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My Daughter Cannot Sleep Alone, She Is Now 13

by Anonymous

My daughter has such anxiety about sleeping alone, she panics every time we "make" her sleep by herself. When she finally falls asleep with someone lying down with her, she is up within an hour checking to see if someone is still there. It is not restful sleep.

She claims she has awful dreams when she sleeps alone. We had her sleeping on a mattress in our room, which she did fine as long as one of us were going to bed at the same time as she was going to bed. We don't know what to do, she has a true anxiety about this and you can see her fear when she even thinks about sleeping by herself. She is able to sleepover at her friends houses and she has friends sleepover, as long as they are sleeping with her.

We have discussed talking to someone, she states "Im not crazy" I don't need to talk to some stranger. She is very bright and does phenomenal in school.

We need help.

Comments for My Daughter Cannot Sleep Alone, She Is Now 13

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Jan 05, 2011
I can relate
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. My daughter is only 8 and feel we are headed on the same path your daughter is already on. We have taken our daughter to see her pediatrician and to a psychiatrist with no help. We have tried everything. I do give her melatonin, but that just makes her fall asleep, it does not keep her asleep. she constantly is in a state of panic when she awakens at night. When she does stay at friend's house she tells me that she is up all night and afraid to tell someone she is scared. I wish you luck on your journey to good sleep.

Jan 08, 2011
Thank you for your response
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your response, it makes me feel better knowing others are in the same boat. I did speak to a friend whose daughter is in high school and has similar issues, she did grow out of it. So, Im hopeful!!

Feb 20, 2011
So we are not alone
by: Anonymous

We are having the same trouble with our 8 year old. We are at our wits end with it as our 5 year old son sleeps by himself and goes to sleep on his own.
I can see the fear in her eyes and she just cries and begs us not to leave her. She falls asleep with one of us sitting with her but within an hour or two she awakes and climbs silently into our bed.
She is desperate to have her best friend sleep over but we don't want to risk the night dramas that might happen.

Mar 08, 2011
I used to be that daughter that couldn't sleep!- it will pass
by: Anonymous

I am 21 year old in college and its funny because i am studying for a test for my early childhood major, but i just felt like it would be helpful to ease your minds on the sleeping issue... you see i was exactly like that. It started when i was around eight and lasted up until i was 11/12 I was for some reason terrified to be ALONE and the only one AWAKE in the house. I was in bed by nine thirty / ten nightly and i would try so hard to fall asleep before my dad would go to bed which was at 11 everynight. When i heard him turning the lights and tv off i would start to panic. i have no idea why i was so anxious about it now but it was really hard on my parents and me. However by age 12 i started to get more independent i think alot of things changed just due to maturation. around this time i began and loved to talk to my friends on the phone, luckily my parents were very cool about this (plus we had caller ID so they would know if i was talking too late and they knew who i was talking too hah)
it was like one day i just wanted to be alone and hangout with friends and would be annoyed by my parents, when before i couldnt sleep without them in my room! its crazy but trust me, once your daughter goes into that stage where popularity is the most important thing with a mind set that she is 'toooo cool' for you anymore, the problem will end!

Mar 08, 2011
I am hoping it will get better!
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the reassurance. I do hope my daughter will begin transitioning into her own room/sleeping by herself, to be more independent. Time will tell.

Jul 23, 2011
13 year old with anxiety about sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Hi i spend a lot of time researching this problem.My son is now 13, very confident popular boy, will go out anywhere with friends during the day until whatever time a long as he does not have to sleep anywhere. When he was 7 we went away for the night and left him with friends, he was unwell and very afraid i was not there, after that became very anxious about me leaving him. This improved but he has always had a fear of me leaving him at night. He likes me to stay up until he is asleep, i often lay with him and end up staying in his room all night, if we go on holiday he gets quite anxious about the room not having a tv, he feels better if the tv is on when he falls asleep. If i told friends of his problem they would be very shocked as he is such a confident boy, but it really gets him and us down as he misses out on school camp and sleepovers. I keep thinking i should seak professional help.

Aug 10, 2011
Yeah, she is sleeping!!!
by: Anonymous

I am happy to report that my daughter has been sleeping in her own bed/room now for 1 month. We allow her to keep the TV on as long as its muted and the brightness is lowered. We think eventually she will gain the confidence to shut the TV off. However, we are just taking it one step at a time. I am the original post and did feel so helpless, it is finally happening! Thanks for all your comments.

Aug 12, 2011
by: shjjdjkfjkjkfjflfldjhdjh

Hi. I'm turning 12 and I'm going through what you're daughters going through. I hate it. I can't sleep alone at all,yet I don't know why. I always need someone to sleep next to me. Trust me, it stinks.

Aug 15, 2011
13 year old son with sleep anxiety
by: Anonymous

Hi,intresting to read your comments, my son is the previous post, during the summer holidays i intended to get firm and sort it out but he has had a few nights where he has felt very anxious when going to bed, so i suppose its my fault to i just reassure him i will stay awake next to him until he is asleep. I no i have got to get tough with him and try and leave him to get to sleep on his own but i cannot face the anxiety it causes him at times. To the young girl that posted before...will you go on school over night trips, or to friends for sleepovers... my son will not and it really frustrates him that he cannot....

Aug 19, 2011
same issue. but mines almost 14!
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain, my grand daughter is almost 14 and she has no mum and dad and has had and awful past with drugs and abuse involved in the child hood. She is unable to sleep around her friends and can only sleep with me! If I was to make her sleep in her own room.. She will stay up all night crying like a baby, does anyone think this could be because of her past? Or she has mental issues?

Aug 21, 2011
I feel for you all....
by: Anonymous

I think it is a "true" anxiety and as the previous girl who is 12 posted, she hates it. I do think the kids really want to sleep by themselves but have such such anxiety. I think that a lot of things play into it, not any one particular thing specifically. I really think it evolves and in time works out, but that it is just a lot of support by the parents/grandparents and reassurance to the child that there is nothing wrong with them, a lot of kids have this issue and in time it will work itself out. It takes a lot of patience on the part of the parent/grandparent. I feel for you all, but am happy to say that my daughter is doing ok right now and is sleeping alone. One day at a time.

Aug 31, 2011
My daughter can not sleep alone
by: Anonymous

She is an outgoing regular kid by day and by bed time the whole family becomes fustrated by her sleep demands.
She has a medical history which I do belive adds to her sleep anxiety.
We have not sought Therapy and medication would be out of the question.I'm hoping things will change with time but it seems the more we give in the worse it becomes.
she shares a room with her sibling but still requires someone right next to her!

Sep 25, 2011
by: Anonymous

I have a 8 year old and feel so reassured that I am not alone, she has nver stayed asleep all night since day one, she is 1 of 3 children the other great.
We have got her to go to sleep, sharing a room with her younger sister but every night she wakes up and goes next to me and falls fast asleep and if im not there she will seek the house for me, I so need sleep, it realy effects the whole family.
Thank you for your encouragement knowing I am not alone as when you talk to other parents they tut.

Sep 25, 2011
I have this problem too
by: Anonymous

hi, i am 13 and i have the same issue. i am terrified of sleeping alone. i dont care to sleep alone at mothers house, but at my dads house, i cant sleep by myself. i dont know why but i think it is so scary because no one knows what i am going through and they dont understand how hard it is. i wish i didnt have this problem but whenever my dad mentions me sleeping alone, i start crying and begging him not to make me sleep alone. i sleep at the end of my dad and stepmothers bed every night i am there. :( please help i dont know what to do...

Sep 29, 2011
To the 13 year old :
by: Anonymous

I feel your anguish. Don't feel like there is "something wrong" with you just because you have this anxiety. There is nothing wrong with you and I promise it will get better. You will eventually be able to sleep alone. If its the room at your Dad's house that makes you "scared" then try and identify what it is in the room that scares you, for example- noises, listen to them and figure them out, so that when they occur while you are alone in the room you can tell yourself, "oh yeah that is just..... nothing to be afaid of." Also, if its spaces in the room- confront them before bed so you know all is clear. I will check my daughters closets for her before she goes to sleep. Lastly, calm/relaxing music and reading always help the mind unwind. Just know, it will get better and you will sleep in your own bed at some point, its a process but it will happen. There is nothing wrong with you. Don't be discouraged.

Oct 19, 2011
HELP! I can't get my daughter to sleep alone!
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem with my daughter. She is 12 years old, super popular cheerleader, always on the go; however, when bedtime comes, it's BAD!!! She slept alone until this past summer and NOW she wants to sleep in my floor or she'll insist on staying with her dad. I would never take time away from she and her dad, however, he allows her to sleep in the same room. I don't agree with this at all! Can someone please tell me what to do or how to fix this daily nightmare???

Oct 19, 2011
In response to your 12 yr old daughter
by: Anonymous

Due to the fact that it just started over this past summer and she was sleeping alone prior to that, just fine. I think what I would suggest is to try and identify with her the very moment that she started this fear and what had was leading up to that moment. If there is nothing you can pinpoint, the realty is she is fearful- its a valid fear, as much as you don't want her in your room, she doesnt either. But its an overwhelming fear. Its so hard as the parent to see such anguish. However, it does work itself out. It really does, the only thing that baffles me about your daughter is that she was fine up until this past summer. I would really look for a source of the fear. It may be something you could easily identify and work through. Good Luck and hang in there, it really does get better.

Oct 23, 2011
Im 13 and Im terrifies to be alone @ night!!!
by: Anonymous

Hi I am 13 and am terrified to sleep by myself! I hate it. My parents have tried so many things to help me. Im so scared I cant even be in a room alone @ night by myself. I just have a mattress in my parents room where I sleep every night.
I feel like such a baby :( but some of your comments help me know i am not alone thank you!!!

Oct 30, 2011
To the 13yo struggling with sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Please know that you are definitely NOT ALONE. I bet there are friends that you have who also struggle with this issue. You just are not aware ot it. It will pass, I promise. You just need to keep trying and don't get down on yourself. One of these days, you will see its ok to be in your room and you are ok at night. Keep trying. It will happen.

Nov 07, 2011
I am the original thirteen year old
by: Anonymous

My mom just shared this blog with me,that she started and i would like to tell you my feelings. I had struggled with the problem for almost 8 years. It made me feel like something was wrong with me every single time i had to go to bed at night and couldn't stay in my room. I cried every night to my parents and had to beg them to let me sleep on the floor in their room no matter how long it took to persuade them to let me. Eventually there was something that came over me that made me feel comfortable enough to stay in my room all night. It took a while for me to fall asleep when i first started, but it started getting better each night. I started over the summer, and so it didn't matter to me when i fell asleep, but there was something telling me that i needed to do it. Whenever i couldnt do it, i felt like there was something wrong with me and theres NOTHING wrong with any of you with this problem. You will eventually get through this issue, even though it may take sometime to do so. It took me years to get over the fear but i have been sleeping alone without a problem for about 5 months now. good luck, it'll happen someday.

Nov 23, 2011
Sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

I just want to say that this is not a big problem. It is inconvenient but not a problem. And, the child is fine, they just
Feel so safe with someone beside them that whe they are alone there is a void and it is a fear of getting scared.

The fears are irrational, usually images and thoughts created in the imagination. Ceative people can be affected by this.
I am 41 years Old now and my son is dealing with the same
Problem. I am very understanding because I had the same anxiety and I was well into my teens before I was able to outgrow it. And that is exactly what happened, eventually I just outgrew it. But it took a long time to feel completely comfortable.

Parents, relax there is nothing wrong with your child, they just have a soft heart, treasure it, they will be grown up and out of the house in the blink of an eye.

Child do not be ashamed and be proud and celebrate all your other strengths, soon you will be strong enough to conquer this obstacle, but don't rush, you will know when you are ready.

In closing I just want to say, work on the strength of your mind by looking forward, whe you start thinking of the things that frighten you, force your mind to think forward to the morning and the activities of the next day.

Nov 28, 2011
by: yfeemom

Thank you all so much for the comments! I of course "Googled" how do I convince my 11 yr old daughter to sleep alone & this was the blog that I found. yay me! My patience are running really thin now with this deal & these comments have been really helpful!! My daughter has expressed that she is truly scared. We have told her to leave the light on, tv, etc. We have promised major rewards but she still won't sleep all night by herself. Funny thing is...she can sleep by herself in the early morning hours say from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. by herself....just not all night. For my sanity I just stopped trying to get up after she falls asleep at night. Thanks again, I will pass this info. to my husband & tell him we are not alone!

Nov 30, 2011
My soon-to-be 15 year old daughter can't sleep alone
by: Lynn

I just googled in "my daughter can't sleep alone" and came across this site. Until last May, my daughter always slept alone. Just before year end exams she said she watched "Paranormal Activities" with the kids at school and has been unable to sleep alone since that viewing. At first I thought it was anxiety about upcoming exams, but those came and went and the problem has continued. Her therapist suggested only allowing her to sleep on my floor which she did last night after a major meltdown at 12:30am. The last thing she said to me around 1am was "I'm so sorry" which broke my heart. Her inability to sleep is affecting her health and her mood and I am exhausted. Is it better to let her sleep in my room and if so - in my bed, on the couch, on the floor??? I have stayed in her room - either lying next to her or sitting in a chair. However, within 30 minutes of my leaving she finds her way to my room. I just don't know the right thing to do. I will show her the blog tonight - maybe that would help

Dec 09, 2011
son has anxiety
by: son has anxiety

I have this issue with my son he has anxiety all the time, and takes medicine for it. I really think it is his anxiety that makes it so he cannot sleep. My husband thinks this is awful. I have gone from sleeping with him, to him sleeping on the floor in my room. If I am with him he will sleep all night. If I am not he will be awake all night. I say what ever I am tired- but my husband insists that he sleep alone. Ugh my four year old has no problems, which makes it harder to explain to my husband. Does anyone have suggestions on things that work. If I put him to sleep in his room he will wake up and come into my room. Tonight we decided that he needs to sleep in his room, so we will see how the night goes- I imagine this is not going to be good!

Dec 11, 2011
I am the original blogger
by: Anonymous

In reponse to what to do, I feel in retrospect that the best thing to do is allow them to sleep on the floor in your room. After all that anguish and my daughters tears, it worked out when I just let it go. When I said, fine sleep in my room on the floor, she did. I continued to say, "what will help you sleep in your own room at night?" There were times she had ideas and other times the answer was "nothing". The child truely wants to sleep in their own room, they really really do, it takes a lot of patience from the parents. The child WILL eventually sleep in their own room. As you can see by this blog, this is much more common than you may have thought. I would share this with your spouse and your child. Because its sooooo important for your child to know that this is common, they are not "abnormal". It will happen!

Dec 11, 2011
i know what its like
by: Anonymous

im so glad im not the only one my 12 year old daughter still sleeps with us to but when we bring up the topic she gets md

Dec 21, 2011
my son is nearly 13 and won't sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I'm so glad i'm not alone with this son is nearly 13 and a confident, popular boy during the day but when it comes to bedtime he just won't sleep alone...i've taken him to my GP who said he WILL grow out of it and gave him medication to help him but to no avail..I blame myself as breastfed him as a baby and used to put him into bed with me during the night to feed him where we always fell to sleep...we've tried everything.... decorating his bedroom several times to make it feel comfortable....and to wat he wants, we've left the tv on and music but nothing works...I have a 10 year old daughter who has never had any problems with sleeping...he really, really panics when it comes to bedtime and you can see the anxiety on his face and that really really he does want to sleep alone but just can't....I really don't know what else we can try as we seemed to have tried everything for him...but he always just says I don't like being alone and want comfort.... :-) <3 xx

Dec 22, 2011
To the Mom of the 13yo struggling with sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Please don't blame yourself. Your son will grow out of this issue. I did not breast feed my daughter and she had this issue. I did breast feed my son, he is fine sleeping alone. So, I don't think there is a link there.
In regards to my daughter, we tried everything-changed her room about 5 times, tried rewards-items, money, privelages,etc... nothing worked. Finally, over school break I said to her, why don't you try sleeping alone again. My daughter is an all A's student, well adjusted, confident. By waiting for the school break, it took away the anxiety of "having" to fall asleep because school was the next day. This way she could just fall asleep whenever and not have to wake up a special time the next day. Well, it finally worked she is 14 now and sleeps alone. I must say, she doesnt love it- but will do it. As she did it more and more, she felt more comfortable. So, keep trying and he will sleep alone, just takes a lot of patience on parents part and reassurance to the child-they are normal and as you can see, a lot of kids have this issue. Who wouldnt with this crazy world we live in- just turn on the evening news and its scary! Hope this helps:)

Dec 22, 2011
An Idea??
by: Lynn

Has anyone tried hypnotism for this issue?

Dec 24, 2011
I am the same
by: Anonymous

It is horrible. I am 11 and I have had this prob scine i was 8. I have had to sleep with my mum because i try really hard when i am on my own and i just think to myself oh my god i am the only one awake then I break down and cry. It started when i had to sleep with my brother because we had guests in our house for a while. Then i got used tO sleeping with someone. I hope there is a chance for me to be normal again.

Dec 25, 2011
To the 11yo above
by: Anonymous

YOU ARE NORMAL!! Really, this is a very common issue, not a "problem". You absolutely will grow out of it. Continue to try different options about sleeping alone- especially on school breaks, so you don't have anxiety about not getting enough sleep for school. Eventually, you will be able to do it without crying and you will see that it gets easier and easier. Don't feel like you are abnormal, look at all the people in this blog alone, thats just the tip of the iceberg. Hang in there, it will happen!

Dec 27, 2011
I Have The Same Problem
by: ...

I turned 12 in September and i thought i would be able to sleep alone by this time, apparently I was wrong. I slept with my sister though out all the years but this year she is going off to university and I just can't seem to be able to sleep alone I dont know y that is. When I small I was breastfed and I slept with my mom. When I was about 8-9 yrs old my dad told me to go to bed and just say to myeself "I will sleep alone" about 20 times I was fine and I convinced myself to seep alone at that time but now that I'm 12 I just can't. I thought I was abnormal to have this problem but now I know that i am not the only person and I constantly search " How to make a 12 year old sleep alone" on google but I never get a proper solution.
But Thank You All For Making Me Feel Like I'm Not Alone in this.
PS: My parents have tried alot of different things but nothing seems to work with me

Jan 04, 2012
To the lady from Italy
by: Anonymous

I think you are doing everything you can, the most important thing is to support her. It is an anxiety, she will get through it. She really will, she just needs to keep trying and as long as she feels you are behind her supporting her, she will get there. By you supporting her it just reduces the angst she already is feeling. The kids want to sleep alone, they just get overwhelmed with fear. Keep the lines of communication open and it will happen. I use to crawl into my sisters bed when I was in High School if I was scared. My daughter doesnt have a sister, so she comes to me. Thats ok. It absolutely will get better. It really will.

Jan 05, 2012
can anyone give me advice
by: Anonymous

i've been having problems with my daughter sleeping for years. she is 14 this year and still needs me to be with her until she fulls asleep she doesn't like anyone being asleep before her. she has done sleepovers and school holidays with a few tears!She gets frustrated if she cannot get to sleep and then messes around for attention this can last 2 hours. I have seeked medical advice but nothing works will this ever 10 year old is now copying her behaviour.

Jan 05, 2012
In response to your 14 yr old
by: Anonymous

Its probably going to happen real soon, that she will begin to sleep alone. I think as they enter high school years they begin spending more time in their rooms and inevitabley get more comfortable in there. We too had tried pretty much everything from sleeping on the floor in her room, to allowing the dog to sleep in her room, we changed her room around, we allowed the TV on which she does keep doing now. She mutes it and turns the brightness to low. Its kind of like a big night light. I check her closets for her before saying good night, we go through a routine where she will ask if I locked all the doors. I then say good night. So far, its working. She would prefer to sleep in my room on the floor and occasionally I let her. But she is doing great now. Keep trying whatever makes your child feel safe and take baby steps, you will get there.

