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My Daughter Cannot Sleep Alone, She Is Now 13

by Anonymous

My daughter has such anxiety about sleeping alone, she panics every time we "make" her sleep by herself. When she finally falls asleep with someone lying down with her, she is up within an hour checking to see if someone is still there. It is not restful sleep.

She claims she has awful dreams when she sleeps alone. We had her sleeping on a mattress in our room, which she did fine as long as one of us were going to bed at the same time as she was going to bed. We don't know what to do, she has a true anxiety about this and you can see her fear when she even thinks about sleeping by herself. She is able to sleepover at her friends houses and she has friends sleepover, as long as they are sleeping with her.

We have discussed talking to someone, she states "Im not crazy" I don't need to talk to some stranger. She is very bright and does phenomenal in school.

We need help.




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My Daughter Cannot Sleep Alone, She Is Now 13

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Jan 05, 2011
 I can relate
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. My daughter is only 8 and feel we are headed on the same path your daughter is already on. We have taken our daughter to see her pediatrician and to a psychiatrist with no help. We have tried everything. I do give her melatonin, but that just makes her fall asleep, it does not keep her asleep. she constantly is in a state of panic when she awakens at night. When she does stay at friend's house she tells me that she is up all night and afraid to tell someone she is scared. I wish you luck on your journey to good sleep.
Jan 08, 2011
 Thank you for your response
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your response, it makes me feel better knowing others are in the same boat. I did speak to a friend whose daughter is in high school and has similar issues, she did grow out of it. So, Im hopeful!!
Feb 20, 2011
 So we are not alone
by: Anonymous

We are having the same trouble with our 8 year old. We are at our wits end with it as our 5 year old son sleeps by himself and goes to sleep on his own.
I can see the fear in her eyes and she just cries and begs us not to leave her. She falls asleep with one of us sitting with her but within an hour or two she awakes and climbs silently into our bed.
She is desperate to have her best friend sleep over but we don't want to risk the night dramas that might happen.
Mar 08, 2011
 I used to be that daughter that couldn't sleep!- it will pass
by: Anonymous

I am 21 year old in college and its funny because i am studying for a test for my early childhood major, but i just felt like it would be helpful to ease your minds on the sleeping issue... you see i was exactly like that. It started when i was around eight and lasted up until i was 11/12 I was for some reason terrified to be ALONE and the only one AWAKE in the house. I was in bed by nine thirty / ten nightly and i would try so hard to fall asleep before my dad would go to bed which was at 11 everynight. When i heard him turning the lights and tv off i would start to panic. i have no idea why i was so anxious about it now but it was really hard on my parents and me. However by age 12 i started to get more independent i think alot of things changed just due to maturation. around this time i began and loved to talk to my friends on the phone, luckily my parents were very cool about this (plus we had caller ID so they would know if i was talking too late and they knew who i was talking too hah)
it was like one day i just wanted to be alone and hangout with friends and would be annoyed by my parents, when before i couldnt sleep without them in my room! its crazy but trust me, once your daughter goes into that stage where popularity is the most important thing with a mind set that she is 'toooo cool' for you anymore, the problem will end!
Mar 08, 2011
 I am hoping it will get better!
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the reassurance. I do hope my daughter will begin transitioning into her own room/sleeping by herself, to be more independent. Time will tell.
Jul 23, 2011
 13 year old with anxiety about sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Hi i spend a lot of time researching this problem.My son is now 13, very confident popular boy, will go out anywhere with friends during the day until whatever time a long as he does not have to sleep anywhere. When he was 7 we went away for the night and left him with friends, he was unwell and very afraid i was not there, after that became very anxious about me leaving him. This improved but he has always had a fear of me leaving him at night. He likes me to stay up until he is asleep, i often lay with him and end up staying in his room all night, if we go on holiday he gets quite anxious about the room not having a tv, he feels better if the tv is on when he falls asleep. If i told friends of his problem they would be very shocked as he is such a confident boy, but it really gets him and us down as he misses out on school camp and sleepovers. I keep thinking i should seak professional help.
Aug 10, 2011
 Yeah, she is sleeping!!!
by: Anonymous

I am happy to report that my daughter has been sleeping in her own bed/room now for 1 month. We allow her to keep the TV on as long as its muted and the brightness is lowered. We think eventually she will gain the confidence to shut the TV off. However, we are just taking it one step at a time. I am the original post and did feel so helpless, it is finally happening! Thanks for all your comments.
Aug 12, 2011
 read
by: shjjdjkfjkjkfjflfldjhdjh

Hi. I'm turning 12 and I'm going through what you're daughters going through. I hate it. I can't sleep alone at all,yet I don't know why. I always need someone to sleep next to me. Trust me, it stinks.
Aug 15, 2011
 13 year old son with sleep anxiety
by: Anonymous

Hi,intresting to read your comments, my son is the previous post, during the summer holidays i intended to get firm and sort it out but he has had a few nights where he has felt very anxious when going to bed, so i suppose its my fault to i just reassure him i will stay awake next to him until he is asleep. I no i have got to get tough with him and try and leave him to get to sleep on his own but i cannot face the anxiety it causes him at times. To the young girl that posted before...will you go on school over night trips, or to friends for sleepovers... my son will not and it really frustrates him that he cannot....
Aug 19, 2011
 same issue. but mines almost 14!
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain, my grand daughter is almost 14 and she has no mum and dad and has had and awful past with drugs and abuse involved in the child hood. She is unable to sleep around her friends and can only sleep with me! If I was to make her sleep in her own room.. She will stay up all night crying like a baby, does anyone think this could be because of her past? Or she has mental issues?
Aug 21, 2011
 I feel for you all....
by: Anonymous

I think it is a "true" anxiety and as the previous girl who is 12 posted, she hates it. I do think the kids really want to sleep by themselves but have such such anxiety. I think that a lot of things play into it, not any one particular thing specifically. I really think it evolves and in time works out, but that it is just a lot of support by the parents/grandparents and reassurance to the child that there is nothing wrong with them, a lot of kids have this issue and in time it will work itself out. It takes a lot of patience on the part of the parent/grandparent. I feel for you all, but am happy to say that my daughter is doing ok right now and is sleeping alone. One day at a time.
Aug 31, 2011
 My daughter can not sleep alone
by: Anonymous

