) that might distract the kiddos AND to help prevent them from waking up at the buttcrack of dawn
--a clean, tidy room (the clutter can cause anxiety)
--white noise and/or soft lullaby music
--a dim spinning colored light to help distract them enough to fall asleep
--air purifier (provides both white noise and clean air)
--adding epsom salts to bath time (the magnesium absorbs through the skin and helps relax them and, apparently, can help with some ADD-type issues)
--melatonin supplement (this was recommended to us by a nurse who said they use it for colicky newborns) but ask your doctor first
--heavy-ish bedtime snack (cheese stick, cottage cheese, peanut butter, etc) to help them not wake up hungry
--plenty of protein during the day to also help them not wake up hungry

whew. we've tried a lot! we are still struggling with a 3 year old who wakes up in the middle of the night, but we are coming close to cracking his code, too.

may peace soon be restored to your home!

Nov 28, 2016
Me too NEW
by: Anonymous

I feel awful now. It seems.s the norm. My son turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and has been waking at night for about 6 wks. Just found out he is anemic bug I think it's also habit. We are supplementing iron. I hope it helps but know it won't for some time. I'm exhausted. We have tried it all. Letting him sleep with us is the next step but honestly I don't think it will stop the waking. Wish we had good ideas of why this happens at this age.

Nov 30, 2016
We're all in the same boat! Does anyone have a solution that has worked? NEW
by: Anonymous

I have a almost four year old, who was sleeping 12+ hours a night from 2 months old! Now, for the last couple of months, she has been getting up throughout the night saying she isn't tired, she needs water, has to go to the bathroom, wants me to lay with her, etc. We are now on Day 4 of hardly, if any, sleep at all. It is a fight to get her to go to bed, and then when we do get her to sleep, she is up within an hour or two. The delay tactics are ridiculous!

I was able to make a dr appt yesterday for her and unfortunately, I got a dr who does not have children. She basically told me tough sh*t and hopefully it gets better for you. She does not understand the stress of not being able to sleep and having to work a full time job!

We have tried rewards, time outs, taking away her stuffed animals when she is not going back to sleep as punishment, no "treats" the next day, etc. It does not faze her. Now that we are nearing Christmas, Eddie the Elf (Elf on a shelf) has appeared and we have even stated that Eddie will be letting Santa know that she is not being a good girl, in turn she will not get a visit from Santa. This still has not helped.

In addition, for a child who literally only gets 3-4 hours of sleep per night, where does all the daytime energy come from? She does not nap anymore and still has a crazy amount of energy. She's like the energizer bunny! She doesn't stop! You would think she would be tired by the time its bedtime, but nope it's still a fight!

Reading online it states that toddlers can develop insomnia, which in turn can cause ADHD, anxiety and obesity if it is not treated.

Anyone have any methods that have helped? I am ready to pull my hair out and may have laid in bed last night crying because it was so stressful. Obviously I don't want to have an upset child but I'm afraid this is now a bad habit that will be hard to break.....

Dec 04, 2016
Possible solution NEW
by: Anonymous

I am a father of 3 year old boy and We have tried everything as well. Those people who think everything is food related is ridiculous. We have done everything from food, consistency, change of routine,tv and no tv and nothing environmental works. We have figured out that it's night terrors or most likely growing pains. I have been measuring my child every week and noticed when he has a growth spirt for a couple of weeks is when he is wakes up all the time. I started giving him baby tylenol before he goes to bed and it didn't work the 1st night but works the 2nd night. I will keep you posted. Just realize time is on our side and this won't last forever