Jan 05, 2012
by: annie from italy

Thank you all for making us feel not so alone. It was a revelation for my daughter to find out she was not alone. Do you think it would be good for the kids to share their experiences with each other? Just a thought. Even though we live in Italy we all speak fluent english

Jan 05, 2012
Hypnotism Anyone?
by: Anonymous

My 15 year old daughter developed a fear of sleeping alone 6 months ago. She claims it was due to having watched a movie called "Paranormal Activity" with her friends. I believe the issue relates to a high level of anxiety over a host of issues. She is fine with sleep overs because there is someone else in the room. But she cannot sleep alone. Even if she falls asleep in her room she always wakes up and comes to my room. A friend suggested hypnosis. My daughter's therapist didn't see any harm. Just wondering has anyone ever tried hypnosis?

Jan 05, 2012
I need help
by: Anonymous

I feel your alls pain im 11 going to turn 12 in just a few months and some nights i just lay there awake and everyso often i look over at the clock to see what time it is i see its 10:30 so i get nervous and ty to go to sleep so after what i think is 10 minutes of not being able to go to sleep i look over at my clock to see that it it 11:00 and i have school the nextday THEN I START TO PANIC and so i get my stuff from my bed and go sleep on my moms floor and some times i just lay there and cry and sometimes i just fall right to sleep and i just dont know what to do and how to get out of this weird sleeping pattern please help me anyone please!!!! :'(

Jan 06, 2012
Mum of 13 year old boy ...
by: Anonymous

Hi again im from the eariler the mum who suggested maybe we should get the kids talking i think this would be good for them...i find this site a great help...all the kids have the same pattern and its so good to no there is a good chance they will grow out of it...but if any of you mums are like me a lot of nights i just let him sleep in our room because i am to tired to go through the routine of him trying to stay in his room then about midnight comeing in anyway..then hes upset because he has failed . Hes saying he would like to try and stay at a friends house but he needs to stay in his own room first. Thank god we are not alone..thanks for all the advice it really helps x

Jan 06, 2012
In reference to above
by: Anonymous

In reponse to the comment above, I think when the child starts spending more alone time in their room its definitely a start. I find the best time to "work on" trying to have them sleep alone is on the weekends or school break. There is just too much anxiety on the childs part and the parents to try on a night when you know they have to be up in the morning. So, I did allow my daughter to sleep on the floor in my room without even attempting for her to sleep alone in her room on the nights she had school the next day. I would always ask her to try on the weekends/breaks from school. It did just eventually happen, in retrospect she did spend more alone time in her room prior to the breakthrough. Now its not ideal but she does it, she would still prefer to sleep in my room but can sleep in her own room. I occasionally let her sleep on my floor now but not consistently because I don't want to lose the ground we gained. Now I have my 10yo son sleeping on the floor. I think he is just mirroring his sister, its not as much of an anxiety for him like it was for his sister. Bad habit, is more like it for my son. Im just too tired to keep trying so Im waiting on him.

Jan 08, 2012
13 year old
by: Anonymous

My 13 year old daughter is like all the other children described here. She has a real anxiety about going to sleep and being awake when we are asleep. She wont go on sleep overs. She shares a room with her 10 year old brother and will go to sleep if we are up but sometimes is afraid she wont get to sleep in time so frets. We have told her she can't sleep on the floor in our room anymore. We have told her it is the thoughts in her mind that is making her scared and that they will eventually go away but she has to try to think of nice things. I have told her that is ok to be awake when everyone is asleep. I wake up every night and am awake for sometimes over an hour and I am ok. that seems to soothe her a little. Can anyone tell me what they have done to help their kids get over this?

Jan 09, 2012
mum of 13 year old boy
by: Anonymous

Im the mum of the 13 year old boy in the above comments.To the post above, i have no answers for you, but i am finding these posts a help that we are not alone. My son is a very confident boy who does very well at school, but ths issue in his life really gets him down, he even gets anxious if we go on holiday about the sleeping arrangements so i feel like not bothering again until we have this sorted, but i cannot see an end to it..i am considerng seeing a therapist..but do not want to make more of an issue of it. Also he would love to go on school trips and feels really embrased when he is the only one in the class who does not go....He has had this problem for about 5 years.

Jan 13, 2012
I was that kid - my story..
by: Natalie

Dear all, as I was reading this I felt the urge to share my experience with fear of being alone, because I used to be that kid. Now I am also a mother and can share both sides. Please note, that I am not a psychologist.....

I didn't sleep alone until the age of 13. My mom slept in my bed until then - you can imagine the marriage problems my parents encountered through this. When I turned 13, my grandmother died and my mother went to Thailand for the funeral. So, there I was, alone with my Dad and 2 sisters. I was terrified, didn't know how I can survive 2 weeks without my mom. It was a hard awakening. During that time I've substituted my mom through listening to music and the radio, that actually really did help.

I think the cause of this fear, at least in my case, starts in early childhood. My mom told me when I was 2 or 3 I wouldn't go to sleep and cried for hours if she wouldn't have stayed with me. The thing is, she gave in, which I think was the problem. Children that age are trying to see how far they can go. If you give in, they'll get used to not being alone at night and once they reach a certain age, it is hard to get out of that habit, harder than at age 2 or 3. Eventually your child will have to sleep alone someday, right?

Now that I am a mother myself, this is what I did and it worked great-
It will be a couple rough nights during early childhood, but the child will learn to love sleeping in its own bed and that it is normal and okay. My daughter is having her own room since she is one. I used a baby camera all along the way. She tried to get me to sleep with her until she fell asleep, and actually, as a full-time working mother, it was hard to not give in because I needed my sleep. I stuck to it, and had one week of tough, but after that it hasn't been an issue since. I always told her that if she is scared or something is up, she can always come to us, and I left the light on in the hallway and told her every day that there is nothing to be scared of. Being calm and looking confident in what you say or do is a big deal to children as they trust you in case of their safety.

To those of you who have issues at the moment, maybe try to find a soothing substitute. Like music, or audio drama, leave a little light on in the bedroom and hallway. When my mom left, my Dad bought a kitten... I totally owned that kitten, she slept in my room, I think that also helped. She slept in my bed and I liked to feel her warmth . If it is a habit you need to break, try moving furniture, buy new bedding, or even a new bed. Good luck to you all and remember, this problem WILL solve itself with time if none of it works :)

Jan 16, 2012
Another 11 year old , that can not sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I am another parent having this same issues , sleepless nights , I started sleeping between my two daughters to keep them from talking to each other all night,now my oldest will not sleep alone , when she is sleeping and i getup she tells me ,where you going total panic , its hard on me and my husband . am not alone on this .wow this is hard .I hope we can make it.but thank you for assuring me its common.

Jan 26, 2012
Comment from Christians Mum

First of all sorry for putting the comment up 3 times, its the first time I've been on a blog site. Christian wanted me to say some of my story. I think that he felt a bit better reading the other blogs and seeing that he isn't the only one going through this (stage). I say this is a stage because I really have hope that he will grow out of it, even though it has gone on for so long. and after reading a few of the stories on here it gives us even more hope.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster and I hope that we are at the last hurdle as we have been through so much. He said to me tonight that he wishes he was normal and didn't have this problem and that when he grows up he will walk the streets at night and be the only one awake. He says he wants to move to New York, why?(the city that never sleeps). Like alot of the other children on this blog he is a popular boy and does well at school, although in the last year I think it has effected his school work. He is very caring & senstative with a great deal of empathy and often says why do I feel sorry for too many people Mum? He simply can't switch off his brain at night and just worries that he won't sleep. We recently saught help with 'Cams' and he is now (reluctantly) been put on meds for anxiety at night but we will be taking him off them because they haven't made a difference other than make him emotional and suppress his appetite. In the mean time we just keep going, praising him when he has a good night and trying not to loose it when he has a bad night. next step we think we will try hypnotherapy, fingers crossed what have we got to loose.

Jan 27, 2012
writing helps
by: annie from italy

well the writing seems to be helping.. if I hang out in her room a bit before she falls asleep she can now get through most nights. I was wondering about giving kids meds though. In Italy they don t medicate kids as easily as they do in the united states. for teens our osteopath/homeopath gave us magnesium which sort of relaxes the muscles. maybe you should check with your local health food store. well my daughter will write this weekend
all the best from italy

Jan 29, 2012
by: Anonymous

I knwo exactly what your daughter is going through. I'm 13, and I cannot fall asleep by myself! I'm just too scared. Its weird, because I was able to sleep by myself before but now I can't. I have to take Benedryl every school night to be able to fall asleep! And sometimes the benedryl doesn't even work! My grandparents says its because of everything I have gone through, but honestly I'm not so sure. we have tried talking to doctors, but nothing works. I'm really confused!

Jan 30, 2012
by: Anonymous

Hi, this blog has helped me understand that we are not alone. My daughter is 7yo from divorced parents. My ex wife was married shortly after our diverce and my daughter has always slept alone in her mothers house. On the contrary I've always been very cautios in sharing my daughter experience with other artners until I felt some stability. During that time she slept in the same bed with me and shared very good moments and a strong bond. Last year I met a fantastic woman Whom I feel is the one. We have been living toghether for the past 5 months and have tried to persuade my daughter to sleep in her own bed liitle by little. We have good days and very bad days, with nothing in between. We've rearranged her room, new bed, new bedding, new paint. Have promised her a cat if she stays roughly 5 nights in bed, but with no luck. It is very fustruating. And although it is not dampering the relationship with my new fiance, I'm very concerned this will continue.

Jan 31, 2012
To the blog above
by: Anonymous

It probably will continue. The reality whether you met this great woman or not, she would still be sleeping with you. Be careful because to her she is going to feel "replaced". I know its difficult but I think you have your hands full because its going to be a very sensitive area having a new lady in the house. They may have a great relationship but be careful about kicking her out of your room at this time. You may want to wait not even approach the issue for a little while then delve into the subject and have a plan. But give her time to adjust to the new situation. It will happen, but you will need to be extremely patient.

Feb 23, 2012
i was the same
by: Anonymous

I understand you. I had the same problem as your daughter does. I was bright at school and life was normal. I had that problem since I can remember, I don't think I slept by my self as a baby, toddler, etc. I stopped sneaking into my mom's bed when she started snoring. Then I started sneaking into my sister's bed but she had no patience and pushed me right out. I convinced my self that sleeping in my bed was more confortable than sharing the bed with someone that snores. I was also afried of (unreal) things but was so afried of it I didn't even dare to say what I was afriad of. Whatching XFiles thinking it was real didn't help me much either.

Feb 25, 2012
to 13 year old who is ok now

How did you get over this problem? Did you just decide everything was going to be ok one day? Was it a difficult transition? I would really like to know the details of how you got over this so I might be able to help my daughter get over this? She is 13 now and just as you described yourself. She is terrified she will be the last person asleep in the house.

Mar 01, 2012
In reference to above
by: Anonymous

I cannot express enough to you, as much as it seems like this will never end, it will. Your son or daughter will figure it out. They will sleep in their own room. They will be able to go to college and be away in their own space. It will get better, my daughter is still doing well now after almost 1 year of sleeping on her own. I am the original blogger. So, there is hope and it will get better, just lots of patience and reassurance:)

Mar 10, 2012
In reference to above
by: Anonymous

I think in regards to your son,I would try and identify with him- what it is that he think will happen if he doesnt fall asleep first. There must be some anxiety he is feeling. If he is afraid of losing his parent, he needs to identify that feeling and you can all work through it. It is a very valid fear. There are many books available to help you with that fear and working through it. I think once he works through the fear, he will probably be fine. Good Luck!

Mar 10, 2012
by: Anonymous

I have asked a number of times what worries him when he is panicked and he usually says that something might happen to me. He is very attached to me but lately he is worries when his dad is not home at bedtime (that was never too much of a issue). He is any only child , very sensitive. He has just started high school and the only issue so far was the camp which was last week. The school had assured me that he wasn't the only one not sleeping there. Unfortunately a teacher told him to toughen up and not be so selfish. This upset and he now feels guilty. I assured him that he wasnt selfish and he would get through this.
Can anyone suggest books.? Thanks

Mar 19, 2012
by: Ethan

Hi I'm 13 I had that problem and well I found out boy scouts helpt me or if it's a girl venture scouts which is like boy scouts but with boys and girls . You go camping evory month . Girls with girls boys with boys. Or join a sport

Mar 20, 2012
by: Anonymous

I am 10 and still afraid to sleep by myself one day my brothers freind was staying the night and my baby brother usally sleeps with me but he slep in my parents room cause the boys had to use his bed to sleep on cause they needed three beds and when i heard i freacked out and my parents were trying to tuck me in but i kept on crying it was so bad my brothers thretin to come in there and smack me and afer ihad my big tantrum my dad set me down and started talking to me and asked why i did that and i had no answer then i had to go to bed and i didnt sleep in my room i slep in my dads bedrrom floor and then the next week at counseling they asked me the same question why did u have tantrum like what were u thinking about first i said nothing then she put it in a easer way and i said i wasnt thiking about anything at all when i found this website now i know i am not the only one that doese this my dad thought i was crazy

Mar 20, 2012
by: Anonymous

Hey Im 11 and i used too be almost exactley like U! i did i for 3 yrs but i have gotten WAY better! i think its because u grow up! i sleeped wif mi mum and dad for like couple months then i went too mi own bed and sometimes they slept wif i have gotten better but i have a nightlight and a noise machine.(makes rain sonuds.)it mite help u relax and calm down!

Mar 20, 2012
^^^^^^To the above comments^^^^^
by: Anonymous

You are absolutely not crazy because you are afraid to sleep alone. Look at how many people struggle with this very same issue. I can absolutely guarantee you, that eventually you will be able to overcome this is issue. Hang in there, keep trying is key- keep trying different methods that make you feel safe and calm. Good Luck!

Apr 03, 2012
Im 13 and i cant
by: Anonymous

Im 13 and i still can not sleep alone in my own bedroom! I dont know whats wrong with me! I looked it up on the internet and the phobea of sleeping alone is called monophobea,please help somone..:'(

Apr 03, 2012
to above comment
by: Anonymous

First, there is nothing wrong with you. As you see from this blog, many kids of all ages deal with this issue.
I would first try and identify what it is that gives you anxiety about sleeping alone. Is it noises, is it darkness? whatever you identify, try and embrace it, say to yourself: I will check the closets, under the bed, any noise I am not familiar with, I will find out what it is, so that when you hear it again,you can identify what it is. If it is darkness, use a nightlight. Try and have calming music on if you can, water trickling/ wind blowing something relaxing. Try not to think of a million different scary thoughts, rather focus on one thing- repeating a positive verse in a song or bible verse or something that will allow you to relax your mind. You can do this, and you will- many many kids have this "issue", not "problem". It will improve and you will sleep alone, I promise!

Apr 09, 2012
im almost 12 and i cant stay over at a friends or sleep alone what is my problem
by: Anonymous

i dont know but i just cant sleep alone when im going to bed on my on i just think scary things and i frick out i dont know what to do.Ive done it before sometimes but my house too is very big and my parents bedroom is far away and if i scriam they wont here .when i stay over my tommi gets realy sore then i barf its very imbarising having this problem.pleas help what shuold i do¡¡¡¡

Apr 10, 2012
13 and i cant go to sleep help please?
by: a child.

I know, this might sound like the other comments above.. but oh well.
I'm 13 years old.. and I can't sleep by myself!
It sucks, of course.. I used to play really creepy games.. and look at real creepy videos when I was a wee bit younger (like probably 11.. or 12..), which I really shouldn't have done because now I can't go to sleep until 2 or 3 am, then I wake up after an hour.. then get extreamly scared and go into my parents room..I try sleeping with a nightlight ( yes very emberassing....) and that's not working so much.. when I close my eyes I see really creepy things.. I keep telling myself its fake.. cause that's all it really is but I'm still scared!! Please someone help? Please!!! :"(

Apr 11, 2012
Hang in There!!!
by: Anonymous

In regard to the "creepy visions", you should facing that fear, and what I mean is- first, keep telling yourself,"it is not real", "this will not happen", have a plan in place. Every night before bed, go through your spaces, do a check list and check everything that may give you the impression that you are not safe. Once you complete it, starting with relaxation- yeah it sounds goofy but it works. If you have soothing music, put it on. Get comfortable in your bed, close your eyes and start picturing a waterfall, or maybe a favorite place that you have seen or visited. Cute cuddly animals, envision yourself petting the baby animals. Get your positive image in your mind, then start taking nice slow deep breaths. Counting slowly on your exhale, 10-9-8-....... and then repeat. If that isnt effective, try repeating a positive verse from a song or the bible, something positive, over and over in your head. You will do this, you really will, you just have to keep trying!! Good Luck.

Apr 12, 2012
Mum of 13 year old boy....
by: Anonymous

Hi I have posted on this site twice some weeks ago, i was saying then about my concern that my son has had this fear for about 6 years, has a bed in our room, does not go on sleepovers , we also have issues when we go away ...can he still sleep with us,,,is there a tv in the room...this comforts him, well i wanted to share wiyh you that 2 weeks ago he asked to sleep at his friends house, i had a txt from him about 1am to say his tummy felt strange and he was scared as everyone was asleep but i reassured him and much to my delight he stayed all night. The last week we went to stay with friends on easter break and i was dreading him wanting to sleep with us, but he slept alone...with the tv on all night....but he did it. He is so chuffed and so are we to at last see some improvement. We are home now and he still wanys to stay in his bed in our room but said he will go in his own room when its school holiday!! I feel at last he will not be there forever, as other comments have said on this site "they will grow out of it" lets hope my son continues to improve, hes a lot less anxious about bed time in the laast few months.

Apr 12, 2012
To the Mum above
by: Anonymous

I am so happy to hear that about your son. It is so amazing how things can change in a day or two. I will tell you, my daughter still will come in my room, and beg to sleep on the floor but she is able to sleep in her own room, I make her because I don't want to lose what we gained.

Apr 14, 2012
Sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

I used to have that when I was little and my mum would have to air in my room and when she got up to leave I would be awake in a flash. The way I grew out of it was I really wanted to go on a residential school trip and one night I said to myself 'Right, you want to go on this trip so you've got to be able to sleep alone' and I found out I went to sleep fine! Also if you get her relaxed before she goes to bed, maybe a bath and hot chocolate and I found what helped me was having and extra matress and closing my door a little. It also helps to find out why she doesn't like sleeping alone and talking about it. Hope this helped!! :)

Apr 15, 2012
I dont know what to do
by: Anonymous

HI i am 13 almost 14 have the same problem this has been happening since i was about 8 what do i do???? I have tried the TV reading books everything!!! but i just sleep on my parents floor!!I am glad I am not alone it makes me feel a lot better that their are more people with this anxiety issue then just me

Apr 15, 2012
To the above comment
by: Anonymous

I really think the key is to keep trying, you are going to have to make an effort to chose to sleep in your own bed and at least try. Sometimes, its easier to sleep in your parents room on the floor, you feel safe and no worries. However, you are still safe in your room, you just don't realize it yet. You have to keep trying, try to make yourself feel comfortable, safe and you will overcome it. You really will, but it does take an effort on your part. It doesnt just happen. Even after you do conquer this fear and sleep all night in your room, its not easy. You have to just keep doing it, it will get easier. Don't give in to the fear, you can do this, really. Keep trying... You will do this, I promise!

Apr 16, 2012
17 and still cant sleep?!
by: Anonymous

hello i was wondering if anyone could help me , im seventeen years old and i still cant sleep no matter what i do if my mother or step dad are asleep before me my brain convinces me that someones in my home and then if im in the dark i keep pictureing someone poping there head round the door but then i get up and no ones there.
but then its a different story when my parents are awake i fall asleep straight away?.
ive just been reading all the previous comments and ive already been through the 'i want to be popular' stage and no change.
i dont really know how to use thia website so if anyone could help me please email me.