She is an outgoing regular kid by day and by bed time the whole family becomes fustrated by her sleep demands.
She has a medical history which I do belive adds to her sleep anxiety.
We have not sought Therapy and medication would be out of the question.I'm hoping things will change with time but it seems the more we give in the worse it becomes.
she shares a room with her sibling but still requires someone right next to her!
Sep 25, 2011
 ASSURANCE I AM NOT ALONE
by: Anonymous

I have a 8 year old and feel so reassured that I am not alone, she has nver stayed asleep all night since day one, she is 1 of 3 children the other great.
We have got her to go to sleep, sharing a room with her younger sister but every night she wakes up and goes next to me and falls fast asleep and if im not there she will seek the house for me, I so need sleep, it realy effects the whole family.
Thank you for your encouragement knowing I am not alone as when you talk to other parents they tut.
Sep 25, 2011
 I have this problem too
by: Anonymous

hi, i am 13 and i have the same issue. i am terrified of sleeping alone. i dont care to sleep alone at mothers house, but at my dads house, i cant sleep by myself. i dont know why but i think it is so scary because no one knows what i am going through and they dont understand how hard it is. i wish i didnt have this problem but whenever my dad mentions me sleeping alone, i start crying and begging him not to make me sleep alone. i sleep at the end of my dad and stepmothers bed every night i am there. :( please help i dont know what to do...
Sep 29, 2011
 To the 13 year old :
by: Anonymous

I feel your anguish. Don't feel like there is "something wrong" with you just because you have this anxiety. There is nothing wrong with you and I promise it will get better. You will eventually be able to sleep alone. If its the room at your Dad's house that makes you "scared" then try and identify what it is in the room that scares you, for example- noises, listen to them and figure them out, so that when they occur while you are alone in the room you can tell yourself, "oh yeah that is just..... nothing to be afaid of." Also, if its spaces in the room- confront them before bed so you know all is clear. I will check my daughters closets for her before she goes to sleep. Lastly, calm/relaxing music and reading always help the mind unwind. Just know, it will get better and you will sleep in your own bed at some point, its a process but it will happen. There is nothing wrong with you. Don't be discouraged.
Oct 19, 2011
 HELP! I can't get my daughter to sleep alone!
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem with my daughter. She is 12 years old, super popular cheerleader, always on the go; however, when bedtime comes, it's BAD!!! She slept alone until this past summer and NOW she wants to sleep in my floor or she'll insist on staying with her dad. I would never take time away from she and her dad, however, he allows her to sleep in the same room. I don't agree with this at all! Can someone please tell me what to do or how to fix this daily nightmare???
Oct 19, 2011
 In response to your 12 yr old daughter
by: Anonymous

Due to the fact that it just started over this past summer and she was sleeping alone prior to that, just fine. I think what I would suggest is to try and identify with her the very moment that she started this fear and what had was leading up to that moment. If there is nothing you can pinpoint, the realty is she is fearful- its a valid fear, as much as you don't want her in your room, she doesnt either. But its an overwhelming fear. Its so hard as the parent to see such anguish. However, it does work itself out. It really does, the only thing that baffles me about your daughter is that she was fine up until this past summer. I would really look for a source of the fear. It may be something you could easily identify and work through. Good Luck and hang in there, it really does get better.
Oct 23, 2011
 Im 13 and Im terrifies to be alone @ night!!!
by: Anonymous

Hi I am 13 and am terrified to sleep by myself! I hate it. My parents have tried so many things to help me. Im so scared I cant even be in a room alone @ night by myself. I just have a mattress in my parents room where I sleep every night.
I feel like such a baby :( but some of your comments help me know i am not alone thank you!!!
Oct 30, 2011
 To the 13yo struggling with sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Please know that you are definitely NOT ALONE. I bet there are friends that you have who also struggle with this issue. You just are not aware ot it. It will pass, I promise. You just need to keep trying and don't get down on yourself. One of these days, you will see its ok to be in your room and you are ok at night. Keep trying. It will happen.
Nov 07, 2011
 I am the original thirteen year old
by: Anonymous

My mom just shared this blog with me,that she started and i would like to tell you my feelings. I had struggled with the problem for almost 8 years. It made me feel like something was wrong with me every single time i had to go to bed at night and couldn't stay in my room. I cried every night to my parents and had to beg them to let me sleep on the floor in their room no matter how long it took to persuade them to let me. Eventually there was something that came over me that made me feel comfortable enough to stay in my room all night. It took a while for me to fall asleep when i first started, but it started getting better each night. I started over the summer, and so it didn't matter to me when i fell asleep, but there was something telling me that i needed to do it. Whenever i couldnt do it, i felt like there was something wrong with me and theres NOTHING wrong with any of you with this problem. You will eventually get through this issue, even though it may take sometime to do so. It took me years to get over the fear but i have been sleeping alone without a problem for about 5 months now. good luck, it'll happen someday.
Nov 23, 2011
 Sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

I just want to say that this is not a big problem. It is inconvenient but not a problem. And, the child is fine, they just
Feel so safe with someone beside them that whe they are alone there is a void and it is a fear of getting scared.

The fears are irrational, usually images and thoughts created in the imagination. Ceative people can be affected by this.
I am 41 years Old now and my son is dealing with the same
Problem. I am very understanding because I had the same anxiety and I was well into my teens before I was able to outgrow it. And that is exactly what happened, eventually I just outgrew it. But it took a long time to feel completely comfortable.

Parents, relax there is nothing wrong with your child, they just have a soft heart, treasure it, they will be grown up and out of the house in the blink of an eye.

Child do not be ashamed and be proud and celebrate all your other strengths, soon you will be strong enough to conquer this obstacle, but don't rush, you will know when you are ready.