Dec 15, 2016
Love NEW
by: Anonymous

Hello my fellow sleep deprived parents,
First, to all of those parents who are placing their "rude" comments to us parents who are trying, stop. It is not helpful to scold anyone who is sleep deprived. What you do with your child is your business.
My 3 year old has never been a good sleeper, my wife and I have done everything we can . What we have found works is consistency. My wife joined the Air Force and there was a time of 6 months without mommy consistently, we were concerned that her lack of sleep was going to get worse, but we stayed consistent, and it works. My daughter does not sleep through the night, but she does go to sleep on her own without us. She comes in to our room about 1 AM and we welcome her in our bed and sleep. There are some nights where I have to take her in her room and lay with her there because she is moving to much, night terrors, what ever...but we have found that I can function on little sleep, where my wife can not. Needless to say I am in our boat and we are doing what we can as parents until our child is no longer with in this phase, I know she will grow out of it eventually. So don't let people tell you are doing anything wrong, you are being parents and doing the best you can.
There is no solution other than listen to your gut and your child. I never thought I would be a co sleeper, I actually was against it, until I was exhausted and needed I love the nights she cuddles, and miss the nights she sleeps longer. Screw what people say about the way you parent, do what is right for you and your family. Email me anytime you want advice, or just to talk,

Dec 16, 2016
Finally! NEW
by: Anonymous

So I posted last year and my now 4 year old has shown significant improvement in sleeping through the night. He was coming into my room and wanting to sleep in my bed nightly ever since he could climb out of his crib. My husband and I weren't getting good sleep and neither was my son leaving us all cranky the next day. I was also pregnant most of this year and having my son in bed with us was just not working out.
When I had my second child, my mom stayed at my house watching my son while my husband and I were at the hospital. We were there for 3 nights and when we came son slept in his bed all night and has been since August. I think not having me and my husband there for him to crawl in bed with reset his little brain to just sleep in his own bed. Maybe you can take a little weekend vacation without your little one somewhere and try having someone else watch them. Even if that doesn't work, at least you'll get a few nights of good sleep out of it. Otherwise, give it time...grace...and lots of coffee the next morning.

Jan 18, 2017
My solution. NEW
by: Anonymous

My 3yr old sleeps in my bed. She would walk in the dark to go to bathroom and potty in the dark. I never had any real issues with her sleeping or being scared. Then about 3 months ago it all changed. She would ask me to come with her to potty. Then she started waking up in the night whining and crying. After a few weeks of this,some begging and some tears. One night I ask her why, what's wrong,why you don't act like a big girl and potty ans sleep? She says mommy I'm scared. I'm scared to potty by myself I'm scared when you turn off the lights. I asked scared of what she says the wolf that blew down the 3 piggy house. She said when she sleeps the wolf is there. I felt sooooooo horrible. My baby is scared which is a natral feeling that everyone felt at some point or time in life. I felt so helpless that this children's book that was read to her in school has officially traumatized my little girl. So now I have her favorite nightlight paw patrol in my room and she has a minnie mouse flashlight that sleeps with us. For now this is working for us. I have rules too that I won't bend. But for something like my 3 yr old being scared. I had to make an adjustment for the comfort of her sanity. Not only was I going through something but believe it or not 3yr Olds go through things too.

Jan 18, 2017
3 year old girl driving me crazy! NEW
by: Kim

HI all
I've read most comments and I would love to hear of any success stories. My three year old daughter , ever since she turned three, has become a VERY bad sleeper at night. Every 2-3 hours she comes into my room saying , "tuck me in". That's usually all she says. We have done all the reward systems, locked her room , patiently and calmly put her back to name it. nothing has worked. Recently took her to the DR. She recommended we lock her room and let her CIO for 3-4 days straight. I tried one night and it broke my heart. She cried evert 2 hours and was even more sleep deprived the next day. Should I have stuck to it?? I am so lost. I need my sleep to take care of my 1 year old twins and I also work part-time. The funny thing is my mom has her sleep over at her house once a week and SHE SLEEPS THROUGH!! IT'S obviously a seperation anxiety she has with only me.
I need to know...
Success stories with co-sleeping (I really don't want to resort to this as I don't want my twins growing up thinking hey let's all sleep with way!!)
Sucess stories for just being patient and how long this phase lasted
We just started the GRO clock...we will see how that works. Prob won't !!
Success stories with locking their door and CIO

I'm so torn! Pls..aNY advice !!