Apr 17, 2012
by: K

Now I don't feel as bad I'm 12 and half of the time I sleep fine in my bed but sometimes. I lie. There for hours trying to fall aslwelbutfkr some reason I can't no matter what. I dos be up. Half the nigh. Or I have to going my mom's room and sleep there just saying my parents are divorce. If tht matters at all

Apr 19, 2012
it's not as easy as you think.
by: Anonymous

hi, I'm a thirteen year old girl, and yes, I still can't sleep without my parents nearby. I can't go to sleepovers and I don't feel 'normal'. Any suggestions?x

Apr 24, 2012
It's not as easy as you think
by: Anonymous

To the girl who posted above, I know it isn't easy. My 13 year old is going through the same thing. Here are some of the suggestions we have found or tried: keeping a flashlight near and maybe a book, keeping her iPod by so she could listen to music if she wakes up, some people have talked about getting a noise machine that makes sounds of water or other soft sounds, keeping lights on in the house, some relaxation time without tv before bed or meditation, writing out your fears and really thinking about whether they are likely to occur, a warm drink of milk before bed. Another idea is visualization, when I was young I used to think of my bed as a safe island. Once I was in it with the covers up, it was all safe. Or think about putting your worries in a box under your pillow. Or think about a scary dream you have and give it a surprise more happy ending. Good luck, and know you are definitely not alone, there are lots of kids and parents working through this and it will get better.

May 03, 2012
My issue
by: Jessica

Im almost sixteen, my birthday is in July and I have an 18 year old brother. I have the same problem as the original 13 year old. Only problem is, Sleeping with my parents or in my parents room, having an animal sleep with me, or the tv on doesn't help at all. I can only sleep if my brother is in the same room as me. This has been going on since I was 6. I want to know why I can only sleep if my brother is in the room with me.. Someone please help :/

May 10, 2012
To the 17 yr old and all the other scared kids
by: Anonymous

I have a 13 year old daughter who has the same problem as everyone else here. After searching on the web, I discovered a program based on cognitive behavioural therapy that I thought may help her. I bought it online and she has been listening to this and it is helping her. She has now moved from sleeping within arms reach of me to sleeping in the corridor where she can see me if she gets scared. she falls asleep in her own bed if we are awake when she goes to bed. The next step is to sleep on the couch around the corner but still close to our room if she gets scared. Step by step I believe she will get there. The catch with this program is that you have to want to get better, and you have to work at that and take it step by step. The child has to want to do it. I think the program is fantastic, because it is a self help program. I believe it is worth the money. This anxiety disorder problem is in your mind and the program helps deal with anxiety of all kinds and helps you to think differently and train these thoughts out of your mind. It is exactly what a psychologist would do with you but for little expense. It is called "Turnaround" There is a lot of information on the website for you to decide if you want to try it. It is not a mickey mouse program and was shipped promptly. Hope this may help a few of you out there.

May 13, 2012
Agree with the above
by: Anonymous

Absolutely I agree with the above comment, if the child is so anxious that they cannot sleep in their own bed they surely don't need the fear that they cannot access their parent because the door is locked! This will definitely increase the childs anxiety. I wish it was as easy as giving the child a teddy bear and for those that this technique works, thats great. But the fear goes much deeper for some children. It does take a lot of patience. The reality, the child will not be sleeping with you or in your room forever.

May 31, 2012
With a deadline in Puerto Rico
by: Anonymous

My 11 year old (future) stepson has shown an irrational fear at bedtime as well. In his case, we haven't even tried making him sleep in a separate room yet. We have been too busy getting him to sleep on a bed *next* to ours rather than with us. He's not even alone on that 2nd bed. His stepbrother and sister stay with him as a way to help him feel like he's not alone. After many months and the same routine every single night he's with us, we have finally convinced him to sleep on that bed next to ours, but even then, as night approaches, he still always asks if he can sleep with one of us. He'll ask me first, then later his dad, then asks the other kids to try and convince us.

What's particular about this case is that he has been asked time and time again why he thinks he's afraid of sleeping in a separate bed (let alone a separate room) and he always says he has no idea. We've tried and tried to get him to identify the source of his fear but all he can muster is that he's "used to" sleeping next to his mother or his grandmother (who both still let him do that, which does *not* help, but as much as we've talked to them about it and they agree, when he starts insisting, they always give in).

Here comes the deadline part. His dad and I are getting married in 45 days. We're taking the extra bed out of our room and are in the process of getting bunk beds for the boys in my son's room and putting a twin-size bed in his sister's room.

Ideally, we would like them all to be used to sleeping in their own rooms by the time we get married and he officially "moves in". His kids only sleep in our house about one or two nights every weekend. We think this is a good time to set our new family rules, bedtimes, etc. and this is a big part of it.

Other than bedtime, my stepson is active in several sports and is a happy, loving, healthy, well-developed kid.

This blog/forum has been such great help for so many, I'm hoping it can help us too! I'll share it with my (future) hubby.

With a deadline in Puerto Rico

Jun 03, 2012
we need sleep!
by: Wendy

We have just begun this awful journey with our 10 year old. We have 3 other children- 2 older and 1 younger and this has never happened before. She hyperventilates, screams, cries, and is certain there is someone in her brother's room or her sister's room. We have finally let her sleep with her sister....but a couple of nights ago, this no longer worked. Now she is on a mattress on our floor, but tonite, that is not working....she is sitting up, panicking that someone is in the house. She is waking us all up and we are at wits end. She is so fearful. We do not watch scary tv, we live in one of the safest towns in the US. Are there any doctors on this site that can explain this phenonomon? Does it coincide with puberty? Do drugs help? I am encouraged that we are not alone, however, the prospect of living like this for years is not good to me.....the past few weeks has sent our entire family into a tailspin. Any docs on this blog?

Jun 03, 2012
To the last 3 blogs
by: Anonymous

First off, I am the original blogger. It was my daughter who was 13 at the time and could not sleep alone. I feel your angst, oh do I. My daughter would get so worked up and it was so difficult. We did try everything, with the exception of medication. I never went that route. I didnt want her to feel like she had to rely on a medication to help her sleep. So, what worked, was pure perseverance. We just kept trying. She is fine now, she goes to sleep in her own room and sleeps through the night. However, she does have a check list that she goes through before she goes to bed. We have to make sure the doors are all locked, she checks her closets. It really helps to try and identify what the fear it, are they worried someone is going to come in the house. If so, show them each entry that you have locked. Show them the windows are locked. Then devise a plan, what they can do if they are frightened. Have a noisemaker, a flashlight, something they can use quickly to alert you. My son who is 10 is coming into our room now, he falls asleep to the TV in his room but wakes up in the night and comes in our room. We are using the summer to work on this, it really is the best time to work on it. This way you don't have the fear of them not getting enough sleep for school. So, take advantage of the summer. One person referenced, "tough love", I agree this doesnt work. These are valid fears, however you have to really guage what the fear is so you can conquer. Present ideas to the child that may help. Good Luck, once again it definitely will happen but unfortunatedly it may not be the time you would like it too. Be Patient:)

Jun 06, 2012
I was 12
by: Anonymous

Ok i did this i jut turned 13 and a few months ago i stopped sleeping with my mom i did it it was tremendesly hard but im fine , get her a nightlight bright, and if you have to a tv and advd player if you get those she can cuddle with stuffed animals and watch tv and get the instinkt someomes in the room with her!

Jun 07, 2012
Be a parent!!
by: Anonymous

I read some of these rediculous posts. Your seeking help when all you have to do is realize this.. 1) you should have been whoopin ass when they were little.. 2) your too soft and 3) you let your child get the best of you!!
There is no excuse why a 13 yr old should be sleeping with you if she can do everything else on his/her own.. I say tell their asses that you don't want a dam teenage baby sleeping in your bed..! It doesn't matter what someone goes thru.. If you want more sleep by yourself or simply a night to have your husband yourself then tell them your gnna whoop their ass if they don't straighten up... It sounds like your dealing with brats that get what they want right down where and how they want to sleep. I wish I would have my daughter cry to sleep with me!!

Jun 07, 2012
Bored? Uneducated?
by: Anonymous

To the previous comment. I have no idea why you ventured on to this blog.....seems to me you must somehow have misspelled "ignorant, uneducated fools" and wound up on this blog. Do not venture into a world you don't understand and are incapable of understanding. There may be a small percentage of parents on this site that got what they deserved catering, babying, or providing an inadequate environment for their child to bring on such a syndrome....but absolutely NO ONE benefits from your ridiculous rant that proves you have NO idea what you are talking about. Don't point a finger or judge lest ye be judged. Get off this blog and take your cheery little self somewhere else. I have no time to read your ridiculous input in my very busy day.

To an above comment. Tried your idea of taking her through the house as I locked windows and doors...talking about the day...not really drawing attention to the door locking. By the time we were done, she had already begun working herself into a panic. :( I guess it had to be tried, but I wont do it again.

I have met with a holistic doctor who increased the melatonin (natural) takes 2 weeks at a good dosage to begin to help....and I think it is. It is not a medication or addictive. At least the terrors and anxiety have "toned down" a bit...and she is falling asleep faster. Still waking at least 4-6 times a night, but performing well during the daytime....which never ceases to amaze me. Wishing you all a better night sleep...

Jun 08, 2012
by: Anonymous

comming from a child who has this same problem, its something more deeper than sleeping alone, i was too scared to admit it to my family but i have a fear of
being alone, and something happening when im alone, i try to go to bed alone at night but it is sooo terrifying, i get really bad anxiety, and if i finally fall asleep in my own room i sleep walk into my mom or my sisters room so you need to talk to her now and find out the root of the problem

Jun 18, 2012
I know what you mean
by: Anonymous

My daughter was afraid that someone was going to kid naP her. She finally started sleeping in her room when she was 11. Her friend had a fear of not being home and she couldn't sleep over, this made my daughter so mad after repeating the same process of her friend leaving at 10. One night her friend left she got so mad that she conquerd her fear of sleeping alone. To show that her friend should conqure her fear too. Now she is fine if I tuck her in.

Jun 23, 2012
me too!
by: Anonymous

I know how your daughter feels. I'm eleven years old and I have a really hard time slepping alone. My mom is tired of me telling her that I cant sleep. I do it every night and I am sick of it too! I want to be abutle to sleep in my own room by myself but I always seem to end up sleeping with my mom. I want help soo badly!

Jun 27, 2012
My experience
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm 28 & female - this will be posted in multiple parts :) I guess I have a lot to say but I hope it is helpful.

I have struggled with sleeping for as long as I can remember.
I would have the worst nightmares & I guess you would call them day dreams but they were at night while I was awake & couldn't sleep.
My parents were very loving but also raising 4 children & ran a tight ship. I was not allowed to sleep in there bed. When we became 6 weeks old then we were in our own room. I was the only girl & when I was approx 4??? My parents moved me out of the room with my brothers. I would cry at there door wanting to sleep with them - at first they let me & when it became an every night thing they told me I had to sleep in my bed & when I started to sleep outside the door of there room, little by little my dad made me sleep down the hall then little by little into my room..

Jun 27, 2012
28 female continued
by: Anonymous

Bc = because & sorry for all the misspellings - I was typing on my phone & typing too fast
Hope it was helpful ?
There are things in life that are hard & scare us but we can't let them win & steal our joy.
Be brave, understanding, & never give up even when it seems impossible.

Jun 28, 2012
Used to happen to me
by: Brooke

From 3-8, I could not sleep alone. My room was right next to my parents but I still couldn't even sleep in there. I once had a nightmare that felt like real life, it almost was. So I got scared to sleep alone. But my parents got a dog, and said if I would sleep in my own room, he could sleep with me. So I got over the fear and started sleeping by myself. At the beginning my parents would come in, and wait for me to fall asleep, then leave. Then soon enough they didn't have to anymore.

Jul 06, 2012
I kind of have the same issue
by: Kaitlyn

Hi. I kind of have the same problem. I am 11, almost 12, and I share a bedroom with my sister, whom is 13, alomst 14. When my sister goes to sleep overs at her friends house, I am KIND OF scared that nobody else is in the room with me. I don't cry and get upset, but I get scared. Usually I leave the TV on all night so I can sleep, or I wake up in the middle of the night and turn it off. I fell wweird that I get scared, but I'm glad that I don't cry like other people. I already have a problem that I cry when I don't understand someting in school or when I get frusrtated. Now my sister is going to sleep away camp for 2 weeks, so I will be alone for 2 weeks (I am probably gonna have like 3 or 4 sleep overs though) and I don't know what I will do. I guess I will keep the TV on for the whole night...
Also, when my parents go out to dinner, and leave my sisters and I alone, I always get scared that somebody is going to rob my house... I don't know why, but I feel like I hear creaks from downstairs...

Good luck to the kids who can't sleep at night at all unless they have somebody with them

Jul 08, 2012
thank you!! From Kent UK
by: Anonymous

I am so happy to have found this site!! My daughter is 9yrs and out of the blue is having real trouble sleeping!. I now sit beside her bed until she is asleep but she often wakes and we go through the same process again. I have tried to not make a fuss and just keep reassuring her its normal and can happen to anyone! She has mentioned the missing girl Maddy several times and I think kids in school have been talking about it and it has really worried her! I've tried to also make bedtime as stress less as possible when i sit with her i read to her until she is really sleepy and a friend reccommended a Bach sleep rescue that can be used for children and it really does seem to help. after reading these posts I know it may take time but I will just keep reassuring. but it so helps to know that other parents have the same problem with the same worries and fears for thier child. thank you.

Jul 09, 2012
I had the same thing
by: Anonymous

I'm twelve and had similar I slept with mom till I was like seven and then she bought me a new bed but I got nervous and couldn't sleep without her at about age nine she closed her door and locked it it worked but I cried for about twenty minutes after I had nightmares alot and was semi stressed about school

Jul 17, 2012
That thappend to me.
by: Anonymous

I use to have the same problem when i was 13 but now im 14 and it went away when we moved. I dont think its bad dreams i think it has something to do with something in her room or any other room because when i went out of my room i could sleep fine. But that might be just me. Try doing thing. When she is ready to go to bed go with her and when she falls asleep watch her eyes because if they move it means she is dreaming to having a nightmare and if they dont then i think it might have something to do with her room or the dark or mabe she needs a light on and the on and the T.V on low i hope this helps.

Jul 20, 2012
Please help
by: Anonymous

My daughter's about to be 10 my son is 12 and he can sleep by himself but my daughter can't she's been sleeping in my room for a little while but She really needs help sleeping by herself. So I would really like it if I found some comments to help me

Jul 20, 2012
9 year old

Im the 9 year old from the last comment I've been reading some of these and I'm really happy that there are a lot of other people with the same problems as me
But I really need comments to help me

Jul 20, 2012
To the 9 year old
by: Anonymous

HANG IN THERE!!! It really will happen, it is mind over matter. You are in control, don't think that noises/sounds or shadows control how you feel. You control how you feel. SO, take charge of it. Talk to yourself, you can get through the night. Take baby steps, tell yourself to at least try until such and such time, if your still awake then go in your parents room. But you must keep trying. And always remember, there is nothing wrong with you, this is a fear that a lot of children have... we have a scary world out there with some scary news on TV and the radio, its no wonder all you children are afraid. BUT you are bigger than your fear, just keep on trying!! You will conquer your fear.

Jul 24, 2012
i know how they feel
by: Anonymous

I know how she/He feels like i am scared to sleep alone with out somone in my house awake or somone sleeping next to me . i think its beacuse somtimes i have a feeling that is kinda scary and i somtimes dont tell my mom beacuse i think she will call me crazy so i keep it to my self. i would ask your children what they are scared of and try to help them not be scared of it and be sure to tell them that they are not the only ones with this problem i am almost 14 year old girl and i am still scared

Jul 25, 2012
I need help [please]:(
by: Anonymous

I have been sleeping whit my mom & dad since I was a baby and now that I have this urgency to mature and show everyone the I Can but it docent play out that way i just get terrified of the loneliness and the darkness please help.

Jul 26, 2012
to the person above
by: Anonymous

Don't fret it will happen. You will sleep on your own. You are use to sleeping with your parents and you should set small goals to try and conquer. Start by telling yourself that you will stay in your room until midnight. You will try and go to sleep. You can try reading before bed, a pleasant book, not scarey. You can try and repeat a positive quote in your mind. If you believe in God, try repeating a verse from the bible. If you are still awake by midnight then you can go to your parents room and sleep that night. But each night you must set a goal and try it. It will happen, it may take some time but it will happen. Also, try this when you don't have school the next day, summer break/weekends etc... If there is something that you are afraid of then face it, if its a noise turn on the light and look to see what made the noise. If its darkness, then have a flashlight in bed with you or have nightlights. Face the fear, don't let "it" control you. You are bigger than your fears. Good Luck. Keep trying it will happen.

Jul 27, 2012
Sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and I have the same problem last summer and basically last year I slept in my room but now I am scared and when my mom tells me I have to sleep in my bed I panic and start crying I have tried lights and a tv with a movie, and every thing I am independent and really want to sleep alone but I feel like I can't and I try telling myself I can do it but then I can't :( i have good grades and friends but then I get home and start to think about night time and freak out I have to beg my mom to let me sleep in her room and she always eventually gives in because I cry and everything I read these things and am glad I am not the only one but I do really need help!!!!

Jul 28, 2012
i havea 12 1/2 daughter
by: Anonymous

I realize my mistake was letting her sleep with my as a toddler. Now I am paying for it! she is very bright.

Everynight I have to spend minimum of 90 minutes putting her to sleep. For example tonight was 90 minutes, she slept fortwo and a half hours, and now i am awake agsin having to baby her and sit with her. Nothing works. I gave her the dig, i tell her we cant do things she wants to. We are to go to the drivein with her bestfriends family two nights from now. Dont want to reward her by letting us go. Her response then is she doesnt need friends. Im tired of beibg tired because of this. It is like i have a new baby and not a tween!

Taking activities away such as playing favorite game away doent help.

We are to go on vacation to the beach. I have even told her if she cant sleep in her own room she will have to stat with her grandparents.

She gives 100s of reasons?doesnt like her room. The xarpet. The walls need painted. Etc.

Righting this at 400 am. Told her she has to get up at 700am dont care if she is tired. She has made me and the rest of us tired.

Looking for help and an answer,. . . .in Pa.

Jul 28, 2012
hi i need help
by: Australia

i'm 14 i know i am going on camp for school i don't want to go because i am so worried about not getting enough sleep i suffer for migraines and i'm worried that if i don't get sleep at camp i will get a migraine and i can't go home the place is 5 hours away i don't know what to do I'm always not going out because of this i get so depressed i don't know heats wrong with me what do i do

Jul 28, 2012
i need help [please]:( continuation
by: Anonymous

Well today I'm going to try what the blog suggested.I also want to say how badly i felt after fight that derived because of my sleeping
problems. So Yous wanted to say hope it works Thanks(:

Jul 28, 2012
Sleeping with parents at 12
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and I have a big problem with sleeping alone, anytime I am alone in my bed i start to panic and cry. Last summer i switched rooms and beds and slept fine every night and I know this is crazy but I was getting used to this one bed and then my parents re did my room and now I am afraid of this bed and stuff I don't know why but i am. I really really want to sleep alone and prove I can do it but I panic when I am alone, I have read the comments but they are what i have tried but i feel like nothing works PLEASE HELP I feel like i am strange............

Jul 29, 2012
To the numerous blogs above
by: Anonymous

First off, to the parents. I can 100% empathize with you. I know how wearing it is when all you want to do is go to sleep and then you have an anxious child at your bedside, pleading with you. All I can say is, keep trying. We tried so many times various ways to get our child to sleep in her room. We tried things more than once. My daughter was so anxious that I would end up crying for her, I could really feel the sense of anxiety and fear that she was fretting about when she was pleading to sleep in our room. Did we do the wrong thing by letting her sleep in our room, I don't think so. We are her parents, it is our job to help our children feel safe and help them deal with these fears. As we all know, children are all different-even within the same household. There is no recipe to fix this issue. But what I will say is, the kids need lots of love and reassurance. I mean look at our crazy crazy world, its no wonder that they wake up or dream crazy dreams. So, as parents we just need to continue to be supportive, trying various ways to make them feel safe and loved. Yes, it is hard. Especially when we are sooooo tired. But I promise you this, it will end. They will break away at some point and sleep in their own room. They really will and if you have a faith I think its important to help them develop that faith so they do have hope. Good Luck and keep trying I promise it will work. I am the original blogger, my daughter is now 15 and sleeps in her own room. I have an 11yo son who is sleeping on our floor, I know it will end at some point. We just keep trying and praying:)

Jul 31, 2012
Im 12 and still cant sleep on my own what do i do?
by: Anonymous

Hi i am 12 years old and i cant sleep on my own i dont no why? but its not fun to deal with i wanna go to bed but i cant? its a strange feeling.this started happing, in the summer time. untill one day i slept in my parents room for a full 3 days and after that i lost it my mom told me to sleep in your room and i just started crying and getting nervouse untill my mom was like ill sleep with you and i got better so the next day around 5.00 i started getting nervouse so my mom said dont worry honey it always works out! so around 10.00pm i got really i mean really nervouse and so my mom said you aint getting better by me sleepin in there so she said im not sleepin in there after that i strted beggin so hard tht i got to sleep in my parents room!! and my dad said this is it! no more sleepin in here no more! so i dident care about that so i just slept in there and my mom gave me slepin pills and i got knocked out the next day was fine still around 10.00 i was alright but... when my mom said( she was tired and then i lost it again!!! so me and my parents are trying to find out what's really going on so wreally whats's going on???