In closing I just want to say, work on the strength of your mind by looking forward, whe you start thinking of the things that frighten you, force your mind to think forward to the morning and the activities of the next day.
Nov 28, 2011
 thanks
by: yfeemom

Thank you all so much for the comments! I of course "Googled" how do I convince my 11 yr old daughter to sleep alone & this was the blog that I found. yay me! My patience are running really thin now with this deal & these comments have been really helpful!! My daughter has expressed that she is truly scared. We have told her to leave the light on, tv, etc. We have promised major rewards but she still won't sleep all night by herself. Funny thing is...she can sleep by herself in the early morning hours say from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. by herself....just not all night. For my sanity I just stopped trying to get up after she falls asleep at night. Thanks again, I will pass this info. to my husband & tell him we are not alone!
Nov 30, 2011
 My soon-to-be 15 year old daughter can't sleep alone
by: Lynn

I just googled in "my daughter can't sleep alone" and came across this site. Until last May, my daughter always slept alone. Just before year end exams she said she watched "Paranormal Activities" with the kids at school and has been unable to sleep alone since that viewing. At first I thought it was anxiety about upcoming exams, but those came and went and the problem has continued. Her therapist suggested only allowing her to sleep on my floor which she did last night after a major meltdown at 12:30am. The last thing she said to me around 1am was "I'm so sorry" which broke my heart. Her inability to sleep is affecting her health and her mood and I am exhausted. Is it better to let her sleep in my room and if so - in my bed, on the couch, on the floor??? I have stayed in her room - either lying next to her or sitting in a chair. However, within 30 minutes of my leaving she finds her way to my room. I just don't know the right thing to do. I will show her the blog tonight - maybe that would help
Dec 09, 2011
 son has anxiety
by: son has anxiety

I have this issue with my son he has anxiety all the time, and takes medicine for it. I really think it is his anxiety that makes it so he cannot sleep. My husband thinks this is awful. I have gone from sleeping with him, to him sleeping on the floor in my room. If I am with him he will sleep all night. If I am not he will be awake all night. I say what ever I am tired- but my husband insists that he sleep alone. Ugh my four year old has no problems, which makes it harder to explain to my husband. Does anyone have suggestions on things that work. If I put him to sleep in his room he will wake up and come into my room. Tonight we decided that he needs to sleep in his room, so we will see how the night goes- I imagine this is not going to be good!
Dec 11, 2011
 I am the original blogger
by: Anonymous

In reponse to what to do, I feel in retrospect that the best thing to do is allow them to sleep on the floor in your room. After all that anguish and my daughters tears, it worked out when I just let it go. When I said, fine sleep in my room on the floor, she did. I continued to say, "what will help you sleep in your own room at night?" There were times she had ideas and other times the answer was "nothing". The child truely wants to sleep in their own room, they really really do, it takes a lot of patience from the parents. The child WILL eventually sleep in their own room. As you can see by this blog, this is much more common than you may have thought. I would share this with your spouse and your child. Because its sooooo important for your child to know that this is common, they are not "abnormal". It will happen!
Dec 11, 2011
 i know what its like
by: Anonymous

im so glad im not the only one my 12 year old daughter still sleeps with us to but when we bring up the topic she gets md
Dec 21, 2011
 my son is nearly 13 and won't sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I'm so glad i'm not alone with this problem..my son is nearly 13 and a confident, popular boy during the day but when it comes to bedtime he just won't sleep alone...i've taken him to my GP who said he WILL grow out of it and gave him medication to help him but to no avail..I blame myself as breastfed him as a baby and used to put him into bed with me during the night to feed him where we always fell to sleep...we've tried everything.... decorating his bedroom several times to make it feel comfortable....and to wat he wants, we've left the tv on and music but nothing works...I have a 10 year old daughter who has never had any problems with sleeping...he really, really panics when it comes to bedtime and you can see the anxiety on his face and that really really he does want to sleep alone but just can't....I really don't know what else we can try as we seemed to have tried everything for him...but he always just says I don't like being alone and want comfort.... :-) <3 xx
Dec 22, 2011
 To the Mom of the 13yo struggling with sleeping alone
by: Anonymous

Please don't blame yourself. Your son will grow out of this issue. I did not breast feed my daughter and she had this issue. I did breast feed my son, he is fine sleeping alone. So, I don't think there is a link there.
In regards to my daughter, we tried everything-changed her room about 5 times, tried rewards-items, money, privelages,etc... nothing worked. Finally, over school break I said to her, why don't you try sleeping alone again. My daughter is an all A's student, well adjusted, confident. By waiting for the school break, it took away the anxiety of "having" to fall asleep because school was the next day. This way she could just fall asleep whenever and not have to wake up a special time the next day. Well, it finally worked she is 14 now and sleeps alone. I must say, she doesnt love it- but will do it. As she did it more and more, she felt more comfortable. So, keep trying and he will sleep alone, just takes a lot of patience on parents part and reassurance to the child-they are normal and as you can see, a lot of kids have this issue. Who wouldnt with this crazy world we live in- just turn on the evening news and its scary! Hope this helps:)
Dec 22, 2011
 An Idea??
by: Lynn

Has anyone tried hypnotism for this issue?
Dec 24, 2011
 I am the same
by: Anonymous

It is horrible. I am 11 and I have had this prob scine i was 8. I have had to sleep with my mum because i try really hard when i am on my own and i just think to myself oh my god i am the only one awake then I break down and cry. It started when i had to sleep with my brother because we had guests in our house for a while. Then i got used tO sleeping with someone. I hope there is a chance for me to be normal again.
Dec 25, 2011
 To the 11yo above
by: Anonymous

YOU ARE NORMAL!! Really, this is a very common issue, not a "problem". You absolutely will grow out of it. Continue to try different options about sleeping alone- especially on school breaks, so you don't have anxiety about not getting enough sleep for school. Eventually, you will be able to do it without crying and you will see that it gets easier and easier. Don't feel like you are abnormal, look at all the people in this blog alone, thats just the tip of the iceberg. Hang in there, it will happen!
Dec 27, 2011
 I Have The Same Problem
by: ...

I turned 12 in September and i thought i would be able to sleep alone by this time, apparently I was wrong. I slept with my sister though out all the years but this year she is going off to university and I just can't seem to be able to sleep alone I dont know y that is. When I small I was breastfed and I slept with my mom. When I was about 8-9 yrs old my dad told me to go to bed and just say to myeself "I will sleep alone" about 20 times I was fine and I convinced myself to seep alone at that time but now that I'm 12 I just can't. I thought I was abnormal to have this problem but now I know that i am not the only person and I constantly search " How to make a 12 year old sleep alone" on google but I never get a proper solution.
But Thank You All For Making Me Feel Like I'm Not Alone in this.
PS: My parents have tried alot of different things but nothing seems to work with me
Jan 02, 2012
 Still hpeing things will get better!!
by: Anonymous