Jan 19, 2017
My daughter is 3 1/2 yrs old and wakes up almost every night! NEW
by: Anonymous

It makes me feel good to read all these comments. Not because you're going through it too but because it's kind of normal. My munchkin has nights where she just gets out of bed 2x(no third time because she is then in parents bed)and times when she stays in her bed but calls out she's thirsty or wants a hug etc. When I can't take the list of sleep I just let her fall asleep with us but she has me sleeping in the edge of the bed. She kicks her dad in the head or just decides to tell us her dreams out loud. I am out of work so some days I get up get my 8yr old ready for school,I feel so drained I have to try to go back to bed while she watches tv or hangs out with her dad. This is the life of a parent. Every kid and parent are different.

Feb 12, 2017
Grandmother NEW
by: Anonymous

I am the grandmother 74 years old of an autistic child he used to not sleep check up on Google and find out about chamomile tea make it cold works for me he sleeping all night and he takes a nap

Feb 15, 2017
Hope NEW
by: Anonymous

Hello Everyone.
Just wanted to say that I went through this problem with my 2.5 year old daughhter. She would wake up crying or scared every two hours all night long. She has never been a great sleeper anyway so did not seek any help. This phase lasted for about 3months for us. But recently my daughter started to sleep 8 hours straight. I think it is phase which will pass.

Mar 07, 2017
So sorry for you NEW
by: Anonymous

My son had at 2 1/2 we find out had sleep apnea. His adenoids and tonsils got removed just weeks before his 3rd birthday. He would wake up scared because his breathing would stop. He would move around and snore so bad. He'd be afraid to go to sleep now when he sleeps he's quiet. It's so weird thinking how night and day his sleeping has changed but he still wakes at night almost every night. He must have noise of a fan and it's so annoying. Don't know if other kids who had sleep apnea never quite grow out of it but pease get your child tested for it. You have to do a sleep test over night at a clinic and they test the sleep pattern and breathing. Every 2 hrs at 3 almost 4 isn't normal.

I too haven't slept well in over 4 yrs now. Cranky, have strict schedule and just don't want to be bothered much but I try to push through it.

May 04, 2017
Ridiculous NEW
by: Anonymous

My 3 year old screams every night! He doesn't tell me what he wants and he screams at me to go away, then when I walk away he screams at the top of his lungs for me to come back. Worst part is I live with my parents who both work in hospitals and have very high up jobs so he keeps them both awake aswell as me, I also work in a hospital. It's getting to the point where I truly hate him during the nights and if I could I would lock him in a room and leave him all night! I'm tired, depressed, fed up and ready to give up. I need help and how to get him sleeping through.

May 15, 2017
Toddlers are changing constantly NEW
by: Anonymous

Our almost 3 year old wakes up several times in the night and asks for me. If my husband guess to her, she cries for me. There's just something special about a mother. Cherish that. I know it's hard; I'm only on this site right now because I'm at wits' end, but there will come a time when they won't want you to even touch them.

So, that said, I've been reading about empathetic parenting. If you think about it, there are all kinds of things that could have started a pattern of wakefulness for your little one. Growth spurt is a big one. Developmental changes are constant and may mean added clinginess for a time. Something going on at daycare that makes them nervous; a change in your or your kid's schedule can wreak havoc. Even being a bit hungry or thirsty, tight pajamas... Check the easy things, as I'm sure you all have, but try to put yourself in their little shoes. Ask them what's wrong, if they feel like they need more time to play with Mama in the day time. Just try to empathize with their continually changing lives and their utter trust in and dependence on you.

May 15, 2017
Toddlers are changing constantly NEW
by: Anonymous

Our almost 3 year old wakes up several times in the night and asks for me. If my husband guess to her, she cries for me. There's just something special about a mother. Cherish that. I know it's hard; I'm only on this site right now because I'm at wits' end, but there will come a time when they won't want you to even touch them.