Aug 01, 2012
I'm 12 years old
by: Anonymous

I'm 12 years old and I do the same thing every night i lay in my bed and wait for my mom to go sleep I used to sleep by myself but I can't now could it be because my dad passed away last year

Aug 01, 2012
To the above comments
by: Anonymous

In regards to the 14yo boy who is doing better, I think you have to just continue to watch the improvement. Its not completely better and yes the kids arent thrilled that they are sleeping alone, but the reality is they are sleeping in their room. Are they still anxious, sure. Its a step process and the more comfortable they get being in their room, alone and able to sleep alone, they will build that confidence. It definitely doesnt happen over night and takes time. But look how far he has come and he will continue to do well. I think sometimes its hard because you feel their angst and want to help them so bad, but what we need to realize at this stage is we are helping them be independent and preparing them for adulthood. Its hard and neverending, but the little steps is what gets you forward. Good luck, he is doing great and will continue to do well. Did he need counseling, I would say No, look at how many children have this very similar issue. And when you look at our world today, its no wonder. Good Luck, I know he is going to do great!
To the 12yo who is struggling, hang in there. Like I said, it really is a day by day situation. Yes, you are definitely anxious and you don't want to sleep in your room, but you can. What you need to do is try and make every day a new beginning, if you fail one night. You try the next. You have to face the fears and keep trying. It will happen.
To the 12yo that lost her Dad last year, first I am so sorry that you would have to endure such pain as losing your parent at such a young age. Yes, you definitely could be struggling with sleep issues because of grief related to your loss. Listen, there is never a time limit on when you need to get "over" the loss of someone so close to you. Let yourself grieve, give yourself time, the sleep issue should not be your worry right now. Reach out to those around you and keep your Dads memories alive. Best wishes, I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Aug 01, 2012
13 year old boy afraid to sleep alone
by: Anonymous

Thankyou for your supportave comments.

Aug 02, 2012
by: Anonymous

I have the same thing except I can sleep in my own bed it's just it's very close to my parents room and I can't face the window. Im fine at sleeping over at my friends house & Having my friends over but I think it's caused by to many horror movies at a young age. Sarah xx

Aug 02, 2012
^^to above 13yo
by: Anonymous

I think you would be surprised at how many of your friends have similar sleep issues. Don't feel "bad" about yourself for not sleeping in your own room. The great thing is, you really want to and that is a start. You will, you really will. I think you should try with little steps. Try to go to sleep in your own room and give yourself a goal, by such and such time if I don't fall asleep then I will go in my parents room. Keep trying this every single night, and it will happen eventually. It really will, but you must make the effort and try. You have to have the will to do it, so try and keep trying. Good Luck.
And to Sarah, maybe its not a good idea to be watching horror films at this point in your life:)

Aug 03, 2012
by: VideoGameAddict

I am 11 years old and I have the same problem.I also have Seperation Anxiety. She probably has seperation anxiety too. I am very messed up in the head when it comes to going on trips,going to bed,the doctors,dentist,school,all that.Get her a pet to sleep with her. I sleep with a movie on or a nightlight. Yet I still have problems.I also have auditory hallucinations.The scary thing is,She could be comming down with Schizophrenia. But right now..I'd call it Sleep Insomnia. Good luck :)

Aug 03, 2012
I am scared of getting kidnapped
by: Anonymous

I have a huge problem of sleeping at note cuz I am up stairs with my older brother but he always has his door shut so I feel like I'm alone i really need a soulition I sleep fine at friends but not at home I am 11 and my parents think I am faking all this so they don't let me sleep with them so I ball ball
and ball everynite scared to sleep a lone

Aug 05, 2012
oldest child can't sleep
by: Parent in PA

Our son has the same issues I've been reading about in these posts. He's 13, our oldest, and he's a very popular, friendly, spirited kid. But he either can't sleep alone, or needs to know that someone is still awake in the living room while he's falling asleep (which means that either me or my wife have often needed to stay awake in the living room while he keeps periodically calling down to us to say good night - and reassuring himself that someone in the house is still awake). His younger sister has no problem falling asleep by herself in her room. Although their personalities have almost always been this way, I also wonder if him being the oldest child is a factor in any way (and perhaps we over the years put up with this more from him being the oldest than we have or would have from his younger sibling). Intersted to know if other are expereincing this more with an oldest child than younger ones. Thanks.

Aug 05, 2012
regarding the oldest child
by: Anonymous

My daughter is the oldest child and definitely had the most angst about sleeping alone. However, my son now has issues at 11. The difference is my son does not have the level of anxiety that my daughter had when she was having issues. It may be oldest child. I think my son is more "conditioned" because his older sister had issues and that is what he saw and knew. So, now my daughter is fine and we are dealing with our son!

Aug 06, 2012
My daughter can't sleep alone she is 10!
by: Anonymous

My 10 yr old has the same problem is it mental issues help me! You can see the fear in her eyes when I tell her to sleep alone :( she sometimes starts screaming and crying her eyes out but eventually falls asleep but she wakes up ever time at like 3 in morning. She had no problem sharing a room with her sister but then we moved and now she can't. Maybe it's scary movies or something but she can't no matter what. Ive tried dream nets crosses and all kinds of stuff to hang over the bed but IT DOESN'T WORK! I don't know what to do.

Aug 06, 2012
i can't sleep help
by: james

i need help with my sleeping. it maybe a nightmare or even scary movies. i need help by my dad or mum slepping with my or even my sister to sleep with me so i am okay. my cousins sometimes force me to see scary things so i need help.

Aug 07, 2012
to James
by: Anonymous

James- First off, you should know that there are so many kids from real young to 17 years old that have sleep issues. So, don't fret and don't feel like there is ever something "wrong" with you. There is nothing wrong. You have a fear, it happens to be when its time to unwind, close your eyes and fall aleep. A lot of kids have this same fear, you just don't know it because no one talks about it. Keep trying, it is a fear and you will eventually overcome this fear. But in order for you to conquer the fear, you have to continue to try. Set limits for yourself, that by such and such time you will try and fall asleep. If you can't then you sleep with Mom or Sis. But you have to keep trying, that is key. You cannot give in to the fear. You will overcome it. I promise you. Hang in there!

Aug 08, 2012
my daughter is 12 and is petrefide to sleep
by: tracy ulibarri

this has been going on for the last 2 yr she went to sleeping in her room to sleeping on the couch and now in my bed, but when she sleep in bed with me in bed my husband sleeps on the couch she dosent like sleeping next to any windows i dont know what to do i have tried everything including sleeping in bed with her but the strain on my marriage is wairing i would do anything for my daughter could u please help yhr way my daughter is 13.

Aug 08, 2012
to above comment
by: Anonymous

If your daughters afraid of the windows then she must be feeling unsafe. First off, I would try and make her environment as safe as possible. If you can move her bed away from any windows and ask her where it would feel safest to her. Then once the room is arranged in a way that she feels "safe" have her go over with you what makes her feel "safe". Show her that you will lock all the doors and windows, keep a night light on, give her a bell or something she can sleep with in bed that she feels she could make noise if she got scared. I think 13 years old is just about the age when they are really wanting to sleep in their own room but they are consumed with fear. So,try and figure out what exactly makes her afraid and then try and conquer that fear. If she hears noises, try and figure out what the noise is so she can realize that it is nothing to be afraid of. I hope that helps. It is very straining on a couple, I know. But it will get better. The parents have to keep trying and keep being patient just like the kids. Sometimes it was just easier to let our daughter sleep in our room because we were tired. You do what you can and keep trying. The key is keep trying and keep trying. It will happen.

Aug 13, 2012
My daughter cannot sleep alone.....
by: MD

Anonymous, I'm not so sure I agree with you. Sleep with your mom or sis? Sis okay, but what if mom is a working mom? What if mom is married? While some people espouse the philosophy of children in the marital bed or bedroom, this is seldom a good idea for a marriage. I know it takes patience and perseverance when a child has an anxiety disorder, and yes, this fear is an anxiety disorder. Anxieties are normal, but when they interfere with a lifestyle (the child and the parents) it is time to address the situation professionally. Grow out of it? Usually, but that can take years. The exact cause of anxiety disorders is unknown; but anxiety disorders are not the result of personal weakness, a character flaw, or poor upbringing.

I think a visit with a physician is the first step that should be undertaken to rule out any physical cause. If there is no physical cause, move onto emotional ones. There is a multitude of approaches that can be undertaken, such as medication, psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy or relaxation therapy. Support groups are also a consideration.

Supportive care by the parents and a professional staff may be just what the doctor ordered.

Aug 14, 2012
to the most recent entry-MD
by: Anonymous

I agree there are a few instances that intervention with a counselor or physician may be warranted. But they are few. As you can see from this blog, this is an issue that many children deal with and there is definitely not "one" answer. I absolutely disagree that trying medication is an answer. First off, these children are in the midst of growing and developing hormones. They absolutely do not need medication to disrupt this natural process. Is it anxiety, absolutely. Do we all have some level of anxiety, absolutely. This is one way that the children start to learn to cope with the anxieties they may face. There are always outliers, so sure there a few that do need medical intervention. But for the most part, its pure patience and reassurance with a lot of help from the parents. You probably have your own issues with your own child or one of your clients, why else would you have googled this issue and found this blog?

Aug 14, 2012
similar problem
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and I have a similar problem but i sleep with my 7 year old sister and am afraid someone is in our house at night and when i hear a noise i freak out and have to go look around the house and sometimes i think noise came from my moms room so i go and check on her.I really would like to stop this and have a good nights sleep. Any suggestions?

Aug 15, 2012
I'm still so scared!!
by: Anonymous

Hey guys, I'm almost 17 now and I struggle to sleep at night the earliest I probably fall asleep would be around 3.30 in the morning, there fore I'm restless the whole next day at tafe, I slept with my mother in her bed every single night since I was 4 till about 14. I don't sleep with her anymore, but I always sleep with the light on and my door locked shut and also have curtains across my mirror. I don't get in my bed till my mum goes to bed. I lay in my bed thinking about someone in the house trying to hurt me, I usually hide under my pillow and blanket cause I'm to scared to open my eyes I hold my ears closed so I can't hear anything at all and sometimes I cry because Im to scared to shut my eyes. I just wish I could sleep, as it's making me sick, I use to think that it was just my horrible past, or death of close friends and family members that is causing this, but now I just think I'm going crazy because I'm so paranoid . Please help me, anyone or anything will be appreciated!!!!!!

Aug 15, 2012
To the 17 year old above
by: Anonymous

Im not sure what type of things you have to deal with in the past, but for sure you would most definitely benefit from some counseling. If money is an issue and you cannot affort a counselor, check into catholic charities, they have qualified counselors at no fee or minimal fee based on a sliding scale. It really never hurts to talk things out, esp. if its a professional because they have some really good tips that will help you. In regards to hiding under your pillow,think about what it is your afraid of, face that fear. Empower yourself by taking self defense classes if you can. Try and get to a place where you feel safe with yourself and any situation may face. I really do think you would really benefit with a counselor. I hope this helps.

Aug 15, 2012
To above comment.
by: Anonymous

I do boxing classes and kick boxing classes, and I have been ever since I was 8 I have no problem in the defense area, I'm afraid of the dark, and have seen a lot of deaths of very close people to me, that I guess I blamed myself for the cause, when deep down I know it's not my fault, but I think because I blame myself I worry that there spirits are coming after me. I have anxiety issues and a very bad paranoia problem, I worry that I'm the only one with this problem, I think I'm a freak, and my family laugh at me, which discourages me' I've been very bad where I'd had an anxiety attack, which led to an Athsma attack, which caused me to end up in hospital, that scared me very much.
I go to church every Sunday and talk to the paster, he gives my mind peace, until I go to sleep! I will try couselling, & let you know how it works out, thankyou very much !

Aug 15, 2012
I know how it feels, i'm 13 and can't sleep alone
by: Hannah

Hi everyone, I'm a 13 year old girl and I just wanted to share MY own story, i have had problems with sleeping my whole life, i have always been sleeping in my parents bed, and i just hate doing it, i don't know really WHY i do it? some nights i'm scared, and some nights i just don't want to sleep alone, and if my mum says something like "no, go to your bed and sleep alone" i starts to cry like a little baby... i feel so bad about my self and i just wants this to end, i am tierd all the days, in school, i just hate it....

And tonight, i just couldn't sleep, i walked in to my mothers room, saying "mum, i can't sleep" and she was like "what am i gonna do?" and i said "i don't know" and started to cry... she said "try a little bit", and so i took my phone and googled "i sleep in my parents bed" and found THIS, and i'm kinda' glad that there is people with the same problems as me... i'm laying here now, in my bed, all alone, and crying, i think my mother is slepping and i have no idea what to do, i don't wanna make her angry..

lots of love, hannah.

Aug 16, 2012
To the 17yo and the above 13yo
by: Anonymous

First to the 17yo who takes kickboxing, that is awesome! Im sure you feel empowered that you can defend yourself. It sounds like, its more your own thoughts that are disturbing you. I really think by talking it out with a counselor then you can work through those thoughts. You can discover why the darkness provokes the fear, why you think its "your fault" and work through it. I know you can, I really do think you will conquer this issue. You may have anxiety but keep in mind everyone has anxiety, you just need some help in how to deal with the anxiety so it doesnt overwhelm you. Sometimes if you belong to a big church, they have counselors at the church who can help. Start there if you can but make sure you are comfortable with whoever the counselor is so that you are honest and able to express yourself freely. Good Luck!

To the 13yo who is frustrated above with sleeping in her Moms room. I can feel your angst. I know your frustated and your feelings are so real to you, but you will get through this issue. Look at all the kids who responded to this blog. There are sooooo many children that have this same issue. So first off, know that there is nothing wrong with you. Yes you get anxious, you cry and you hate sleeping alone, but you will get through it. Once again, if you read through the blogs, try and try each night to calm yourself, face the fear- if you hear a noise get out of bed and find it, see what it is that makes the noise. If you need light, bring a flashlight to bed. What makes you feel safe? Give yourself a timeline, you have to keep trying-each night, start out in your own bed-try and fall asleep by such and such time, if you cant then talk to your mom. But you must keep trying because it will happen, its just a matter of time. Hang in there:)

Aug 17, 2012
trouble sleeping
by: Anonymous

I have worries when i go to bed... Im 13. I dont worry about sleeping alone i worry more that i wont sleep or that i wont get enough hours sleep.... I have a birhday party coming up and it is two days before school. Im worried i wont sleep and it will muck up my routine im setting for school (bed at 9.45 wake up at 7) it takes me about 2-3 hours to fall asleep... What shall i do? I want to go but im worried!! Help????

Aug 20, 2012
by: Anonymous

I am also 12 and I am terrified of sleeping alone … my parents force me to go to bed alone in my room and I really am terrified... they said if I go down there I loose HALF my alowence Money I NEED HELP

Aug 27, 2012
me and my brother and cousin
by: Anonymous

im 10 and my 4 year old brother and my 4 year old cousin is a girl and my brother slept alone since he was about 3 and my girl cousin when she was around 2-3 i never had any problems.

Aug 29, 2012
by: Anonymous

hi im 10 going on 11 next month im also going into grade 6 next month. im very upset that i sleep in my parents room at almost 11 😭. sometimes i cry about it. 😭 i sleep on 2 blankets under me a pillow under my head and a blanket to cover me. what im also upset about is my parents dont like to keep my like PERSONAL life PERSONAL(mostly my mom) she has told some of my dance friends moms and some of my school friends moms and has told strangers we dont know. and then at home my dad keeps saying im going to throw you in your room and lock you in there on the day school starts and we are not letting you have this oppurtunity again i understand that i shouldnt be sleeping there but still it scares me sometimes if he means it now i go to bed aroun 9:45 10:00 but cant fall asleep till like 11 once i went to bed at 9 and didnt fall asleep till 1 am. im very worried cause i did this around Christmas when i was 8 and my parents got me out at age 9 but you know how by bribing me my mom bought me tickets to my favourite band but i had to sleep in my room for a week so i tried i did it i got used to it and i didnt want to leave because it was soooooo comfy but eventually when i was 10 in lime January 2012 i started to cry around 11 cause my parents were going to bed and i was afraid of tbe dark so i definitley couldnt then, then after that they havent card about my health or ecucation please help me and im putting this out there im a dancer and its not good to be sleepin on a floor this year im doing a lot of competition and lime 10/12 hours of dance a week every week. and my dark issue how it got me here for the second time i do have a nightlight i have no idea whatto do and i dont feel safe sleeping in the dark without my parents,
HELP PLZ or im going to fail in school and have to quit dance and dance is my life just like other things are peoples lifes.

Aug 30, 2012
Wow! I'm not the only one.
by: Cassidy

Hi I'm cassie and i am turning 12 this february.(sorry if i spelt it wrong). Its scary to me how lots of other people go through this i thought i was the only one. And because of that i thought i was weird, or had something wrong with me.
In fact two days ago i was with my mom (my parents are in a divorce) and i couldn't go to sleep until she slept there with me. I cried to my mom telling her everything that was wrong or i didn't like in my life. eg. moving school's, fighting, my pet just died, my moms moving to Toronto and how i live a hour-hour and a half away from her. and blah blah blah. but my mom was really worried about me so when i left for my dads house i called her when it was time for bed already worrying about bed when she told me relax thing of my favorite things in life and many more things that seamed to work i was crying though.
the point is i am going into grade six and all the stress in my life has fell in my sleeping. I am now going to a special person who can help fix this in my life. Thank you to the people who have read this theres a lot of things i had to get of my mind.Cassie

Aug 31, 2012
Dear Cassie and the 15yo above
by: Anonymous

HANG IN THERE!! Cassie you have a lot of change going on in your life and that can be very stressful and overwhelming, so just try and organize your thoughts thinking about what makes you happy and all those positive things, try this before bedtime, kind of like a warm up to bed. Then when you are lying in your bed, try and say something over and over in your head, something positive. "I am smart, I am beautiful, I can do this" Hey, I know it sounnds silly but who cares, no one can hear what your thinking. By repeating it, over and over its just going to send positive messages to your brain and the repetitiveness will make you sleepy. Try it. But don't be hard on yourself when someone goes through a lot of change its not easy it takes time to adjust, be you will adjust. Stay positive:)
To the 15yo, Im sure it was the horror show that provoked those scarey thoughts to return. I will tell you, my 15yo still loves to sleep on the floor in my room, if she was given a choice it would certainly be that she would sleep in my room. I don't let her except on extremely special circumstances because she has come such a long way in sleeping in her own bed/room. Now she is at the point where she CAN sleep in her room alone, she just doesnt like it. Sometimes that is how life is, we have to adjust. It sounds like you can sleep in your room, you are just at the point where you need to avoid horror shows and replace the scarey thoughts, with positive thoughts, like I told Cassie above. Good Luck, I know you will do it.