Hi to To all of you!! i commented on this forum back in July, my son 13 has not slept alone since he was 8, i blame myself as a lot of mothers do on here. Now he is going through a phase where he really does want his own space and be in his own room, i think it is getting him down as he feels very embarased about it. So in the christmas break we have tried, i suggested he go to bed in his room and try and watch tv relax...but sure enough after 2 hours he is back in our room saying he cannot sleep. I really worry for him as i cannot see how he can improve.He also never goes on sleepovers and would never go to schoolcamp, which he hates as he is a very popular boy with lots of friends.He also does very well at school and never minds going to friends houses for hours on end as long as he can come home to sleep. We are invited to stay at friends at easter and im dreading it as, unless he can sleep with me or his dad he will get very anxious. My husband has a lot less patients than me and refuses to believe that there i a problem, and says he could sleep alone if he really wanted to. Ido not agree i worry that he will not grow out of it!! I wonder weather i would help if i showed him these posts as im sure he worries hes not normal.Well thanks to everyone that comments here, its good to no we are not alone, lets hope the kids can get over it!
Jan 04, 2012
 To the last two comments above
by: Anonymous

I am the original blogger, once again I can't stress enough, how common this issue really is. To the 12 yo struggling with this issue, it will happen. It really will and in the meantime you just keep trying, you do whatever little quirks make you feel safe and comfortable before you go to bed and keep trying. My daughter can sleep alone now, she is now 14! However, if given the opportunity she would always take sleeping on the floor in my room over sleeping in her own room. My daughter has a "routine" of checks- is the front door locked, the back door, etc... before she will go to sleep in her own room. We go through the checks and whatever else that makes her feel safe and comfortable. She does leave the TV on but no volume and on low brightness. At present, this is working. But it wasnt just "snap" one day she changed, it was a real gradual transition and I would say she is still getting use to it. So, keep trying and it will happen, just know- there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!
To the Mom of the 13yo boy, I shared the blog with my daughter many months after I started it. I shared it because I wanted her to see that she is "normal". My daughter felt like she had "issues" because of this sleep thing. I think at some point you may want to share it with him. I know he will sleep in his own room, I know the husbands don't understand and do get impatient-been there! Just hang in there, it sounds like by just spending more time in his room, he is getting more comfortable in there. My daughter started the same way- initially spending more alone time in her room during the day, eventually sleeping in there. So, hang in there, I think the time is coming soon.
Jan 04, 2012
 13 year old wont sleep alone!
by: annon

my 13year old daughter wont sleep alone in her bedroom anymore.at night she goes to her sisters bed and feels secure to fall asleep. This started about 3 years ago, when she went camping with her friends overnight. she came back scared and with bronchities.
What really concerns me about my daughter not being able to sleep alone is that she is missing out on lots of school overnight trips. For example on the latest school trip i picked her up at her hotel at 10pm because she was too anxious to sleep there even though her frends were in the same room. i had her back the next morning at 7am so most people didnt even know she was gone. She loves being around her friends during the day and is very popular; but when they invite her over for a sleepover she wont go because of this problem.
i have tried many things including changing her room around, every natural remedy to help her relax. she has decided by herself that she wants to see a shrink to help her.
how could i help her feel more secure?
thank you, my daughter really enjoyed reading your bloges and was happy to find out she wasnt the only one with this problem!!

annie from italy.
Jan 04, 2012
 To the lady from Italy
by: Anonymous

I think you are doing everything you can, the most important thing is to support her. It is an anxiety, she will get through it. She really will, she just needs to keep trying and as long as she feels you are behind her supporting her, she will get there. By you supporting her it just reduces the angst she already is feeling. The kids want to sleep alone, they just get overwhelmed with fear. Keep the lines of communication open and it will happen. I use to crawl into my sisters bed when I was in High School if I was scared. My daughter doesnt have a sister, so she comes to me. Thats ok. It absolutely will get better. It really will.
Jan 05, 2012
 can anyone give me advice
by: Anonymous

i've been having problems with my daughter sleeping for years. she is 14 this year and still needs me to be with her until she fulls asleep she doesn't like anyone being asleep before her. she has done sleepovers and school holidays with a few tears!She gets frustrated if she cannot get to sleep and then messes around for attention this can last 2 hours. I have seeked medical advice but nothing works will this ever end.my 10 year old is now copying her behaviour.
Jan 05, 2012
 In response to your 14 yr old
by: Anonymous

Its probably going to happen real soon, that she will begin to sleep alone. I think as they enter high school years they begin spending more time in their rooms and inevitabley get more comfortable in there. We too had tried pretty much everything from sleeping on the floor in her room, to allowing the dog to sleep in her room, we changed her room around, we allowed the TV on which she does keep doing now. She mutes it and turns the brightness to low. Its kind of like a big night light. I check her closets for her before saying good night, we go through a routine where she will ask if I locked all the doors. I then say good night. So far, its working. She would prefer to sleep in my room on the floor and occasionally I let her. But she is doing great now. Keep trying whatever makes your child feel safe and take baby steps, you will get there.
Jan 05, 2012
 Thanks
by: annie from italy

Thank you all for making us feel not so alone. It was a revelation for my daughter to find out she was not alone. Do you think it would be good for the kids to share their experiences with each other? Just a thought. Even though we live in Italy we all speak fluent english
A
Jan 05, 2012
 Hypnotism Anyone?
by: Anonymous

My 15 year old daughter developed a fear of sleeping alone 6 months ago. She claims it was due to having watched a movie called "Paranormal Activity" with her friends. I believe the issue relates to a high level of anxiety over a host of issues. She is fine with sleep overs because there is someone else in the room. But she cannot sleep alone. Even if she falls asleep in her room she always wakes up and comes to my room. A friend suggested hypnosis. My daughter's therapist didn't see any harm. Just wondering has anyone ever tried hypnosis?
Jan 05, 2012
 I need help
by: Anonymous

I feel your alls pain im 11 going to turn 12 in just a few months and some nights i just lay there awake and everyso often i look over at the clock to see what time it is i see its 10:30 so i get nervous and ty to go to sleep so after what i think is 10 minutes of not being able to go to sleep i look over at my clock to see that it it 11:00 and i have school the nextday THEN I START TO PANIC and so i get my stuff from my bed and go sleep on my moms floor and some times i just lay there and cry and sometimes i just fall right to sleep and i just dont know what to do and how to get out of this weird sleeping pattern please help me anyone please!!!! :'(
Jan 05, 2012
 To the comments above
by: Anonymous

I do think Hypnosis is worth a try, you have nothing to lose. I just wonder if its really helpfu. Let us know.