So, that said, I've been reading about empathetic parenting. If you think about it, there are all kinds of things that could have started a pattern of wakefulness for your little one. Growth spurt is a big one. Developmental changes are constant and may mean added clinginess for a time. Something going on at daycare that makes them nervous; a change in your or your kid's schedule can wreak havoc. Even being a bit hungry or thirsty, tight pajamas... Check the easy things, as I'm sure you all have, but try to put yourself in their little shoes. Ask them what's wrong, if they feel like they need more time to play with Mama in the day time. Just try to empathize with their continually changing lives and their utter trust in and dependence on you.

Nov 17, 2017
This may help some NEW
by: Anonymous

Seriously negative comments come on not one child is the same what works for one doesn’t arena it’s going to work for others your not helping by adding thieve comments so don’t bother!!
My mr has just turned 4 and he never sleeps
After trying so many different things like routine,foods melatonin swapping bed rooms new bed you name it I have done it and I have finally figured out my sons problem it’s ME!!! If he stays at grand parents house he will go in a bed on his own in the dark and asleep by 8 and he sleeps mostly up to 9 am and I am like WTF impossible
He is very attatached to me through out the day I have put him in day care 1 day a week but that hasn’t helped now when he wakes he is asking am I still here he will fall sleep anywhere from 8-9.30pm but then to wake from 12 onwards all night then be up at 5.30-6
We have found it is me he is fine when I’m not around and as soon as I’m around if I have left him he will start crying and moaning all the time
You need someone else to help do not do everything for them as I have done it only hurts them and yourself I know being a Mum you think how is this possible if your the only one around they need to get some independence even a sibling can help you if the child needs something or involve them to help you do things to learn them they don’t need you all the time they can do it they are a big person now
I agree with one of the other post if it is possible try going away for a few nights have someone stay at your place with the child and see if they sleep why you are away it just may help your child needs to break the clingy connection don’t feel bad your not pushing them away you are doing it for them cause come on who wants to listen every day to a child crying and moaning because they are so tired and not to mention you are to!!! So that’s what I need to do to I need to have my Mum come here to stay why I go sleep and I mean sleep a few days (lol) and see if it helps anything is worth the try I say
If your like me and tried everything your child has seperation anxiety that’s why they are waking to mke sure your still there and for you to comfort them

Dec 20, 2017
Hold with Love NEW
by: Susan

These problems may be results from problems falling asleep by child alone. If you get used to a child, that every time you are with him/her, how he falls asleep, when he/she will wake up - will not know that he/she can just sleep further. The HWL - Hold with Love method may be helpful. Take a look at the literature, for example Susan Urban describes how to use it in a short and easy to use guide.

Jan 02, 2018
Sleeping problems NEW
by: Anonymous

Maybe its spirits in your house kids have a sick since about things like that I know my kids do and now I do to never really believed in that sort if thing but I do now after the crazy experience I have had ask your kids what's waking them up

Jan 04, 2018
HWL Method by Susan Urban NEW
by: Bridget Ferrie

I used the HWL method from 'how to teach a baby to fall asleep alone' guide by Susan Urban as well. It took me 3 days to teach my LO to sleep all night long after 2,5 years of waking up every hour at night! I was sleep deprived and extremely exhausted! Really recommend this guide, got it here

Jan 10, 2018
Susan Urban's method ROCKS :-) NEW
by: Sharon

It's only been a couple of nights, but Wow what a difference already! Thanks girls for mentioning this guide. I feel like it saved my life!

Jan 19, 2018
another vote for Susan Urban's guide NEW
by: Anonymous

Great read, it worked BRILLIANTLY on my son!

Jan 28, 2018
In reply to it "may" be the food NEW
by: Anonymous

Are you kidding me? It is not about the food what so ever. You must have everything fresh. Meaning, you have your own garden that you water/feed day in and day out. I'm sorry, but that was the most ridiculous response. You must be the parent of the century!