Sep 03, 2012
I can't sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem. I am 13 and I started being able to sleep on my own but then every once in a while I would get really scared of being alone and being the only one up and nothing can help me but having my mom or dad lie with me. Sometimes I just cant fall asleep because I have an overactive mind and then I need someone to lie with me to calm me down. It has been happening more frequently and I tried melatonin but that night was the worst in a while. I have tried distracting myself but that ust keeps me up later and tends to make it worse. A lot of the time I wish I could go downstairs and watch TV but I don't because I feel wierd doing that. I feel bad because my parents never really get to spend time together so i really want to be able to sleep alone so I am not a problem. I also have really bad anxiety and I am getting better from that and I also get really stressed so I don't know if it is from that. If anyone has any suggestions to help me please let me know.

Sep 03, 2012
I can't sleep without my lights
by: Little Ge

I am only 12 (not long had my birthday) I am so frightened of the dark... I am OK if I have my dog with me but he never comes into my room! I usually get tucked in before going to sleep and my mum thinks I am getting to old to do this... I then usually fall to sleep and then my mother turns off my lights. I am wanting to go to bed after my mother and not be scared..... PLEASE HELP AND GIVE ME TIPS ON HOW TO SLEEP AL0NE

Little Ge

Sep 05, 2012
to the mom above
by: Anonymous

I have been in the same boat. I will tell you that we gave in many times, we had to. We would try certain things and they wouldnt work and then we were worried she wasnt getting the sleep she needed so we would let her sleep in our room on the floor or with her little brother. My daugter too, has no problem staying alone in our house during the day/eve for short spurts, she can do sleepovers at other homes no problem and have friends sleep over our house. But when push came to shove at night, she had a true anxiety about sleeping alone. She is now almost 15 and sleeps in her own bed, there was no magic. I even had my husband and I go to a counselor to help her, I didnt want to take her because I didnt want her to feel that there was something "wrong" with her. Anyway, the counseling was helpful but really it was just my daughter maturing and time that helped her the most. Even now if she is given the choice, she would much rather sleep in our room on the floor then her own bed. We don't let her because the anxiety she once experienced has lessened. Hope this helps.

Sep 05, 2012
by: Anonymous

I understand her problem because I have the same one.I am 11 and I'm all alone in my bed at 12a.m. I am so used to having someone next to me when I sleep. But now that I have my own room, its pretty scary. So, if I were you I would let her have a t.v in her room I have one in mine and it helps a whole lot

Sep 11, 2012
My daughter cannot sleep alone.
by: Anonymous

When i googled this i was so relieved to find that my daughter and us as parents are not alone . she has been afraid of sleeping alone for over a year now , and like another lady said , it has been since she watched paranormal activity (unknown to m,e , at a friends hse)Her imagination has run riot, and she thinks and believes every little sound she hears is something or someone terrible,about to get her. She hates being alone upstairs, hates being in the bath or shower if no one is upstairs, and certainly hates being the only one awake in the house. Her fears are real to her and no matter how much i try to reassure her and give logical explanations for the noises etc she still has these fears. She is a bright ,talented popular 14 year old and it breaks my heart to see her cry when i say "just try",she wants to but just can't.My husband works away alot so she sleeps with me , and when he's home she sleeps on our floor. I live in hope having read some of these stories that she will grow out of it ,because i know she certainly doesn't want to feel this way, until then i will continue to give up my space in the bed as she pinches it all when she's asleep !!

Sep 12, 2012
I am 13 and know your pain
by: Anonymous

I have been researching this for a while now because i have slep in my parents bed forever now. At my moms its once a week because thats all shell allow me but at my dads whos a firefighter so when he is home i always sleep in his bed and i keep telling myself and they keep telling me that ill grow out of it but i dont think i will. I hope i will once well i Start my . because then ill feel too ackward or something i dont know i just want to stop it because im in high school now n im probably the only one that still sleeps in their parents bed especially that often. Someone plez help.

Sep 12, 2012
To the 13yo above
by: Anonymous

I absolutely guarantee you that there are other kids in high school sleeping in their parents room. You are definitely not alone. My soon to be 15yo wanted to sleep on the floor in our room just last night. We didn't let her because she has been doing well sleeping in her own room, so we insisted she go in her own room. BUT if she is given the option she would definitely choose our room. There is nothing wrong with you. As you can see from this blog, this is a very very prevalant issue, that touches many many people. It is never talked about therefore everyone feels its a problem with themselves. However, this blog assures you that this is an issue with many kids, and guess what- you will definitely get past it. It will happen, you will start trying to stay in your own room and eventually it will be comfortable to you and the rest is history. So, hang in there, keep trying and don't lose hope, you will do this it is just a matter of time and patience. Keep trying and be persistent. GOOD LUCK!

Sep 15, 2012
I used to be the same way
by: Anonymous

Hi, i just wanted to say i am 14, and i have just started sleeping in my own room. I used to sleep in my dad and stepmoms room in the floor, but i just recently (last night) slept in my own room. I turned on a little light, watched some tv, and fell asleep with my dog. Thats the only way i will sleep in my room is if my dog is with me. I know your problem will get better, she is just over-thinking it like i did, and until last night i didnt realize how relaxing it is to have your own room.

Sep 16, 2012
I think
by: Anonymous

I am 15 now, I am fully able to sleep on my own but some days me and my 6 year old sister will demand a bed time story and sleep in the same bed as my mother. I used to suffer from anxiety but now it is simply a comfort thing- her bed is somehow far more comfortable than mine! I wouldn't worry about what age your child is, eventually they will want independence and overcome any anxiety.

Sep 16, 2012
Can't get used to sleeping alone.
by: Anonymous

Hi, i just turned 17 in April. From when I was little and up till this yr, May, I have been sleeping with my grandmother next to me since I share a room with her.So basically I've been sleeping next to her for 17years. But recently in May, she moved to my aunt's house to take care of my grandfather who has a stroke and she has to stay there for quite a long time. Up until now, I have problems with sleeping alone. I get panic attacks and an over active imagination when I try to fall asleep. Like I would hear little sounds outside and i will panic. Usually, I sleep with the door closed and the lights on. But 4 months ago and up till now, I couldn't take it so now I've been sleeping in my parents' room,on the floor. This is a really big problem especially since im already a teen. I really do not know what to do and I was relieved when I found this blog.

Sep 21, 2012
your 13 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

i think that its just strange your daughter wont fall fall asleep by herself. i think that u should tell her to think of good things if she has bad thoughts. i also suggest u sit her down and have a talk with her you should say something like: "you are a teenager now stop being such a baby and be mature." then send to her room and lock her there like a princess until she falls asleep. then every day sneak in her room and give her some prison food. that will teach your little brat for a my advice I'm in the same situation.
JK dont do that i have no idea what I'm talking about. you should show your daughter that you understand and care.Be nice and good luck!

Sep 24, 2012
Been there done that
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm
Nicole and I'm 13 years old. Believe it or not but I only just started sleeping in my room about a few days. Let me just say when I was little I had bad dreams and issues an was very scared and whenever I put my head down on the pillow I thought of the worst thing possible. Have you tryed asking her how she would like her room. For example my mum just got me a comfy three quarter bed which means basically double bed and now I type I'm laying in it alone. I kinder just grew out of the whole fact of being scared you can also ask bet what makes her safe?? I'm Wiccan and I have my sign right above my head I feel safe :). Have you also tryed her sleeping in her room with the light on and you watching TV outside her room and she can be playing with her iPod or laptop until she's so tired she doesn't care. That's how I do it I wait till I really tired and then I close my eyes with the TV on. Last thing final ha she got a younger or older sister or brother she can sleep with I slept with my 17 year old brother for like 10 years because i was scared. Anyway good luck and show your daughter what I'm gonna say right now: don't worry nothing will happen to you I was exactly like you and I'm 13 aswell please you can do it.

Sep 26, 2012
Scared of the Dark
by: Anonymous

When I was little, I was scared of the dark. I shared a room with my brother for the first 13 years of my life. He is actually 6 years younger than me. Even though he was on the bottom bunk, I still felt scared. I would climb onto the foot of his bed to fall asleep.

When we moved, I got my own room. I enjoyed being in my space in the day time but as soon as it got dark, I would find my way to my brother's room. I never slept with the lights off, i was terrified of the dark but if when I slept with him or even my mother, I felt safe. I used to have bad dreams sometimes and at times I had bad thoughts. This didn't happen every night but even on those peaceful nights, I could only sleep with someone with me. I didn't sleep in my room alone until I had my daughter at 21. It felt as if my fear left me when I had my child. I thought that I conquered it but I was wrong. I was fine because my daughter was with me.

I realized that my fear hadn't left when she spent the weekend with her father and his family. I was alone again. I was scared, I don't think I got any sleep that night. When she and her father came home, I was ashamed. I was a grown woman still scared to sleep alone. At that moment, I had to grow up. I told myself that there was nothing to be scared of. The next time I was left in the house alone, I tried to think of happy things it took some time but I finally got to a point where I am fine sleeping alone.

Now, I am 32 years old and I feel that my daughter is suffering through what I did as a child. All I can do is be patient and pray that she gets through just as I did.

Sep 28, 2012
i can't sleep either
by: Anonymous

Hi guys of this conversation, i'm 12 and I have been reaserching this alot. I am pretty mature for my age because i'm older and have always had a "mother like" feeling towards my younger siblings because my parents work a lot. I am turning 13 next year and am really scared of sleeping. At first I thought this was some sort of insomnia because of how much i'd just stay up 'making a plan' of an excuse i would tell my mom about how I could somehow convince her to let me sleep with her. A week ago I went on a school camping trip and was genuinly really scared. I panicked all the way until it came. The thing you guys need to do is not to be firm, working to get out of it is best: Just like this, 1st day: lay next to her in bed, 2nd day: stay up until she falls asleep, 3rd day: etc. mean it took me a long time to get comfortoable sleeping without being near anyone. I still ahve this problem but i haven't had to see a doctor yet so i think its just physcologiccal so don't send your kid to one becasue they'll just get scared that there is something wrong with them

Sep 30, 2012
I am 10
by: Emily

Hi I am ten and I am afraid to be alone at night and in the morning I don't know why but I can go to my friends house or any thing 😪I wish I could but I like it when they come over but I can't do that on a school night . If I'm really tired I will go to bed any comments!!!!!!!!😱

Oct 02, 2012
by: Anonymous

Us too she 14 teen. We have also done everything we can ,but she is in our bedroom. I wish I could help her . I know she does not like it too.

Oct 02, 2012
to the above comments
by: Anonymous

I do think that 14-15 is about the age you will see your child attempting to sleep on their own,they want to as much as you want them to. There is always hope and I am confident your 14yo will soon be sleeping alone in their own room. Keep trying and keep supporting them, remember the child really wants to do this just as much as you want them to.

Oct 11, 2012
Cannot sleep alone- 13yrs
by: Anonymous

My husband and I just had a huge fight because my daughter cannot sleep alone. When I used to sleep with my daughter he told me that we should go our separate ways because he needs a wife. I had to teach my child to sleep but she is still having difficulties. Every time she cannot sleep, he expects me to go sleep with her. I just feel that I am being shoveled between them when it suits them. Please help with some advice!!!!!!!!

Oct 12, 2012
Getting to sleep seems to be the challenge
by: Kristi

It certainly is nice reading all your posts. I too am glad I am not alone. I am a parent of a 9 year old girl who will be 10 in Dec. This is a new situation for us as we have never had to deal with this before. My 9 year old shares a room with her 6 year old sister. They have always shared a room together, so they're not alone. My 6 year old sleeps like a dream! My 9 year old, once she is asleep is good (knock on wood!) but her trouble is getting to sleep. She's concerned that she's going to be the only one awake at night while the rest of us are sleeping. She'll focus on the time on her alarm clock and become very anxious that she hadn't fallen asleep by a certain time and that she'll not be able to focus in school the next day. I have turned her clock around so she can't see it and told her not to worry about the time and just to relax and be calm in her bed as that is restful for her body as well. I'm just wondering what I can do to help her feel more settled in going to sleep and not be so anxious keeping herself up worrying that she'll be the last one asleep. Any input is greatly appreciated!! Thanks for reading this!

Oct 12, 2012
My son is 11 years old and still wants to sleep with mom!
by: Need Help

It's my fault for allowing my son to sleep with me since he was a baby. My younger brother use to sleep with my parents till he reached high school. My son never slept in a crib before. I wish I never started the trend. He has slept in his room a couple of times by himself when he was around 8 years old and off and on through his growth. Last night he wanted me to sleep with him, and I said "I can't because your to big." He said. "Mom you don't care about me." I had separated blanket, but I lay there until he went to sleep. How can I stop it for good? He is entering the preteen about to be 11 years old and interested in girls. I asked him what does he want from a girl and what does it mean to date? He said, "He just wanted to hold their hands and nothing else." He is only allowed to watch G movie and some PG depends, but not PG-13 and above. He normally watch Disney channel and nothing elses because he doesn't like violence. He is learning about girls because going to school. What can I say to my son to help him understand mom can't sleep with you and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you? I have tried telling him that cops will not be happy if you sleep with your mother. Also that he wouldn't be able to sleep at his friend's house if he can't sleep by himself. I have done walkin talkin when he was younger, but didn't work. Anyone else have advice that I can use?

Oct 12, 2012
To the above comments
by: Anonymous

First off, to the person who posted-Loser, and YOLO. Well, most likely the reason you are on this site is because you have the issues yourself. So, be kind not critical....

To the others- it really really does get better. I feel for the lady who is being pulled, it certainly does wear on your relationship. But it really is a one day at a time. I remember dreading bedtime because of the anxiety that my daughter, then myself and my husband. There were many nights where we lost it, yelling and screaming, tears. Its not easy but over time it really will get better. We just kept trying and trying and trying. Finally, mostly due to her growing up and being a teen, she became stronger. She still doesnt like sleeping alone, but she will do it. The anxiety level is nothing near what it was when she was younger. I just have to be very firm with her now if she requests to sleep in our room on the floor. I mostly will not let her. Sometimes, I still give in. But for the most part, she is doing excellent. Our son, he developed the habit of coming in our room I think mostly because he saw his sister doing this all the time. Our son is 11 now, he starts in his own bed but 50% of the time will come in our room and I leave a sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed. I try not to make it too comfortable for them so they desire to be in their own comfy beds.

GOOD LUCK!! it will happen, it really will:)

Oct 16, 2012
Channel 4 - New Bedtime Programme To The Rescue!
by: Jacqueline

I hope you don’t mind me messaging you guys. I'm a Producer at Channel 4 and would really like to speak to you about the bedtime troubles you are having with your child.

We are currently developing a programme that covers the ‘bedtime battles’ that occur that cause sleeplessness and ways to combat it.

We have some of the best Child Psychologists /Sleep Experts in the UK working on this with us and we would love to hear your story with a view to potentially getting you on the show, receiving one-to-one expert advice on how to solve these issues.

If you wouldn't mind giving me a quick call on 020 7438 1851 that would be much appreciated.

Many thanks,

jacqueline. paul at twofour. co. uk

Oct 22, 2012
by: Anonymous

When my little brother would wake up screaming in his bed I would be the first one to his room. He had alot of bad dreams and said there was an evil clown in his room. What I did is I prayed over him as he fell asleep and I would pray over his room after he was asleep. I even casted out the evil clown. I never saw it or what ever but why not right? So I did this for about a week and everynight he slept soundly... I still pray after wards but not as often as before. Just have her say a prayer ever night. Bless her bed the doors walls windows. It should help... Just pray Jesus peace over her

Oct 23, 2012
Don't worry about it
by: Anonymous

I'm 17 now, and I was the same way when I was younger. It was terrible. But don't worry, she'll grow out of it. Does sleeping with the light on help her at all? That was probably the most crucial part of growing out of it for me. It was a gradual process of using the light, as well as every now and then my parents' company, as a crutch, until it tapered off into not needed either to sleep comfortably. So, I say, don't worry about it, she'll definitely grow out of it. But if she doesn't grow out of it almost completely by the time she's 15, then I would recommend that she see a therapist, not because she's crazy, but bexause they might be able to help her find out what's causing her anxiety, as well as how to deal with it.

Nov 01, 2012
I worried i will not grow out of it
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem at the age of 11. i think it would help to have a TV in my room (got the idea from an earlier post), but how can sort it out, there is no way i will get a tv in my room. HELP!!!!

Nov 01, 2012
I'm 13 and sometimes have a problem simiar
by: Anonymous

Its reassuring to know I'm not alone. But my slightly different problem is, I CAN sleep alone and I'm able, but I have bad dreams about getting killed a lot and it's very frightening the dreams have been slowly ending,but I still feel as if I sleep better in my parent's room. I don't feel as comfortable in my room and in my room I feel a lot more alone and cold. I just would much rather sleep in their room rather than mine for strange reasons.

Nov 04, 2012
My daughter just can't fall asleep
by: Anonymous

We are going on week four and when I ask why she can't really tell me. I have even slept with her and that does not help. She gets good grades and has lots of friends. I can't pin point the problem. But her not sleeping is stressing the rest of the family and then she feels bad about that. It could be 1pm and she will start talking about how she is worrying about not sleeping. Any suggestions just to help her fall asleep?

Nov 07, 2012
I used to be like this
by: Anonymous

I could never sleep as a kid. Ever. It was horrible, I had to stay in my parents room. But I grew out of it. It's all mental. I told myself "I WILL sleep in my own room tonight". Try putting a t.v on mute, or letting the hallway light on with their door open. Eventually they'll be able to sleep without needing these.
I remember when I was quite little I had nightmares about slugs. My mum said salt kills slugs and put salt on the corners of my bed. I didn't have those dreams anymore.
It's all mentality with them and part of growing up. If its nightmares try asking what they're about, and 'get rid of them' by doing a silly ritual (e.g salt to kill slugs) with the kids. Might help & I wish you all the best of luck.

Nov 12, 2012
make the room enjoyable
by: Anonymous

I turned 13 in september and i still can't sleep alone. My mom will sometimes sit by my bed for hours waiting for me to go to sleep. Some nights i will only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep because of crying all night. Recently i have decorated my room with posters and beautiful wall hangings. i realized that my room felt so white that i got lonely in it. ever since i did that i could sleep by myself. Even painting the room might help. sleep can really effect your daily life and it is important that people get enough of it.

Nov 17, 2012
I Know Her Pain
by: Anonymous

I slept with my mother until I was nine. I am now 12 and sleep alone just fine, except, I have to sleep with a special stuffed animal, or I cannot sleep. If it will help, let her pick out a special stuffed animal and tell her, it's OK to sleep with one. I told someone and was made fun of, but that has died down now, and nobody cares. And also, if she has any siblings, but she doesn't share a room, they could sleep in her room with her, or she could sleep in their room. I wasn't able to sleep alone, because I was scared, only someone who slept in the same room would comfort me. I used to share a room with my little sister, but now I have my own room and that has not been an issue.

Nov 26, 2012
I used to be like your daughter....
by: Anonymous

I am a 12 year old girl and I used to not be able to sleep on my own either and my parents didn't know what to do. I would be so nervous about things the night before and I couldn't sleep and so I would sleep on the floor of my parents room. But then they made me stop and it was sooooooo hard for me!!! So they gave me sleeping pills which REALLY helped! But now I can sleep perfectly on my own, which is great:) All you are doing by letting her sleep with you is hurting her. So if you want to help your daughter, don't let her do this anymore!

Nov 27, 2012
happn to my bff
by: Anonymous

she couldn't sleepover or in room! she got over it by sleeping with a stuffed toy or turning the ligh on in her room!

Nov 28, 2012
I need to sleep alone I'm scared
by: Anonymous

I love my parent but I have to let go .Each night I get nervous and can't even be in my room alone .I climb to my parents bed each night with hope of confort( sudently I feel safe) please help me understand this obstacle. :(

Dec 03, 2012
i have the same problem
by: selena

I have the same problem.It is scary at night by my self. My mom says that she wants her room safe and clean what does she mean by safe.
I am 10

Dec 05, 2012
Im twelve and cant sleep on my own.....
by: Anonymous

I am twelve and I myslef cant sleep at night without going into my mummy's room and begging for her to let me sleep in her room. I share a room with my sister and I always have to turn the t.v on and watch Puss In Boots if my mummy says no. I cat even sleep with my sister in the room! And to make things worse she is getting her own room and so am I and whenever it is mentioned that I am getting my own room I instantly feel queasy and rather sick.
What do I do!? :(

Dec 06, 2012
I was that
by: Anonymous

I just wanted to say that I used to be that daughter, or son :) At 13 I used to be terrified of sleeping alone. I used to cry like a baby and absolutely freak out, I would start shaking and hiperventilating. I was terrified. I ended up sleeping on my parents floor all the time. When I woke up I was, again, terrified that noone else was awake in the house.
My parents then decided they had enough and let the family dog sleep with me and put in a night light.
It took time, but Now I am perfectly fine at sleeping and sleep with no night light.