I think the reason most kids find this blog reassuring is that they realize that there are many people with this issue and they are not alone. The reason they are unaware of this is that no teen/preteen is going to tell any of their friends that they have this issue. I think its a very sensitive subject and would be difficult to share with their peers.

In regards to the 11 yo above, try and identify what it is in your room that is preventing you from falling asleep. Is is noises? Closets? Are you conjuring up stories in your head of scarey things that could happen? What ever you identify try and reduce the anxiety by facing that fear. I check my daughters closest for her before she goes to sleep, I reiterate to her that the doors are all locked. If she starts having weird thoughts I tell her to pray, if you don't pray then meditate- say a positive thought over and over in your head, or think of a repetitive thing like counting backwards, subtracting 5 from 100 and so on. Something to get your mind off the bad thoughts and help you relax and become fatigued. Stay away from stimulating TV right before bed, try relaxing music like a beach sound and/or rain drops. These are all suggestions, it will eventually happen for you. It really will, just keep trying and you will see it happens. Just know, YOU ARE NORMAL!
Jan 06, 2012
 Mum of 13 year old boy ...
by: Anonymous

Hi again im from the eariler post..to the mum who suggested maybe we should get the kids talking i think this would be good for them...i find this site a great help...all the kids have the same pattern and its so good to no there is a good chance they will grow out of it...but if any of you mums are like me a lot of nights i just let him sleep in our room because i am to tired to go through the routine of him trying to stay in his room then about midnight comeing in anyway..then hes upset because he has failed . Hes saying he would like to try and stay at a friends house but he needs to stay in his own room first. Thank god we are not alone..thanks for all the advice it really helps x
Jan 06, 2012
 In reference to above
by: Anonymous

In reponse to the comment above, I think when the child starts spending more alone time in their room its definitely a start. I find the best time to "work on" trying to have them sleep alone is on the weekends or school break. There is just too much anxiety on the childs part and the parents to try on a night when you know they have to be up in the morning. So, I did allow my daughter to sleep on the floor in my room without even attempting for her to sleep alone in her room on the nights she had school the next day. I would always ask her to try on the weekends/breaks from school. It did just eventually happen, in retrospect she did spend more alone time in her room prior to the breakthrough. Now its not ideal but she does it, she would still prefer to sleep in my room but can sleep in her own room. I occasionally let her sleep on my floor now but not consistently because I don't want to lose the ground we gained. Now I have my 10yo son sleeping on the floor. I think he is just mirroring his sister, its not as much of an anxiety for him like it was for his sister. Bad habit, is more like it for my son. Im just too tired to keep trying so Im waiting on him.
Jan 08, 2012
 13 year old
by: Anonymous

My 13 year old daughter is like all the other children described here. She has a real anxiety about going to sleep and being awake when we are asleep. She wont go on sleep overs. She shares a room with her 10 year old brother and will go to sleep if we are up but sometimes is afraid she wont get to sleep in time so frets. We have told her she can't sleep on the floor in our room anymore. We have told her it is the thoughts in her mind that is making her scared and that they will eventually go away but she has to try to think of nice things. I have told her that is ok to be awake when everyone is asleep. I wake up every night and am awake for sometimes over an hour and I am ok. that seems to soothe her a little. Can anyone tell me what they have done to help their kids get over this?
Jan 09, 2012
 mum of 13 year old boy
by: Anonymous

Im the mum of the 13 year old boy in the above comments.To the post above, i have no answers for you, but i am finding these posts a help that we are not alone. My son is a very confident boy who does very well at school, but ths issue in his life really gets him down, he even gets anxious if we go on holiday about the sleeping arrangements so i feel like not bothering again until we have this sorted, but i cannot see an end to it..i am considerng seeing a therapist..but do not want to make more of an issue of it. Also he would love to go on school trips and feels really embrased when he is the only one in the class who does not go....He has had this problem for about 5 years.
Jan 12, 2012
 will let you know what therapist said
by: annie from italy

Hi again from sunny Italy. My daughter has chosen her own therapist and this week will be the second time she is going. after that we will meet with the therapist and I will fill you in on what she said. i think my daughter will start posting on this blog very soon so I hope your kids answer. No sites like this here so good thing she is fluent in english. get back to you asap
a
Jan 12, 2012
 In response to latest submission on 13 yr old
by: Anonymous

My daughter is exactly the same. We made the mistake of allowing her to sleep in our room for almost a month. We went to a motel one night and she couldn't sleep in a bed next to us only 1 arms length away and wanted to sleep on the floor in between our beds. Crazy! so I shared her double bed. This is what made us realise we need to try something. We told her she has to go to sleep in her room from now on and cant be in our room. Two days of tears and trepidation followed and lots of talking. We have figured out that her fear is being the last person awake. We have made a deal that we will check on her before we go to bed (as we always do)but if she is not asleep yet we will stay with her and one of us will sleep in her room. (tiny steps) She has always taken ages to go to sleep which is half of the problem but the good thing is she says the fear has gone away because she feels the security that we will be there if she needs us. The first two nights we had to sleep in her room. The third night she fell asleep but woke at 4am after a bad dream and came to wake us so I went to sleep the rest of the night with her. We have congratulated her as she has achieved a major milestone - she is no longer going to sleep in our room and is trying to sleep in her room and she says she is not scared. Let's see what happens next. We are going away for a week so it may be a step backwards but at least its a start. She has been like this since she saw a scary movie when she was 8 years old. she is now 13. I shared a couple of these blogs with her and she was very interested that there were other children like her out there. she thought she was the only one. I am interested to see how the Italian daughter goes with the therapist.
Jan 12, 2012
 12 year old daughter dosent like being alone
by: alison uk

just googled that my daughter whom is 12 wont sleep alone and this site popped up and after reading all the post i feel i am not alone my daughter as adhd and isnt a great sleeper anyway and we have tried everything from rewards to shouting(not proud of that)so she is still sleeping with me and poor dad is on the floor.she is ok sleeping in her own room if someone is with her but feels sad and very upset when she is alone but after reading these post feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel so will pop back when things have got better
Jan 13, 2012
 I was that kid - my story..
by: Natalie

Dear all, as I was reading this I felt the urge to share my experience with fear of being alone, because I used to be that kid. Now I am also a mother and can share both sides. Please note, that I am not a psychologist.....