Mar 27, 2018
In the same boat NEW
by: Colesmommy

My son has always been a poor sleeper. He's 3.25 right now and I feel so bad for him. He is awake every couple hours. He doesn't bother me at night or come get me but I hear him at night wiggling and fussing to himself. I am a light sleeper. I'm lucky he doesn't require anything from me at night but unfortunately his lack of sleep turns him into a zombie during the day. By noon he can barely function. I will lay him down for a nap but he fights it so hard and if I nap him he wants 3 hours and he won't go to sleep until 11 or later. He gets less sleep if he naps then if I skip it. Co sleeping never works as he requests to leave and go back to his bed. He's a cuddle bug during the day but is so restless at night and doesn't want to be touched. Nobody sleeps if he is in bed with us. I don't know what to do. I fear his lack of sleep is effecting his development. I wish he would sleep better.

Jun 10, 2018
why wait?! NEW
by: Rosella

Wow, girls, why you wait so long without proper sleep for yourself?! I’ve tried this Hold With Love method as soon as my baby turned 4MO and it worked great. I cannot even remember waking me up at night anymore! You should definitely try ASAP!

Jan 14, 2019
Any answers? NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm sat just outside his room.. my back to him.. ignoring him.. apparently it's called the disappearing chair...
So when I move he will either wake up or be awake anyway in 3 hours and I'll have to sit here again for half an hour..
Please help.. my little boy is 2

Feb 01, 2019
I am noticing similarities NEW
by: Anonymous

Since so many of these children are similar age I have to wonder if they are all being exposed to the same thing? What do all children get around 2-3 years of age? The same vaccine maybe? You are doing your job trying to be a good parent and part of that is following a government vaccine schedule. This may not be everyone's cause, but may be something some of you want to look into. Look up vaccine injuries. Maybe your child got lucky and has only a mild reaction to an injection? Try to find detoxifying remedies. Strawberries are known to flush metals from the body. Charcoal is a good one (look for "colic calm" or "tummy calm"). Be your own advocate and dont let any homeopathic Dr drain your savings account either! I am not an expert. I'm just seeing a lot of similar stories and wondering what the common link may be...

Mar 04, 2019
abnormal sleep/wake cycles NEW
by: Anonymous

hey all, I have a 3.5yr old who co-slept and breastfed until 3yrs old. In her own room since 3rd birthday. She has never slept longer than 2hrs at a time, sometimes its only 20mins. I am strict and tell her to ger bk into bed when she wakes screaming in fits for me. I do not go to her. I either shout from my room or downstairs. I do not want to be shouting at her but I have tried everything else. When she goes to her aunt's to sleep over she sleeos ALL night or will only wake once. Strange thing is she had two seizures, one at 7months and one at 18months. While being tested for epilespy that waa thankfully not found, her neurologist found she had an 'abnormal sleep/wake cycle' during a 3 day EEG. She also has sleep myoclonus which makes her have constant hypnic jerks throughout the night. Some large enough to waken her and explained to me to be as painful as an electric shock. She also had sleep apnea of up to 6 seconds but apparently needs to be 10seconds before it is considered true apnea. It is non obstructive. She disturbs me and her older siblings every night and does not nap at all during day. She is now discharged from neurology with a diagnosis of 'parasomnia' 'sleep myoclonus' and 'abnormal sleep/wake cycle'. Whether her brain doesnt allow her to sleep I need my sleep. Almost 6months and she still not settling in her own room. The fact I know she can sleep all night in her aunt's or at least still constantly wake and stay in bed and not disturb anyone is the only thing making me persevere and not bring her back to my bed. My 3 older sons have autism and insomia and take melatonin. It helps them get asleep and stay asleep. Melatonin does not work for my daughter. I am praying through time she will sleep better but I highly doubt it. She is awaiting a sleep study, think its called a PEG test or something like that but the waiting list is 2yrs and its been about a year. Just thought I would share this as it can be to do with brain activity rather than soft parenting or diet as some people have tried to suggest. I feel for each and every one of you coz dealing with this for 3.5yrs myself as a single parent has been horrendous. Maybe going to docs requesting sleep studies might help some of you. Goodnight to all. Hopefully get 2hrs here as she has just went back to bed for the second tine since 8pm :/

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About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

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The Stanford Sleep Book

Stanford Sleep Book Picture

Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

Important Disclaimer

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.