Dec 06, 2012
thanks, guys!!!
by: Amy

Thanks, you guys have made me sort myself out, i think talking to you it make me realize how to sort
this out, bye!!!

Dec 16, 2012
by: Anonymous

I'm a parent too and I have a 11 year old boy and he is phenomenal in school and has all A's. Tell your daughter when you get up in the morning that it's mind over matter And to be confident. Sometimes My son is hyped alot on Sunday use a calm medicine to calm her down. My son doesn't complain when my TV is on and lights but when they go off he gets anxiety in his brain and cries and tells me he can't sleep then I tell him you can do anything you want you know. Another thing he goes to sleep to is when I start to snore cause it makes him know I'm there I guess

Dec 16, 2012
Its no wonder kids have trouble sleeping
by: Anonymous

In light of the terrible tragedy this past week in CT. its really no wonder that our kids are afraid to go to bed at night. There is only ONE HOPE, its in GOD above, and until we find that peace in him we will continue to have anxiety and fear. Pray to God and ask him to open your eyes and show you his word. Then open the bible and find a passage that the Lord is speaking to you. The lord always hears your prayer, always.... Never lose hope, for he is always always with you. This world may be crazy and scarey but the Lord in Heaven loves you more than anyone has ever loved you. Open up to God and he will show you.

Dec 18, 2012
by: Anonymous

HELP ME!!!!! I am 13 and i am so scared to go to bed myself.. i all ways need someone with me.
My Routine!
.My mum sleeps beside me,
.Waits until I fall asleep
.Then she leaves
.But then I sometimes get really scary nightmares....

My Mum
She is fed up with me because:
.She has to go to bed at the same time as me
.She wants to sleep with my dad(even though he snores)
.She wants privacy
.I am a rough sleeper(sometimes accidentaly smack her)
.She has done this for 13 LONG YEARS and can't take anymore!

P.S It doesn't work,sleeping with the TV on. SORRY!!!!!
And I not mentaly ill so I don't need to see a phycatrist or whatever they are called.

Dec 18, 2012
by: Anonymous

Hey selena when your mum meant safe she meant no pictures or stuff lying around. You may think its just clothes but wait till its time to sleep then your imagination will go wild...
When i say wildi mean ghosts monsters.....E.C.T

Dec 18, 2012
13 yr old sis who hasmt slept alone for 7 years
by: Anonymous

For the past seven years my sister has been sleeping on my floor ornparents floor. She is 13 now and is still terrified. I remember the night this horrible thing started. We watched a snake show when she was 6 . We climbed into bed and for some reason she felt snakes and coyotes in her bed. It has never been a peaceful sleep.since.My parents have tried everything. They even let our dog sleep with her but ti no avail. She claims she is "just scared" of robbers and other things but we live in a safe suburb where the wordt crime would be stealing a candy bar. Sometimes i think she is just lying but reading these commentd make me realize that apparently shes not. I am just so fed up with it though. I have to wake up early for school (same time as her) but i end up lacking sleep. She has no problem going to school or sleepovers it is just when she is with just our family at night. She also goes to camp (seperate one than me) for 2 weeks and is anxious heading out but is fine. We have tried melatonin but she refuses to take it. It helps her a bit but she wont take it. I was wondering if anyome had techniqeues or someway i could talk to her about it. My parents both work full time and my mother has to wake up at 5 every morning. My sister keeps them up all the time amd i feel sooo very bad. I want them to get their sleep. So please could i have some techniques or and ways that may help. Thank you!!! It would mean so much.

Dec 23, 2012
by: Anonymous

im about to be 13 next month like a month after i turned 12 i felt the erge to go to sleep by myself with sports going on like football i got independent.

Dec 24, 2012
This Should Help!!!!
by: Raye

Hi Im Raye im 13 when i was 12 i had the EXACT same thing only i couldnt stay with friends i only felt safe sleeping with my parents in the room. And i wouldnt sleep through the night EVER i would wake at least 6 times a night because i needed to make sure i was with someone. I was only able to fall asleep if my mom or dad wernt ready to go to sleep and still up watching tv or something. My parents got me a dog and she is an american bulldog ( kind of like a pitbull) but she is the SWEETEST thing! And she sleeps in my bed everynight sometimes i want to sleep with my parents but i dont like having to put her in her pin in fear she might be scared like i was. I would NOT like it if i was terrified and someone locked me in a cage to sleep! So i sugest get her a big dog.

Dec 24, 2012
hello I am 21 years old and I still cant sleep alone
by: Anonymous

When I was 5 my parents divorced, so my dad kept us and since he had to go to work we were left with different baby sitters. Our baby sitters took care of us well but the problem was that they allowed us to watch scary movies. Since then I cant be in the house alone, I cant sleep alone, and im extremely afraid of the dark. I am married now and this has caused problems to my marriage. My husband and family has told me that I should grow up, that im only acting like a child. I do have very bad anxiety and have had it since I can remember. Any noise in the house freaks me out, and sometimes my mind even starts to play tricks on me like Im overthinking it. I do always have to be the first one asleep or else I cant sleep. I haven't watched a scary movie over ten years and the images still remain in my head from the movie the 13 ghost. Im starting to get better with the whole being alone stuff, when I mean better, I mean 20% better but atleast im getting better. Im still very afraid of the dark but the TV on mute does help me alot, I just put a timer on it were it can shut off in one hour. Sooner or later ill be just fine. The reason I haven't gone to a therapist is because im embarrassed that I still have this at my age. I forgot to mention that I was abused by my stepmom for ten years, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I dont know if it might have anything to do with that.

Dec 30, 2012
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm gonna be 13 next year and can't sleep this has been going on for awhile now and it's starting to worry me,and I kinda have the same thing you mom's are saying about your kids. I can sleep perfectly when I'm in my mom's bed, but when I'm in my room I can't sleep AT ALL. But if I were to sleep with my tv on its a lil easier. I thought at first that I might be afraid of the dark, and maybe that's part of it(embarrassing as it is to say). But someone please please please help me, I wanna sleep so sooooooooo badly but I can't I mean seriously if I turn out all the lights and try to force myself asleep I could end up laying in bed for hours just looking at my walls before I go to bed! Please help, message me at my email plz becuz I most likely wont be on this site again. Thanks for reading, again plz help me :/

Jan 01, 2013
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and I sleep with my mom every night! I hate it, my mom days that if I start to sleep in my own room, we can re-do it. I see all my friends sleep in their own room and it makes me mad at myself! I really want to get help! My dads a cop, but we live on a busy street. And all those cop shows and stuff on the news doesn't help! I don't even stay home alone, when my moms in the shower I have to stay in her room. When she's on the phone in her room, I sometimes have mini panic attacks. I cannot stay in the car alone when my parents go to get something! I'm so frustrated!

Jan 02, 2013
To the 12 yo above
by: Anonymous

My daughter was just like you, and she is now 15 and sleeping in her own room. She still doesnt like staying alone in the house and when I run into a store she is afraid to stay in the car alone. My daughter was 13 when she started sleeping in her own room without a fuss. It took a lot of courage on her part because she was still afraid but she was ready. I would guess that you to will be ready soon. You should redo your room so its as comfortable as possible. Then you will have to muster up the courage and keep trying. It will happen, it really will. My daughter has me check her closets before she goes to bed and she makes sure all the doors are locked. So, even now at 15 she is still a little fearful but she is working through it. So, whatever it is that will help you, keep trying. Good Luck!

Jan 03, 2013
I understand just how you feel
by: Anonymous

I am 10 years old and still can't sleep in my own bed. I am so glad that I am not the only one, i felt like it was just me. When I go to bed and my older brother is up stairs I don't know why but I have to have his door open. I eventually go to sleep that is a good start but I wake up within I hour and I need to get in my mum and dad's bed but if they don't let me into there bed I cry until I get my own way please i really need help!!!!! I can't sleep without somebody next to me, I feel very scared and unsafe. My mum and dad have tried everything but they don't really understand. I wrote down how I felt and my mum has been looking at different ways to help me. This has been happening for a long time. It has really helped me to read everybody's comments and I'm going to try my best.

Jan 03, 2013
Please help! To people who overcame this problem!
by: Anonymous

I am 14 now and I have the same problem. I will lay in my bed but once it gets to about 11 I will have a panic attack and wake my parents up. But, I am fine if I wake up early and every one else is asleep. The only thing that frightens me is the falling asleep part. To the people who had this problem and overcame it: how did you do it? How did you get over the fear and panic? I feel so bad about the hardship I must be putting my parents through.

Jan 04, 2013
I know how she feels
by: Anonymous

I used to be exactly like your daughter, I'm 13 now and only last year did I begin to sleep in my room the whole night. Before when I tried to sleep in my room I'd have panic attacks and start crying, I became depressed which made things even worse at night I remember thinking I was crazy because all my friends could sleep in there own. For at least two yeas I slept on a pull out bed in my parents room and then when I tried to be in my own rom I could only spend around 2 minutes in there, I had no idea why this was happening to me but I remember feeling really ashamed and guilty because my parents had to deal with me. Luckily the thing that got me through it was perseverance I laid in bed and told myself I didn't need to fall asleep there are loads of people awake and nothing will happen to me if I don't fall asleep but obviously after a while everyone will. I also listened to music from my iPod/ relaxing melodies there very calm and I found that relaxing, also my radio helped at first. Another reason I simply couldn't sleep on the pull out bed any more is that the bed is 5"7 inch long and im 5"11 so I could never sleep on there now. I wouldn't worry too mucgs bout your daughter, I used to think I'd never grow out of it, but I did and so will your daughter eventually.

Jan 05, 2013
by: Anonymous

I have been sleeping with my parents since i remember, but now I can't sleep on my own!! I'm 12, And whenever I go to sleep I have this weird feeling of being scared and I feel like I can't calm down. The comments above have been helping me. My parents make me go to sleep by myself but whenever I try, I start getting that feeling and I cry. I feel like I'm a baby and I can't tell my friends or I would be really embarrassed. When I do sleep with my mom I can go to sleep right away. My 11 year old brother sometimes sleeps in the same room in a different bed but it still doesn't help. I have tried reading or watching youtube before I go to sleep but it doesn't help. Sometimes I fall to sleep right away but I always wake up in the middle of the night. Thanks for the comments and thank you for anyone who helped and will help me. <3

Jan 05, 2013
im 13 and I cant be the last one to go to sleep on my own :(
by: Anonymous

I cant be the last person awake, I cant sleep it stinks :( someone help..

Jan 06, 2013
by: Anonymous

My duaghter is 13 and cant sleep alone. What can i do to help her and get her to sleep in her on room by her self? Please help.

Jan 09, 2013
by: Anonymous

I'm 10 yo and I can't sleep either, every time my mom says I'm going to sleep by my self, I say yes then get all scared and then sleep in her room, and tonight she"s making me sleep alone and I need HELP, I ask my friends but sense they don't have that problem I thought I was alone, but I realised I'm not.So I'm still worried, is any one here to reply? HELP WANTED

Jan 10, 2013
i cant fall asleep in my own room
by: Anonymous

Hi, i used to share room with my younger brother untill i was 12. When i turned twelve i got my own room. Before that i had always been scared of sleeping by my own, but when i got my room i fell asleep in just a few minutes. A few months later when it was summer vacation, i saw this commercial on tv about horror movies, thats when i started sleeping in my parents room. During the whole summer vacation i slept in my parents room, until we started school again, thats when i forced myself to sleep in my own room. I could fall asleep in my room during the weekdays but during the weekends i slept in my parents room. Two months later me and my cousins watched a horror movie, i didnt even watch it but i am so scared. It has gone two months of me sleeping on the floor in my parents room. Please help me, i am now thirteen and i cant sleep in my room! I really want your help and advice!

Jan 11, 2013
My brother can relate but it gone
by: Anonymous

My brother is 7 .All the years he couldn't sleep alone otherwise he would cry and just run into parents room. Half way through his life being 7 we went to IKEA and there was an teddy bear he really liked so he promised us that he will sleep alone if we bought him the teddy . My parents agreed from that day he sleeps alone knowing he has a little fluffy friend next to him . Everything changed although he sleeps with him mom sometimes

Jan 14, 2013
can't sleep alone
by: Sylvia

I'm 64 years old, and I can't sleep Alone in my house, I never did, it make me crazy, I married, I have to wait for my husband to go to bed, Waht i'm going to do if something happen to Him, and believe I try many times, I state one night bye my in my house, i din't sleep all night, even i turn all the lights in the house the tv on, what it is? I don't Know Who can help me.

Jan 20, 2013
by: Anonymous

I am twelve and every Sunday I can't get to sleep but it used to be all the time but at my dads my dad has to sleep with me and at my mums I ask her can I have the laptop to read sometimes my mum would say would u like your dog beside u but I say no cause he would keep me awake went to the doctors there advice didn't work so can somebody give me some advice

Jan 28, 2013
12 Year Old Thar Is Unable To Sleep Alone
by: Anonymous

I am facing the same issues, with my 12 year old daughter. I feel much better knowing that we are not alone. She is an very smart well rounded kid that does very well academically, bu exhibits anxiety every night when bed time approaches. I used have to lie in bed with her so she can fall asleep, but as soon as I leave she is up. Now I sit in her room, but as soon I leave she is awake, she wakes up ever so often to check if I am still there. This is affecting both our sleep and has been going on for years. I know she really does not want to be in bed with her parents, she has apologize and has expressed how embarassing this is for her. But I am now getting a better understanding of how to work along with her to help to feel safe and to not add to her anxiety. I need to pack lots more love and patience!

Feb 03, 2013
im too scared
by: Anonymous

i am 12 and am gonna be 13 in a month i am really scared to fall asleep i have to do somethin until i fall asleep! i can sleep in my own bed but when i lie im bed i start thinking things (bad things) and then i get really scared and cant sleep i also hve exams coming up and it really effects me because i dont get to sleep till 3 then have to get up at 6 !!! i cry at school becausr 1 im tired and 2 i get scared about everythin!! im too afraid to tell my parents this so please help me what should i do!!!

Feb 04, 2013
I can't sleep alone!!!
by: Nisa

Hey all, i just googled "I hate sleeping alone" and i found this site, im 15 yrs old girl and i cant sleep alone. I have 2sisters and a brother. i sleep with my 14yr old sister and my 11 year old sister sleeps with my 6yr old brother&my mother. My father sleeps in another room. My room is un upstairs but then one day, i was just so stressedfull, i even didnt know wht was happened with me, i did see a creepy little boy right beside my closet, i was so scared, i told that story to my parents, they took care of it, after that i cant sleep in my room. i cant sleep in the upstair, so i sleep with mattrass in the living room with my 14yr old sister, there was an airconditioner and gorden who cover us from tv. None of us sleep in the upstair bcuz its too scary. its about more thn a year i be like this. i think im not normal or just the only one like this. my parents force me to sleep alone in the upstair but then im just too scared, i dont say that to my parents i just hide it. can anyone help me please?? I ask my parents to decorate my room first but they say if we decorate ur room then you dont want to sleep in your room again, they just dont believe it. they just force but they do nothing :( im just so sad, i just need someone to explain about what's happening with me. am i not normal? Thnx :) im from indonesia by the way :)

Feb 04, 2013
There is hope
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 14, she has just started sleeping in her own room. She has been terrified for so many years due to a scary movie she saw a long time ago. She didn't know why she was scared. She had to sleep next to me on the floor in my room for a long time. I kept telling her, she would grow out of it, it was all in her mind and she had control of her mind. When she was ready, she woyuld stop being scared. at first she stayed on teh floor in our room. We made her sleep outside our door after awhile and this was a big step for her. she got used to it. Then we made her sleep on the couch a few metres down the hall from our room...another big step. Gradually she got used to being away from us. She shared a bedroom with her brother all these years but would only sleep there if we were still awake. This christmas holiday her brother said he wanted his own room. she was really against it and didn't want to do that because of fear. We got her excited about having her own room. we moved their rooms over two days. We bought her a special book shelf for all her things. We let her paint a wall in her room bright aqua. Her room looks great. She has started sleeping in their all by herself. That was her decision. She knows if she gets scared she can sleep in the hallway near us. She decided all by herself. We have always told her the problem is the way she thinks about things and she needs to talk to herself and convince herself she is safe. she has to believe that there is nothing to be scared of and everything will be alright. You need to believe that the fear is in your mind and you have the power to make it go away. You have to have the courage and belief that this problem will go away if you try really really hard. Tell your parents you want to try really hard and you need their support and help. Try bit by bit. My daughters move away from our room happened over one year. She was frightened for 6 years before that.

Feb 07, 2013
I'm not alone! Thank you!
by: Anonymous

Hi. I just turned 11 and lately i've been really upset about sleeping in my own room. i always feel weird about it, but i always end up in my parent's room on a mattress at night. everything on the news gets me scared and i can never EVER sleep alone. I've tried but i wake up in 2:00 a.m. and come to my parent's room :( but now that i'm not alone, it makes me feel better knowing i'm just going through a phase and shouldn't worry. :D

Feb 09, 2013
I'm still sleeping with my dad!!!
by: David

Hey all my name is david and i'm 14. I have no mom and i never know who my mom is, i just have dad. and i've been living with my dad whole my life. my dad is my mom and my dad. he's just like 2parents. I always sleep with my dad in his room, i cant sleep alone, maybe if i angry with my dad i just go upstair and sleep in my room but then about an hour later, i'll end up in my dad's room but my dad is always fine with that, he one day ever said to me "till when you sleep in my room?" but he wasnt angry i think he just kidded. Some of my friends know it and they just yell at me "daddy's boy" i just get annoyed by that but i have to accept that. Every time i sllep in my room, i feel not safe, i feel like there's no one else in the home but me. I feel like someone is watching and someone's gonna take me. Ever since i was kid, i always slept in my dad's room, i had to have his hand by my side so i could sleep, and thats my habit, till now i have to sleep in my dad's room but now i dont really need my dad's hand. but in the afternoon/evening i can spend my time in my room, there's no problem with that, my room is also good, my dad has been decorated it for many times and my friends say that my room is just like "dreaming room" and i do think so too. So what should i do? im 14 years old and i am a boy who still sleep with daddy. Am i not normal? i just sigh in relief because there's not just me who like this :(..

Feb 16, 2013
my story
by: Anonymous

I used to be the same just not as bad ....i am now 13 and when i was about 10 or 11 i would hate being the last one up i would sit on the landing and cry to wake everyone up and make them stay awake untill i was asleep i dont know why ?? I just did ....but now i am fine with being the last one up and when i was little i used to sneak into my muns bed i have the problem that i get home sick and dont like staying out :(

Feb 18, 2013
Sleep anxiety
by: Anonymous

I'm 13 and I can't sleep by myself! Please help my parents won't let me have a tv even though I believe that will help! They r too tough on me and it got to a point last year that I tried to run away! Any suggestions?

Feb 21, 2013
by: Anonymous

I'm 13 as well my sleep history isn't good when I first got my bed it was great I had a little trouble but after that it was good but one day someone broke in my room took personal things and values then the nightmares I got over it later down the road then my gramp died then the sleep walking then farther mother wert together any more I was fine with that till he stock us then I peed the bed had nightmares the hole nine yards I was 5 when my mom and farther and then my grams I was7 the break in I was 6 so yeah not good petty much since then me and mom

Feb 24, 2013
My 13 yr old daughter cannot sleep without me.
by: Anonymous

I'm so pleased to find these comments. Our 13 yr old (nearly 14) has always had a problem sleeping on her own. She gets very upset at just the suggestion of trying to sleep on her own. I thought we were the only ones going through this and that it was all my fault for not doing something a long time ago. Our daughter is such a lovely person and doing very well at school, but has never been able to sleep without me. It has caused a lot of problems between myself and my husband. He is understanding most of the time. Seeing from all the comments on here, hopefully it's something she will grow out of.