I didn't sleep alone until the age of 13. My mom slept in my bed until then - you can imagine the marriage problems my parents encountered through this. When I turned 13, my grandmother died and my mother went to Thailand for the funeral. So, there I was, alone with my Dad and 2 sisters. I was terrified, didn't know how I can survive 2 weeks without my mom. It was a hard awakening. During that time I've substituted my mom through listening to music and the radio, that actually really did help.

I think the cause of this fear, at least in my case, starts in early childhood. My mom told me when I was 2 or 3 I wouldn't go to sleep and cried for hours if she wouldn't have stayed with me. The thing is, she gave in, which I think was the problem. Children that age are trying to see how far they can go. If you give in, they'll get used to not being alone at night and once they reach a certain age, it is hard to get out of that habit, harder than at age 2 or 3. Eventually your child will have to sleep alone someday, right?

Now that I am a mother myself, this is what I did and it worked great-
It will be a couple rough nights during early childhood, but the child will learn to love sleeping in its own bed and that it is normal and okay. My daughter is having her own room since she is one. I used a baby camera all along the way. She tried to get me to sleep with her until she fell asleep, and actually, as a full-time working mother, it was hard to not give in because I needed my sleep. I stuck to it, and had one week of tough, but after that it hasn't been an issue since. I always told her that if she is scared or something is up, she can always come to us, and I left the light on in the hallway and told her every day that there is nothing to be scared of. Being calm and looking confident in what you say or do is a big deal to children as they trust you in case of their safety.

To those of you who have issues at the moment, maybe try to find a soothing substitute. Like music, or audio drama, leave a little light on in the bedroom and hallway. When my mom left, my Dad bought a kitten... I totally owned that kitten, she slept in my room, I think that also helped. She slept in my bed and I liked to feel her warmth . If it is a habit you need to break, try moving furniture, buy new bedding, or even a new bed. Good luck to you all and remember, this problem WILL solve itself with time if none of it works :)
Jan 16, 2012
 Another 11 year old , that can not sleep alone
by: Anonymous

I am another parent having this same issues , sleepless nights , I started sleeping between my two daughters to keep them from talking to each other all night,now my oldest will not sleep alone , when she is sleeping and i getup she tells me ,where you going total panic , its hard on me and my husband . am not alone on this .wow this is hard .I hope we can make it.but thank you for assuring me its common.
Jan 20, 2012
 Just got back from the psychologist
by: annie from italy

Well we finally had our first meeting with the psychologist who has been following my daughter. I must say I was prepared for the worst but after an hour I was totally relieved. She was very impressed with my daughter's drive to resolve her problem..... she explained that as her body and spirit are growing a part of her still remains a little kid. She wants her to keep a notebook by her bed and to write and draw in it and then they will interpret it together. so this notebook will take the place of her crawling into bed with her sister. in a few months time we will begin the journey of getting her to sleep at her best friend's house. She also explained that most peoples fears come out at night sooo as you say in America "That s all folks" at least for now..........I will let you know how the notebook thing is working out.....
all the best from Italy
a
Jan 26, 2012
 11year old I have sleeping problems
by: Christian

Hi,i am 11yr old boy. my mum has shown me this website so that i dont think i am the only one in the world with this problem,It started when i was seven i just got out of the bath and went to watch tv and on tv was an add C.S.I i think that really scared me that add but im not so sure when i got to bed i wanted my mum or dad to sleep with me so she did but that went on for sevral nights,days,weeks,untill my dad said christian if you go to bed now il come go to bed with you, so i went to bed and fell asleep, when i woke up at around 4am my dad wasnt there i was panicking and i was terrified so i went to see my parents and i said dad i thought you were going to sleep with me and he said go back to bed i started to cry and cry but my dad and mum had had enough of it so they forced me to and i fell asleep.the next night they gave in and sleeped with me and a whole year went by with them sleeping with me. it was then i started to wonder what started this, it wasnt C.S.I, i wasnt scared that much of it anymore? i was sad to see my parents tired from me having this habbit but it went on for another year to 2009 and i had then gotten a little bit better i could sleep in my own room by myself but i had to have a nightlight and sleep spay and a noise relax machine which i still use now.in september 2009 we moved houses and i slept ok for a few months but one night my babysittter babysat me and my brother and on that night somthing strange happend i had fell asleep before the babysitter left and i woke up in the night crying and i ran to my parents and slept in their bed with them.At the start of 2010 i slept on a stretcher on the floor in my mum and dads room all the way through 2010 in 2011 i moved rooms into the office right next to my parents room but i had my nightlight spray and noise machine and worse i had mum sleep at the wrong side of the bed and look at me bacause my bed was pulled to the door! now you might start to think im a little bit crazy but im not i just had no idea what was happening it wasnt nightmares because i dont get much of them i dont no what it was.i did that half the year until my dad moved my bed so i wasnt next to the door i slept okay their knowing my parents were always going to bed at the same time as me.months after i had gotten a bit better i didnt worry as much because i had gotten older and now i have wanted my parents to stay up so i am not the only one awake in the house that is somthing that really scares me being the only one awake! now 2012 i have been a little better i wake up every night and havent slept all through the night since 2007 i still have spray but i have to take a pill, have a nightlight and my mum has to stay up until i go to sleep most nights.It hasent stopped i have done this for five whole years and i need a good nights sleep! i have been to thearapists pscolighists i have gotten sleeping crysatls to help me but none has worked. I would love some help.

now my mum will talk.
Jan 26, 2012
 Comment from Christians Mum
by:

First of all sorry for putting the comment up 3 times, its the first time I've been on a blog site. Christian wanted me to say some of my story. I think that he felt a bit better reading the other blogs and seeing that he isn't the only one going through this (stage). I say this is a stage because I really have hope that he will grow out of it, even though it has gone on for so long. and after reading a few of the stories on here it gives us even more hope.
It has been an emotional rollercoaster and I hope that we are at the last hurdle as we have been through so much. He said to me tonight that he wishes he was normal and didn't have this problem and that when he grows up he will walk the streets at night and be the only one awake. He says he wants to move to New York, why?(the city that never sleeps). Like alot of the other children on this blog he is a popular boy and does well at school, although in the last year I think it has effected his school work. He is very caring & senstative with a great deal of empathy and often says why do I feel sorry for too many people Mum? He simply can't switch off his brain at night and just worries that he won't sleep. We recently saught help with 'Cams' and he is now (reluctantly) been put on meds for anxiety at night but we will be taking him off them because they haven't made a difference other than make him emotional and suppress his appetite. In the mean time we just keep going, praising him when he has a good night and trying not to loose it when he has a bad night. next step we think we will try hypnotherapy, fingers crossed what have we got to loose.
Jan 27, 2012
 writing helps
by: annie from italy

well the writing seems to be helping.. if I hang out in her room a bit before she falls asleep she can now get through most nights. I was wondering about giving kids meds though. In Italy they don t medicate kids as easily as they do in the united states. for teens our osteopath/homeopath gave us magnesium which sort of relaxes the muscles. maybe you should check with your local health food store. well my daughter will write this weekend
all the best from italy
A
Jan 29, 2012
 13 too, and STILL CANNOT SLEEP!
by: Anonymous

I knwo exactly what your daughter is going through. I'm 13, and I cannot fall asleep by myself! I'm just too scared. Its weird, because I was able to sleep by myself before but now I can't. I have to take Benedryl every school night to be able to fall asleep! And sometimes the benedryl doesn't even work! My grandparents says its because of everything I have gone through, but honestly I'm not so sure. we have tried talking to doctors, but nothing works. I'm really confused!
Jan 30, 2012
 Hang in there!
by: Anonymous

To the 13yo above, hang in there. Believe me, I know to you it feels like it won't ever happen. But it will, you will eventually end up wanting to sleep by yourself and you will overcome the fear. Look at all these blogs and see if there is any advise that you havent tried yet. I would encourage you to keep trying. If you have been through a lot emotionally, try a journal. That is so helpful to just write your thoughts out and how you feel. Over time, you can read back and see how you did overcome certain fears and challenges. Try it. My daughter was on our floor last night sleeping, she is 14. She can sleep in her room now, it didnt start until she was about 13 and 1/2 years old, but she doesnt like it. She would still prefer to sleep on our floor. I let her every now and then but not consistently. You will get there, just know that it is much more common than you think. As you can see above.
Jan 30, 2012
 Divorced
by: Anonymous

Hi, this blog has helped me understand that we are not alone. My daughter is 7yo from divorced parents. My ex wife was married shortly after our diverce and my daughter has always slept alone in her mothers house. On the contrary I've always been very cautios in sharing my daughter experience with other artners until I felt some stability. During that time she slept in the same bed with me and shared very good moments and a strong bond. Last year I met a fantastic woman Whom I feel is the one. We have been living toghether for the past 5 months and have tried to persuade my daughter to sleep in her own bed liitle by little. We have good days and very bad days, with nothing in between. We've rearranged her room, new bed, new bedding, new paint. Have promised her a cat if she stays roughly 5 nights in bed, but with no luck. It is very fustruating. And although it is not dampering the relationship with my new fiance, I'm very concerned this will continue.
Jan 31, 2012
 To the blog above
by: Anonymous

It probably will continue. The reality whether you met this great woman or not, she would still be sleeping with you. Be careful because to her she is going to feel "replaced". I know its difficult but I think you have your hands full because its going to be a very sensitive area having a new lady in the house. They may have a great relationship but be careful about kicking her out of your room at this time. You may want to wait not even approach the issue for a little while then delve into the subject and have a plan. But give her time to adjust to the new situation. It will happen, but you will need to be extremely patient.
Feb 23, 2012
 i was the same
by: Anonymous

I understand you. I had the same problem as your daughter does. I was bright at school and life was normal. I had that problem since I can remember, I don't think I slept by my self as a baby, toddler, etc. I stopped sneaking into my mom's bed when she started snoring. Then I started sneaking into my sister's bed but she had no patience and pushed me right out. I convinced my self that sleeping in my bed was more confortable than sharing the bed with someone that snores. I was also afried of (unreal) things but was so afried of it I didn't even dare to say what I was afriad of. Whatching XFiles thinking it was real didn't help me much either.
Feb 24, 2012
 It's okay,
by: Anonymous

I am a 13 year old girl who just recently got over a sleep disorder the exact same as what your daughter is going through. I had this disorder since I was about 5. I couldn't sleep in my room by myself, I always slept with my mum and my dad slept in my room. For 8 years this was the routine. They were getting so worried that they were thinking of getting me checked out. When my parents tried to put me back in my room by myself I kicked and screamed and begged them to let me sleep with them. I started hyperventilating for the rest of the night, so for the sake of everyones rest, I was sleeping with my mum. I was okay sleeping on a mattress next to their bed but I still always tried to creep into theirs. I couldn't have sleepovers because I wouldn't stay in my own room and I was too embarrassed to tell any of my friends that I slept with my parents. I've only recently gotten over this and I feel so proud of myself. I didn't think I would ever see this day coming, but now it's here I feel great. She will opt out of this habit eventually. I hope my experience helped! :)
Feb 25, 2012
 to 13 year old who is ok now
by:

How did you get over this problem? Did you just decide everything was going to be ok one day? Was it a difficult transition? I would really like to know the details of how you got over this so I might be able to help my daughter get over this? She is 13 now and just as you described yourself. She is terrified she will be the last person asleep in the house.
Feb 26, 2012
 my son is almost 13 and has trouble getting to sleep by himself
by: Anonymous

My son has had this problem for a couple of years now. He has trouble with going to sleep on his own and most nights I stay with him until he is asleep and most nights he is fine until morning. He occasionally calls me in the middle of the night and sometimes can go back to sleep on his own. I am at a loss as to what to do. My husband hates that I lay down with him to help him get to sleep but if I don't he doesn't sleep well nor do I and so I do this to help us at least get some sleep especially on a school/work night. It could go on for hours if I didn't. I am reassured reading some of the posts to have hope that he will grow out of it. I know he hates it and can't explain to me what it is that bothers him. He is influenced by scary movie trailers and commercials. I think if I would have had another child he would have been okay just to have someone in the room with him. I am so afraid he won't be able to go off to college having this problem. He just likes to have someone with him.
Mar 01, 2012
 In reference to above
by: Anonymous

I cannot express enough to you, as much as it seems like this will never end, it will. Your son or daughter will figure it out. They will sleep in their own room. They will be able to go to college and be away in their own space. It will get better, my daughter is still doing well now after almost 1 year of sleeping on her own. I am the original blogger. So, there is hope and it will get better, just lots of patience and reassurance:)
Mar 10, 2012
 12 year old boy
by: Megan