Feb 26, 2013
8 year old can't sleep since Sandy Hook
by: Anonymous

My 8 year old daughter used to sleep by herself but since the school shooting she has been afraid to sleep alone. WE Have to air at the bottom of her bed until she falls asleep. She wakes up several times a night and calls for me. I try to keep her from waking her sister so I go right in to her room. She is scared that someone is going to barge in to our house and shoot us. There are nights I get only a couple hours of sleep a night. It is staying to affect our marriage. My husband thinks she is manipulating us to get what she wants.

Mar 01, 2013
I'm 14 and having the same problem ..
by: Anonymous

It's funny . I thought I was the only one with this problem . I'm actually in the middle of another night right now .. It started when I was like 6-7 maybe . I saw something about a little girl being kidnapped from her home on the news and in a magazine . The fear has stayed with me ever since . For a long time I would just sleep on a matress right next to my parent's bed . I feel like a baby . No one understands either . So no one can help .. It's honestly a horrible feeling .. I tried to sleep in my room tonight because I'm too terrified but I'm hearing noises from outside and around the house . Plus it's really dark .. I don't really know what to do at this point .. I have no idea what's wrong . I want to know how to fix it though .. It really sucks ..

Mar 19, 2013
I'm 11
by: Anonymous

I'm the same I'm afraid that someone is going to kill me wile I'm sleeping me and when I started sleeping in my own bed like 2 months late some one at 3 am rang the door bell and freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apr 09, 2013
Don't give up hope
by: Anonymous

My son has just turned 16 & has always had problems with sleeping. He has never been able to self settle & gets very anxious about falling asleep if there is no one else awake in the house. We have tried a number of strategies including letting him sleep on our floor or sitting with him til he falls asleep , he has also had counselling & CBT. Sadly last year we lost a family friend, and he lost a school friend to SADS. He began to suffer extreme anxiety about sleeping, convinced he would die in his bed. He suffered with palpitations at bedtime and was anxious to the point of vomiting. Through CBT and just general maturation , he has learnt to deal with the anxiety and can use strategies to distract himself. He will listen to music or watch TV and is finally going to bed alone. We have the occasional night where he wakes but things are improving. To all those out there, do not give up hope , it will get better.

Apr 10, 2013
The same but worse pls help!!!
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm 12 years old and I still sleep with my mum, It's always been me and my mum. when my parents divorced I got really attached to my mum, I slept with her since I was about 4. ever since I hated sleeping alone whenever my mum tells me to sleep alone I agree telling myself its easy but when it gets dark right befor I'm about to sleep I have panic attacks I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack I sweat and I never fall asleep!! It's effecting my mums social life too, I've tried sleeping alone but scary thoughts fill my mind, I also have the habit of having to cover my head and whole body with the duvet when sleeping so I don't see anything scared of the dark too. I sometimes cry myself to sleep if that doesn't get me to sleep I go to my mum but she gets really angry!! I now still am sleeping with her and am getting tired of acting so babyish. Pls help my panic sleeping problems! I've considered a therapist but I'm not going mad, I've even considered strong sleeping pills that make me sleep easily ( if the even exist) any ideas pls!!!!! I'll do anything. PS I HATE SLEEPOVERS TOO THE ONLY TIME I SLEEP IN MY ROOM IS WHEN SOMEONE'S IN THERRE WITH ME!! HELP!

Apr 10, 2013
by: Anonymous

To all of the above comments;

Don't lose hope!! Believe me it will happen, you will sleep in your own room and you will sleep alone! You can do this, every single one of you. There is no timeline and it happens differently for everyone. To the 18yo, don't lose hope, it is going to work out. There are so many other 18+ year olds out there that feel just as you do. In college, I couldn't sleep if my roommate wasn't in the room. I would have such anxiety. But every time you do it, it becomes easier and easier. Don't beat yourself up over it, don't be embarrassed. I cannot tell you that since I started this website, I am sooooo amazed and baffled by the amount of people that have this issue. There is NOTHING "wrong" with you all, it is an issue. Pure and simple. Just like any other issue, and you have to work through it. It takes time and a continued effort. It will happen. DON'T LOSE HOPE!!!

Apr 28, 2013
by: Anonymous

I'm 18 years old and I'm unable to sleep alone. I lay in bed at night panicked and worried then I become stressed and cry because I can't sleep until eventually at about 5 am I'm so tired I practically pass out. I shake so badly while I'm lying in bed it's driving me insane I'm so scared, I don't even know what of, I just get stressed sleeping alone/ being alone at night. Im at university and live in the accommodation there so I'm never completely alone as there's always people in my flat and the surrounding flats. But I can't sleep in a bed alone at all without being extremely anxious and stressed. When my boyfriend stays I can fall asleep easily within ten minutes and sleep got the full night, but without him here I just can't stop being panicked. I also have a stuffed animal I have to sleep with, of I can't find her I become extremely stressed, anxious and I cry, I know it's pathetic but please does anyone know any way to help???

Apr 28, 2013
There is hope
by: Anonymous

My 13 year old is now sleeping in her room alone! She shared a room with her brother until the start of this year but always got scared. She was the same as everyone in this forum..from the age of 8 years... Terrified, panic attacks etc. Over a one year period we got her to slowly move from on the floor next to my bed to in the corridor next to our bed to on the couch a few metres down the hall from our bed. At the beginning of this year her brother said he wanted his own room. She didn't want to move. We got her excited about decorating her new room. Gave her the bigger and better room. painted the wall aqua (her choice) bought some new furniture etc. She has slept in that bed all alone since!!!Now 14 years old. She knows and has the security that she can always come to us if she is scared. She says she got sick of it! and decided she couldn't stand it anymore and made up her mind to conquer her fear. We have always told her the fear is in her mind. We bought her tapes to listen to called conquer your fears ://
we always told her that one day she will not be afraid anymore. it is important that your child really believes that they will get over it. if they believe the fear will one day go will...because they have the power to make it go away. Best wishes to everyone.

May 10, 2013
help her
by: Big_Brother

If she cannot sleep alone, sleep along with the kid till she comes of age and is able to sleep alone, there is nothing wrong in it as there is no sex involved only you are assuring her.

May 13, 2013
by: Anonymous

I am 12 years old and I can't sleep when I don't sleep with my dog but when I do I can do maybe that will help your 13 year old

May 13, 2013
Float with the same boat
by: Anonymous

Hello this is a 12 year old as well and im very scared to sleep alone im always getting my little brother to sleep in my room or i sleep on the floor in my parents room, they think im faking it but im truly not i have no idea what to do like i said im only 12 im not sure. I want to sleep only i truly do but its like i hear things coming throw my window or someone unlocking the door so im very scared as well but i hope you daughter gets the help she need with the problem and tell her she's not alone :)

Jun 22, 2013
I am technically your daughter.. In a metaphorical sense
by: Anonymous

I am 15. I am in your daughters situation. I too have bad dreams when I sleep alone. It scares me to death to sleep alone. It has every since I was little. I have a queen size bed and make my sister sleep with me. She's 10. My dad has to sleep on the couch when his wife's away, and his psychiatrist said he has warm body syndrome which is what I may have.

Jun 30, 2013
I'm 17
by: Anonymous

both my younger brother and sister are having the exact same issue I used to have, my brother is now 10 my parents are very concerned about him but since i was just like them i know they'll get past it. i spent so many sleepless nights just because i was scared something will pop out or i would start to imagine things in the dark, my parents actually don't know this because every time i would sleep in my sisters room in her bed (sometimes without having her notice me) this continued till i became 15 now i'm finally able to sleep on my own but i still get scared from time to time.

Jul 02, 2013
I totally understand
by: Anonymous

I thought I was the only one who had this fear, but now I see so many other people have it as well. I'm 14, and I'm terrified of sleeping alone, and the dark. My adhd might play a part, too. I come from a large family, so I usually always had to share a room or bed with one of my sisters. But now l have my own room, and it's upstairs and I'm all by myself up there. Right now I sleep with my mom because I'm too scared to sleep in my room. :( also, when I go to my dad's house, I end up sleeping next to my grandma because I feel safer than if I slept on the couch, where it's dark. I feel like it's taking over my life!

Jul 03, 2013
Me too!!!
by: Anonymous

Me too!!! Totally!!! I feel your pain! I am eleven years old and can't sleep without either a nightlight and the door open or someone right beside me. I get really embarrassed about this in front of anyone. To help 'cure' myself, every night I sleep with the door less and less open, then the nightlight less and less bright. But I always end up turning the light on to its original brightness (my nightlight has adjustable brightness) and sleep with the door wide open. I believe that the reason I leave my door open is because I feel trapped when I don't. I don't know why I leave my nightlight on. That has always been a mystery.

Jul 05, 2013
by: Anonymous

My daughter is 9 and she hates being by herself. She thinks someone's going to take in the middle of the night!:(

Jul 09, 2013
15 and scared
by: Anonymous

Well you know I'm 15... When I was little I slept in the same room as my brother. But one night things happened in my parents room so I woke up and well my dad was drunk or something ( I was 7) and he was dad and my mom was crying well it's a long story. But when they divorced I decided I was going to sleep in my mom's bed 'cause I though she would feel alone after 25 years sleeping with someone next to her. Anyway later on my sister came to join us ( she is 11 years older than me) because there were mosquitos in her bedroom.
When my brother and sister left the house to study outside of our city it was only my mom and I in our house. I kept sleeping with her until I had horrible dreams HORRIBLE and for a week I was afraid to sleep because I knew I would have bad dreams( this was not very long ago) and well after some time I thought that maybe if I slept in the bedroom, were all my things are, I would feel safer ( I just thought ) This worked for sometime but I had bad dreams again, and even if I didn't I was always afraid of something, I just didn't know what. I used to cry because of the panic. Sometimes I heard things but then I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not ( like when your falling asleep and you start thinking or barely dreaming non sense stuff) anyway I endend up running to my moms room and sleeping there because now I felt safer there. I tried to sleep in my room every night but I always ended in at my moms. Sometimes my brother or sister spend their vacations with us and they usually stay up late and its easier for me go sleep because I can hear them down staris and some lights are on. I don't know I just panic... But good luck to everyone else

Jul 15, 2013
by: Anonymous

hi I am nearly 13 and I cannot sleep I wish I could leave my parents alone I have to sleep with my mum and I am splitting my parents up from sleeping together. I hate it I also fell bad it stinks help me be not so nervous.
P.S. the tv or sleeping drops don't work and nethier does special care. I need help and fast!!

Jul 16, 2013
to the 13 year old girl and all others too
by: Anonymous

To the 13 year old. Believe in yourself and your ability to get over this. You have the power to control your fear. My daughter is 14 and she only just started sleeping in her own room at the beginning of this year. She decided she wanted to conquer this fear...she was sick of it. She still gets a little anxious every now and then but has slept on her own all year. All of the posts are correct. When the time is right you will decide to get over your fear. The fear is in your head. It is not real. Remember that. Best wishes.

Jul 18, 2013
Im 13 and im having the same problem too!!
by: Anonymous

I used to sleep with my dad and now I have my own room and I can't sleep at night!!! Ive had my own room for about 3 weeks because we moved but now i cry at night and sometimes my dad comes into my room at night and says "Bella, whats wrong?". Its so stupid because I haven't had any sleep for 3 days!!! Does anyone know a solution?

Jul 18, 2013
by: Anonymous

I'm 11 yr and have been sleeping with my parents since I was a baby. I get scared and go into my parents room I always get kicked out, I didn't used to. I sleep with my six yr brother who has the same problem, not as bad. Please help I want it to stop. I stay up all night reading, and if I fall a sleep I wake up at 5:30. I want to sleep in my own bed but cant!

Jul 18, 2013
To the 13 yr old and 11 yr old
by: Anonymous

I bought these tapes (see below) for my 13 year old daughter after years of this problem. They helped her overcome her fear of sleeping alone. They are based on cognitive behavioural therapy. They are expensive but well worth the money. If you really want to get over this problem you have to be determined and put in the effort. You have to work at it and it will not be easy. Don't expect someone else to fix this problem for you. You have the power to fix it yourself. Ask your parents to buy these tapes for you. I think they will help you to see things more clearly and change the way you think about things so that you can get over this fear.

please note - I have no affiliation with the makers of these tapes. I just feel for you all who are experiencing what my daughter went through. It is not easy to deal with but the tapes helped her. Maybe they can help you too.

Jul 18, 2013
Help me please!!!!!
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm 12 years old and I can't sleep in my own room but I can sleep in the living room on the couch with the tv on... I've tried to sleep in my own room but I just can' parents tried to bribe me with redoin my room all the way to a new iPhone 5 but I tried and tried, my mom said that I can't sleep In my room cause I'm telling myself I can't but idk plezzzz just help me!!!!

Jul 21, 2013
Im 13 and cannot sleep
by: Anonymous

Hi sorry to but in to your conversations.
im 13 and I cant sleep without my mum with me. She will sit on a chair with me until I get to sleep.
I dont know what the feeling is, but I get quite nervous. i tried on my own the other night and all i could do is face the chair which my mum sits on. so that night didnt work.I really need help! its killing me to think of the effects in later life:(

Aug 06, 2013
13 year old girl
by: Anonymous

I have an issue with going to sleep without anyone else. I can go to sleep with my mom, but if she wakes up before me and leaves the room, I will wake up in the midst of a horrible nightmare. A lot of them involve my dad being physically harmed or me being emotionally harmed. I think the best thing to do is to ask her to keep a dream diary or ask her about her dreams and possibly ask a professional or do some research on what the dreams mean.

Aug 11, 2013
by: Anonymous

Okay so I'm thirteen and when I was 11 I had a similair problem I could go to sleep if my mom or sister where stil awake but in the middle of the night I would have to go me sleep with my mom who is a single parent but she started getting annoyed because I kept waking her. We practically tried everything but in the end I just stopped and I've not don't it for at leas a year

Aug 27, 2013
GET A DOCTOR!! ( from experience)
by: Anonymous

im 13 and i had the same problem, i could sometimes got to sleep by myself but i kept waking up in the night nd keeping my parents awake, i really think you should go to a sleep clinic and get some professional help because thats what my mum took me too and now i sleep ALOT better. dont think that they'll treat you crazy because they dont they're actually really good and at school you can just say you are going to a doctors appointment! i help this helps.

Sep 04, 2013
adult children
by: Anonymous

I once dated a woman that had a 14 year old daughter. When I met them they slept together. I dated her for 2 years and the daughter always slept with her. The daughter was fine sleeping by herself - the mom wanted the daughter to sleep with her. It was the mom that was afraid to sleep alone. I understand they still sleep together and the daughter is now 19

I also dated another woman that slept with her 18 year old daughter. She slept with her daughter her entire life.

I don't understand this practice at all. I understand sleeping with your children when they are young (up to 5 years old). But, I do not understand sleeping with your almost adult and adult children. Can someone shed some light on this for me.

Sep 08, 2013
My 11 year old is afraid to sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I am glad we are not the only ones having this problem but me and my husband are at our wits end. Up until now we have given in and have just slept next to our daughter. But it is very stressful that she can't sleep on her own. She is very popular and outgoing and plays lots of sports. We have even threatened to take away soccer, which she loves. I just don't know what to do. I may try the tapes someone reccomended or take her to a physchologist. Maybe a sleep clinic? I'm not sure. But I want her to be independent and not fearful and to overcome this. I feel like this will never happen.

Sep 30, 2013
my 10 year old is afraid to sleep alone
by: Anonymous

My 10 year old daughter is the same way she will not sleep alone at night.So we tryed some medication it would help her sleep but still not alone.Im getting very nervous because she wont even go to her friends to spend the night she would always call home to get picked up. She claimed she is not scared of the dark she can do it but hasnt we are starting at bunk beds then small sleep overs take it one step at a time.Wish you luck

Sep 30, 2013
my 10 year old is afraid to sleep alone
by: Anonymous

My 10 year old daughter is the same way she will not sleep alone at night.So we tryed some medication it would help her sleep but still not alone.Im getting very nervous because she wont even go to her friends to spend the night she would always call home to get picked up. She claimed she is not scared of the dark she can do it but hasnt we are starting at bunk beds then small sleep overs take it one step at a time.Wish you luck

Oct 10, 2013
Me to me to me to
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and completely dread sleeping by myself or even just in my room! It all started in April and has been going on for 7 MONTHS!!!! I have to sleep with my mum in her room and my dad has been sleeping in my room for all that time. I feel so embarrassed about it but can't seem to help it. Even just thinking about having to sleep by myself can change my whole mood. I have been to see someone the other day and what she basically said was that I had to sleep alone. I managed to cope for the first time last night but with my dog but I just don't want to go through it again tonight! I just don't know what to do. I am quite happy that some other people are having the same problem because I did feel very alone and stupid. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! I have tried eveything; sleeping remedies, night lights, music, reading, drawing. Nothing works I hope that it will just sort itself out in time but if anyone knows what to do then PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO SOLVE THIS : /

Dec 24, 2013
were the same
by: Anonymous

Im a thirteen year old girl after i watched horror movie i just can't fall asleep around 1 am to 2 am im awake and im scared when my two brothers sleep before me when i put my blanket in my head to cover my face then i suddenly feel someone is beside me then i always have to get up and look then i feel someone near me and then something moving which i don't know and it irritates me that i want to sleep on my own and not with my parents it makes me feel baby this started at december 23

Dec 30, 2013
same here, im 14
by: Anonymous

Hi so now I'm 14, but when I was 11 I watched some of the original Exorcist. For one year after that I could not sleep in my room, and even when someone said exorcist I would get a little scared. Now my mom sleeps in my room and I sleep in her room. I just want this to be over already, but at night I always over think and freak out. I promise you I want to end this but there's something about my room in particular. Though I can sleep in my moms room alone, I can't have or go to any sleepovers or go to camp. I'm worried about high school trips, and college. I want to be able to do those normal teen things, and though I know I'm not alone, I still don't feel normal. I just need to take that last step, but it seems to be the biggest one.

Dec 31, 2013
Goin though the same thing
by: Jenny

My 12 year old son is goin through this same thing...he always has slept in his on room until about 3 or 4 months ago. He says he doesn't feel comfortable sleeping by himself anymore. Some nights he's fine and others he begs for his 6 year old sister to sleep with him. Do y'all think it's okay to allow the sibling to sleep with him? At first I had no compassion but now I truly think he is uncomfortable and want to reassure him he is safe. We have lived in the same house his whole life so it's hard to understand why he would be uncomfortable. In search for answers.....

Jan 11, 2014
Finally content!!
by: Anon

I slept in my mothers bed from 12 til I was 17. One night I was so scared to sleep alone and I asked to sleep in my mums bed she said yes and ever since I slept there. I would cry and cry and cry if she made me sleep in my own bed and I couldn't even go to bed till she was going. I would be physically sick if she told me I had to sleep alone and I would eventually end up sleeping there.

I was seriously so embarrassed about this issue! I felt horrible and terrible and I felt so ashamed that I was so scared.
Lucky for me my mum didn't force me to sleep in my own room.

I think the fact that I was so embarrassed kinda made me get over my fear - I was going into my final year of school and I got to renovate my bedroom and I just slept there and it was no longer an issue.


Jan 17, 2014
15 Years Old, Still Can't Sleep Aline
by: Kitty Kitty Meow Meow

I'm 15 and I CAN'T sleep alone. I usually sleep with my grandmother whom lives with my mother and I, but whenever we fight I'm stuck at night staying up to avoid her. I have no idea why I'm scared to sleep in my room, but I can spend the night at a friends house, no problem

Jan 30, 2014
I am a 12 year old boy

Ok first I all way slep with my Grama when I was a baby and ever sconce I want to sleep with anyone around me I can sleep by myself but I prefer to have someone in a nother bed across the room like when my sister says you can't sleep in here tonight I get worked up PLESE HElP

Jan 30, 2014
I am a 12 year old boy

Ok first I all way slep with my Grama when I was a baby and ever sconce I want to sleep with anyone around me I can sleep by myself but I prefer to have someone in a nother bed across the room like when my sister says you can't sleep in here tonight I get worked up PLESE HElP

Feb 08, 2014
My 12 year old won't be on her own.
by: Anonymous

My 12 year old daughter won't sleep on her own and never has since born. She shares a bedroom with her older sister who hates sharing her room. My 12 year old has her own room which she has never used. She won't not only sleep on her own but also won't go upstairs on her own. She says she is scared but can't tell us why. She won't stay upstairs day or night unless someone else is upstairs with her. I hope that she grows out of this as it causes so many problems and stress on the whole family.

Feb 27, 2014
my 4 year old girl
by: Anonymous

my 4 year old girl woke screaming the other night sayin she seen a man in black in her room ever since she will not sleep on her room and is shaking and cryin and begging me to sleep with her i dont know what to do for the wee pet my heart is broke for her

Mar 06, 2014
by: Anonymous

Ok, this is a long story. So last year about 1 month before christmas, I read the hunger games and it scared the crap outta me! I'm a only child and very out going during the day.
It stopped around May. Now 3 days after thanksgiving I couldn't sleep by myself at all.(ok so I have slept on the floor in my parents room, but around 12 I come and sleep in my room with no problem. And I'm 13 btw) my parents threaten and yell and i said just wait it out like you all said. They don't listen! How can I tell them??? Please help! Just in the beginning of the night I can't sleep by my self... I feel scared in my room! And is making me stay in my room for an hour a big punishment? I think it is they don't! Please awnser!!

Apr 13, 2014
I am 13 going through the same
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what hes going through i am the same age and do the same its just on like facebook or instagram their can be scary pics of the exersist and stuff saying if u dont like they she will get u. Well like me i get scared when it happens too me. But all i do is check under my bed, in my wardrobe, shut all the doors and leave my bedroon light on all night and make sure my dog is on my bed when i go to sleep. I also like to read a book it makes u sleepy and destracted from monsters. I would suggest buying her a dog cos it really help also small steps like just sitting on the landing till she falls asleep. In early stages dont turn her light off at night then she will wake up, or to save enery put a lamp on then turn the light off. Shes not the only person who does it trust me. NOTE i am not suggesting to take her off facebook or instagram.

Apr 16, 2014
My troubles with sleep (edit)
by: 13 yr old girl serena

In addition to the comment I left above, my sister had left in grade 11 (16 yrs) and is almost finished school in grade 12, so I still sleep with her sometimes. I'm in highschool now, which is good because I'm always so busy! S

Apr 20, 2014
It Was The Same With Me
by: Anonymous

Although I maybe be a bit older, when I was about 9-10ish I was really scared to go to sleep on my own, I think that more than anything else it was the darkness, and the nightmares, I did sleep in my room, for a number of years, but I was too used to sharing with my brother, it came a shock to me, when we got our own bedrooms, because I knew that there wasn't anyone close to me, I remeber, when I got my room, I would make my mum come up to my room with me, when it was time to go to sleep, and make her sit at the end of my bed, and tuck me up, untill I fell asleep, sometimes I woke up, and found she wasn't there, and it really panicked me, so I screamed, and she came, I guess she got annoyed at having to come up to bed with me every night, so a couple of night, she wouldn't come up, it scared me, because I didn't want to have nightmares, and it made me cry, so then mum took me up, I soon realised that I didnt need mum to take me up, but I used to cry myself to sleep, but eventually I just tried to go to sleep without her, because I wanted her to feel proud of me, which she was, then after about a week, I was okay, and the problem went away, so i guess it is just a thing that some kids will have and it will just pass, but even though in fifteen now, I still sleep with the lamp on...

Apr 25, 2014
share the love
by: Anonymous

Let her sleep in your bed. She will eventually grow out of it. When she is of legal age if she is still there. Your husband or boyfriend can share his love with her. And sow some of his seed inside her too. Just see that she is comfortable. While he shares his love with her and makes her into a woman.

Apr 28, 2014
Same problem - unhappy daddy
by: Clayton

We're having the same problem. Our daughter used to sleep just fine in her own room, then all of a sudden, because of fear, she has to sleep with mommy. I'm the daddy, and I have to sleep on a separate mattress in the same room. The intimacy is destroyed between my wife and I. I feel like I'm not married any more. Our two sons are fine, and never had this problem. It's been going on for about 6 months now. Our little girl has no idea why she's scared or how it started. We'll just ride it out, if I can last that long. I have a feeling she won't grow out of it until she's 13.

May 29, 2014
im 13 icant sleep alone
by: Anonymous

i turned 13 about 17 days ago and i still sleep with my sister i tried sleeping alone but i cant i feel
that air behind me no one sleeping with me i have that scary stuff in my mind i say to my self to go somewhere nice but only thing that i can imagine that plane walls staring at me it freaks me out

May 29, 2014
a few simple solutions
by: Jimmy C.

It might be a little late in coming, but how about a few of these.

When my son was a year old, we put a fish tank in his room. The light on the fish tank became his night light. It was only on when he was in bed. His bedroom door also remained opened, as did ours. That way, he could see across the hall into our room.

Before that, I had a girlfriend who was afraid of the dark. There was a nightlight on in every room of the house. As a joke, one Christmas II gave her enough nightlights to put one in every
outlet in every room. Three dozen nightlights made the entire house look like it was lit by candles.

One last suggestion for your daughter. A dog or a cat would love to sleep on the bed. Might be a simple solution.

May 31, 2014
help me
by: Anonymous

I am only 9 i dont know why i just cant sleep alone i know it is only 10:00 but if someone is on help my parent's closed the door if i say something they will yell.

Jun 05, 2014
I have the same problem
by: Anonymous

I'm eleven and going into the 7th grade and I still cannot sleep alone. My mom really found the extent of mine when we went on vacation. It was me her and my younger brother. I was used to sleeping with one of my parents but my dad wasn't there. so i had to sleep alone. I could not sleep even though someone was in the room. What I have noticed is that I have two main fears; mirrors and anything paranormal. I believe this is why i can't sleep alone. Also, in my room I have NO blinds and my room faces out to the woods and i can hear the coyotes howling. It seriously sucks. I want to be able to but, I can't. then when I think about when I go to college how will I sleep? It feels good to write all of this down. I hope that everyone else can go through this!

Jun 09, 2014
Didn't sleep
by: Anonymous

I was just like this as a child, however my parents being harsh I wasn't allowed to leave my room or have a light on.. As soon as everyone was asleep I'd get up and turn my light on.. They would always turn it off again saying it's wasting power. Because my parents were not sensitive about my fears I'm now 30 and totally scared of the dark.. I have a child and I sleep with a light on and won't walk through the house without a light on. My husband has to travel overseas and I'm just starting to be ok on my own (last few tears) after 9 years of it. My parents thought they were doing the right thing using the hard approach and maybe it was good for me as I'm a very independent person who just happens to be frightened of the dark.. Will not be using this approach with my own children.

Jun 11, 2014
she scare
by: Anonymous

Hi...I understand all you pain and everything,my daughters 16 and is scared of being alone...she gose to bed at 10pm and awakes up around 2-3am and won't not sure what I did wrong,but she has always been scare,i now ignore her some nights but I feel that just up sets her,if there is anyone her with good advice to help please do!!!

Jun 14, 2014
I am just like your daughter!
by: Anonymous

I am 12 and I cannot sleep alone at all, I am like this because I don't feel safe in my house, I have no idea why but something about it just throws me off a little.I feel fine in the morning but at night I am terrified.

Jun 18, 2014
I grew into it and figured a way out
by: Anonymous

I used to be a child that could not sleep at friends and when I couldn't fall asleep at night I would just stare at the clock and I would then get anxiety , and that never helps. I always thought it was weird and things like that. I could never go to sleep without noise. I listened to Mozart as a baby and grew up listening to it. If it wasn't playing then I couldn't sleep. For a while when I was little I was able to sleep at friends and then one day i couldn't. I never knew why either. I still needed noise when I fell asleep like I would have to fall asleep while watching a movie. Soon it turned into me not being able to sleep without my music. I have a twin and he grew out of the music quickly and could sleep places fine. This made it worse because I became more angry at myself and blamed myself so I had more anxiety about sleeping. I always played a game where you think of a state, then a animal from there and then another state by using the second letter of the animals name. It worked because your not thinking about sleep which is keeping chemicals in you brain working like there is a problem, which triggers a primordial instinct to stay awake in order to survive. As for the music I turned it down a little each day and when I went somewhere I bring my music on a iPod and plug ear-buds in and put it in my pillow so only i would hear it. Then when i finally really couldn't hear my music I didn't turn it on and I knew I didn't need it anymore. I was 13 and determined to go to a camp and i couldn't bring an iPod so on my own I made it so I didn't need my music anymore and then I could freely sleep places without a problem

Jun 21, 2014
Helpmeet please I'm scared
by: Anonymous

Iim only 11 and I have that problem now and I want to go home I'm soo scAred but my parents are asleep and I don't want to wake themplease help me IM SOOOOOOOOOO scared and now I'm crying please HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 24, 2014
by: Jake

At night I can not sleep at all it,s like I need a peel to help me go to sleep so that why I feel so dead because nothing don't help me sleep in I a13 years old boy
It's my story

Jul 08, 2014
I can relate
by: Anonymous

I am now fourteen, and can sleep alone in my room with the door closed. All which would've been impossible for me a few months ago. I have had sleeping problem for years now, recently I went to a therapist and it was confirmed that I had separation anxiety. Which made sense, from around the ages of 5-8 i not only refused to leave my parents sided during the night but also during the day, which made attending school rather difficult for both my parents and I (tears and tantrums every morning, that continued in the classroom even after they had left). My separation anxiety never fully went away, even though I was now able to properly function alone during the day, it continued during the night up until my appointment with my therapists. For me knowing the answer to why I couldn't sleep alone was enough to fix it, when I would go to sleep I would tell myself that I wasn't alone my parents were in the room next to me. I haven't had a sleeping issue for the past 10 months (which is a record for me). I reccomend a therapist for anybody with a sleeping issue, no IT IS NOT for crazy people as most people believe it to be. It will provide you with the proper guidance and information you need to help your child. Speaking from experience, not being able to sleep alone can also be very emotionally draining for your child. One thing to keep in mind, as hard as it may be, is that it's not your child's decision to not be able to sleep alone. PATIENCE is key.

Jul 08, 2014
Advice on daughter
by: Anonymous

Hi, I feel for your problems in having a teen daughter who wont sleep in her own bed. As a father my pretty young girl was the same. However at age 13 when I felt her lying in bed next to me my body responded. I would wake up in the night and wrap my arms around her, touch her breasts and press my erection against her. She hated it but stayed in the bed. Then one night lust got the better of me and I rolled on top of her and penetrated her. She was a virgin at the time. After about a minute of grunting and thrusting, I climaxed inside her and immediately felt terrible. My penis wilted out of her body and I rolled off, panting, smelling the scent of semen and pussy. My young daughter lay sobbing in a large damp patch of jism that oozed out of her vagina. Minutes later I wanted more and slipped into her cum-sloppy little snatch.

Jul 14, 2014
I'm 15 and sleep on my parents floor
by: Anonymous

It all started when I was 14..sleep anxiety and depression, but I was able to sleep in my room. Though since two weeks ago I've been sleeping on my parents floor except for one day when I slept in my room, but I feel that they are getting fed up with me sleeping in their room...even though they are not mentioning it. Now I'm 15 and I want to sleep in my room. Can someone help? Please :(

Jul 31, 2014
My story
by: Anonymous

I'm eleven and at nights I used to scream to b with my mum and dad so much that it sounded like I was being beaten up but then one night a week I wud sleep in my parents room on the floor so for a while it stopped but then the other night I got scared and it started again how do I stop it

Btw: the first time it happened about five nights out of Seven for six months

Any help

Jul 31, 2014
by: Hi

Hi my daughter is nine and she cannot sleep on her own when she is in her own room she will cry because she is scared if she hears one single noise she will get scared what do I do I need help fast. She has her own room but one time she had a dream that in her closet there was a bear.

Aug 03, 2014
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm 11 and going through the same thing I've been sleeping with my mom and dad for months now and I get really bed anxiety my hart races like a racing horse and I'm going to a heart doctor soon my dad is in the army and when he's deployed I always sleep with my mom she has the same problems as me with anxiety and she has visitations so one night when I was asleep in mourn bed I had a visitation and it was not good I was terrified and that's when the real problems started I'm still sacred to tell u the truth it's happening this very second and I typed the up to help w please help I'm mourning right now very badly plea plz PLZ PLZ PLZ help I'm so scared plz don't ignore this

Aug 06, 2014
11 year old with sleep anxiety
by: Anonymous

I'm 11,turning 12 in September and I still can't sleep alone.
I feel like I have a really bad problem with sleeping.
My bedroom is beside the bathroom and last year I had a huge fear of Bloody Mary,that's when I stopped sleeping alone.
I don't really understand it at all anymore,I sleeved fine when I was younger.
Now I'm just scared of waking up and not being at my home or somewhere that I don't know,or not even waking up at all.
Sometimes I really wish not to wake up ever again because I have this problem. I sometimes lay in my bed and think that it doesn't matter if someone hurts me because I don't care anymore,I'm an idiot.
My mum keeps saying that our dog will bark if anyone was there,not that anyone will be there" and my nan says it's stupid,nothing's there. This morning my mum said that if I sleep on my own for a week she will redecorate it all for me and my dad said I would never be able to last a week,I want to prove him wrong but I can't just get in my bed and think it'll all be okay.will it?

Aug 07, 2014
I have the same problem !!
by: Anonymous

Hi , I was 13 in June and I can't sleep without my mum and I pdon't know why but I start to panic and cry when she's not there. I'm really worried there's something wrong with me and I hate having to sleep with her. She does not understand why I have to and is constantly bringing it up and taking my phone off me if I don't. I like independence and I'm fine during the day. It's been a problem since I was old enough to sleep by myself but my mum thought I would grow out of...

Sep 26, 2014
I have the sane problem!
by: Anonymous

I am 12 years old and I can not fall asleep without a tv on and my fish tank light but since my surgery I havnt been able to sleep alone I need my mom to sleep and she doesnt sleep with a tv but im ok with that because I have her beside me but I used to wake upvin the middle of the night to go in my parents room it sucks that I cant sleep by muself but I feel safer and more comfortable

Sep 26, 2014
I am the original blogger, GOOD NEWS!
by: Anonymous

I am the original blogger and wrote about my 13 year old daughter who could not sleep alone. That daughter is now almost 17! Happy to say she sleeps in her own room, no problems whatsoever. We had tried everything, honestly nothing really worked. She just started sleeping in her own room when she was ready, it was around 9th grade.
I will say, I have son who is 13 and he is now sleeping in my room. He started when my daughter started sleeping in her room. However, I know it is short lived and he will sleep in his own room soon. I learned from the first child, it really is not a big deal and they will figure it out. As a parent I just try to be supportive, when they are ready to try and sleep alone I support that and encourage them to keep trying. Eventually it happens!!

Sep 29, 2014
38yrs of age
by: Anonymous

I am a 38 yr old woman and I struggle to sleep alone. At times I wondered why I had a room and a bed . I would go weeks sometimes months without sleeping in my bed. I'm struggling tonight. Trying desperately to pinpoint where this all stems from.

Oct 21, 2014
Personal Story -that doesn't answer the question- NEW
by: tiphany lenk

[Note this is not my real name, I think it's a very cool name though!]
Honestly this is actually very embarrassing since I am now in HIGH SCHOOL. Freshman Year, and I trouble my mum with sleeping in her room. I have my own room, decorated and nicely organized. I really like being in my room. From when I get home from school till 9:00pm. Being a 14 year old in High School and sleeping with her mum is not something you just tell everyone. I do agree with the comment of saying how that person started sleeping alone when they got independent. Mostly because I'm in fact growing independent myself and I want to sleep by myself now. Though I'm too much of a wimp and I still can't manage to sleep by myself. I only recall one memory of me sleeping by myself, which was when I came home around 7 o'clock, sat on the couch and simply just knocked out. >-< This has nothing to do with anything but I need to post it somewhere! "Leaf meh alonz"
I'm just glad I'm not the only child who does this, boost my self esteem so much.. Hopefully I'll sleep alone by the end of 2014.
If not by then, I really have a problem.

Oct 22, 2014
My two cents about growing up with sleep separation anxiety NEW
by: Lizzy

Although I don't know how much use this will be, I thought maybe someone would like to hear form a now young adult who grew up being unable to sleep alone do to extreme separation anxiety would occur when trying to rest. I am currently twenty years old and slept in my parents bed until I was fourteen. I had simillar issues of waking paniced at the idea of being alone. I would make one of my parents go to sleep when I went to sleep regardless of what they were doing. It was so bad that my father was forced to sleep in my room while I slept in their room with my mother. I had become to large for the three of us to be comfortable in one bed. My issues didn't let up until I entered my first relationship. Only then was I able to fall asleep in my own bed because I had him on the other line to talk to. Every night I'd fall asleep on the with him on the other end. Some nights the anxiety would wake me up and instead of frantically looking for my parents, I was dialing his number walking him up in the middle of the night. Time has progressed and relationships have come and gone. I have slowly become more independent about sleeping alone, although the anxiety still disrupts me some nights.

Oct 29, 2014
I cant sleep at night NEW
by: Anonymous

Im 15 and i find it really hard sleeping in the night. Before i go to bed i usually started getting anxious and i ask my parents to stay up until i fall asleep.
Also i cant sleep without the hallway light on and my dad hates it and is trying to stop it but i would just keep turning it back on.
I just wanted to say to people like me, your not alone and that im going badly through this too.
Is their any suggestions which can help me?

Oct 30, 2014
can't sleep alone either NEW
by: A teen girl

Hey ... i'm 15 years old nd next month i m turning 16 years old and i can't sleep alone i still sleep with my mom besides me i m afraid of dark ... afraid of so many things i also get a realky bad dreams which makes me wake up shaking nd screaming so i have no idea what i m going to do because can't even sleep with my sisters in their own rooms so if there's any tipthat could of help me i would lovr to hear it cuz that makes mr a bit awkward :p Thanks ...

Oct 31, 2014
Thank you all! NEW
by: Anonymous

My daughter is going to be 12 next Friday and still in not sleeping on her own. As a parent, I felt that I "failed her" somehow. Now,reading through this forum I am no I am not alone and am motivated to try some of the suggestions that you stated.:) I will keep you posted.

Nov 01, 2014
I'm an 11 year old who can't sleep alone NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm so glad I came across this blog! I've always thought I was a freak for not being able to sleep at night and I always thought I was the only one at this age to still have these problems and I really want to sleep in my own room!!! My mum has got me a new bed and everything redecorated and I feel bad for not sleeping in it...

Nov 01, 2014
I'm an 11 year old who can't sleep alone NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm so glad I came across this blog! I've always thought I was a freak for not being able to sleep at night and I always thought I was the only one at this age to still have these problems and I really want to sleep in my own room!!! My mum has got me a new bed and everything redecorated and I feel bad for not sleeping in it...

Nov 17, 2014
me too NEW
by: Anonymous

Im 12 almost 13. i have the same problem and hate it. Its embarrasing

Nov 20, 2014
by: Walrus

I am twelve as well and can't sleep in my own bed either. Ever since I was four, I just can't seem to sleep without someone in the room. I just think of all the things that scare me when I am alone and can't escape from it. It has been effecting me and my parents and is very frustrating. We have tried everything from sleep masks to bribing to special herbs and spices. If I do fall asleep I wake up and almost dive into my parents' bed. I don't know what to do, please help me!

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About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

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The Stanford Sleep Book

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Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

How This Site Was Made

In 2007 I discovered a guide to website building that would change my life. After learning from it diligently, it would eventually empower me to help Dr. Dement take his life's mission of spreading education about sleep health to the online world. Now, several years later, this site reaches over 100,000 visitors per month and counting.

The results are due in large part to the methods taught in that guide, and they are replicable for others who have knowledge of a subject they would like to share with the masses. I've detailed some of my journey here for those who might be interested.

Important Disclaimer

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