My son is 12 years old and has had issues with sleep anxiety since he was 7. He used to sleep over at Grandparents and friends. When he was 7 I spent 10days in hospital and since then he has hadi issues with sleeping. He needs us to have the tv going and we have to promise we will stay awake till he falls asleep. In the past 6 months he has got worse where he calls out and is panicked. He doesnt ask to sleep with us and actually he finds it easier to fall asleep alone (as long as we are awake). But he does wake a few times a week and hops into our bed and falls back to sleep. He will not fall asleep if both parents are out and stays awake till our return. He does say he just needs to know we are ok. He goes to
School camps but I collect him late at night and return him first thing in the morning. I feel for him because he miisses out on the fun sleepovers with his friends.
I recently trialled a herbal sleep relaxent and he slept perfectly for ten nights but then he reverted back to the anxiety. He had hypnotherapy but that didn't seem to work.
He has no problem during the day being separated from us just when it's bedtime.
This affects all our lives and hope We can find some help for him.
Mar 10, 2012
 In reference to above
by: Anonymous

I think in regards to your son,I would try and identify with him- what it is that he think will happen if he doesnt fall asleep first. There must be some anxiety he is feeling. If he is afraid of losing his parent, he needs to identify that feeling and you can all work through it. It is a very valid fear. There are many books available to help you with that fear and working through it. I think once he works through the fear, he will probably be fine. Good Luck!
Mar 10, 2012
 Books.
by: Anonymous

I have asked a number of times what worries him when he is panicked and he usually says that something might happen to me. He is very attached to me but lately he is worries when his dad is not home at bedtime (that was never too much of a issue). He is any only child , very sensitive. He has just started high school and the only issue so far was the camp which was last week. The school had assured me that he wasn't the only one not sleeping there. Unfortunately a teacher told him to toughen up and not be so selfish. This upset and he now feels guilty. I assured him that he wasnt selfish and he would get through this.
Can anyone suggest books.? Thanks
Mar 19, 2012
 Hi
by: Ethan

Hi I'm 13 I had that problem and well I found out boy scouts helpt me or if it's a girl venture scouts which is like boy scouts but with boys and girls . You go camping evory month . Girls with girls boys with boys. Or join a sport
Mar 20, 2012
 tantrum NEW
by: Anonymous

I am 10 and still afraid to sleep by myself one day my brothers freind was staying the night and my baby brother usally sleeps with me but he slep in my parents room cause the boys had to use his bed to sleep on cause they needed three beds and when i heard i freacked out and my parents were trying to tuck me in but i kept on crying it was so bad my brothers thretin to come in there and smack me and afer ihad my big tantrum my dad set me down and started talking to me and asked why i did that and i had no answer then i had to go to bed and i didnt sleep in my room i slep in my dads bedrrom floor and then the next week at counseling they asked me the same question why did u have tantrum like what were u thinking about first i said nothing then she put it in a easer way and i said i wasnt thiking about anything at all when i found this website now i know i am not the only one that doese this my dad thought i was crazy
Mar 20, 2012
 tantrum NEW
by: Anonymous

I am 10 and still am afraid to sleep alone like a week ago my brothers freind stayed the night and they had to use my other brothers bed to sleep on and my brother had to sleep in my parents room and when i heard i freaked out and then my parents sent me to my room and tucked me in and when they left i started crying it was so bad my brothers thretin to come in there and smack me then my dad set me down and talked to me and asked me why did i do that i had no answer then i had to go to bed and i didnt sleep in my room i slep in there room in the floor and then a week later my counsler asked me the same question why did u have a tantrum like what were u thinking about when u did this i said nothing then she said it in a easer way and i said i dont know and when i found this website i know im not the only one maybe i will get some ideas that will help me off this website!!!!!!!!
Mar 20, 2012
 Hey NEW
by: Anonymous

Hey Im 11 and i used too be almost exactley like U! i did i for 3 yrs but i have gotten WAY better! i think its because u grow up! i sleeped wif mi mum and dad for like couple months then i went too mi own bed and sometimes they slept wif me.now i have gotten better but i have a nightlight and a noise machine.(makes rain sonuds.)it mite help u relax and calm down!
Mar 20, 2012
 ^^^^^^To the above comments^^^^^ NEW
by: Anonymous

You are absolutely not crazy because you are afraid to sleep alone. Look at how many people struggle with this very same issue. I can absolutely guarantee you, that eventually you will be able to overcome this is issue. Hang in there, keep trying is key- keep trying different methods that make you feel safe and calm. Good Luck!
Apr 03, 2012
 Im 13 and i cant NEW
by: Anonymous

Im 13 and i still can not sleep alone in my own bedroom! I dont know whats wrong with me! I looked it up on the internet and the phobea of sleeping alone is called monophobea,please help somone..:'(
Apr 03, 2012
 Im 13 and i cant NEW
by: Anonymous

Im 13 and i still can not sleep alone in my own bedroom! I dont know whats wrong with me! I looked it up on the internet and the phobea of sleeping alone is called monophobea,please help somone..:'(
Apr 03, 2012
 to above comment NEW
by: Anonymous

First, there is nothing wrong with you. As you see from this blog, many kids of all ages deal with this issue.
I would first try and identify what it is that gives you anxiety about sleeping alone. Is it noises, is it darkness? whatever you identify, try and embrace it, say to yourself: I will check the closets, under the bed, any noise I am not familiar with, I will find out what it is, so that when you hear it again,you can identify what it is. If it is darkness, use a nightlight. Try and have calming music on if you can, water trickling/ wind blowing something relaxing. Try not to think of a million different scary thoughts, rather focus on one thing- repeating a positive verse in a song or bible verse or something that will allow you to relax your mind. You can do this, and you will- many many kids have this "issue", not "problem". It will improve and you will sleep alone, I promise!
Apr 03, 2012
 to above comment NEW
by: Anonymous

First, there is nothing wrong with you. As you see from this blog, many kids of all ages deal with this issue.
I would first try and identify what it is that gives you anxiety about sleeping alone. Is it noises, is it darkness? whatever you identify, try and embrace it, say to yourself: I will check the closets, under the bed, any noise I am not familiar with, I will find out what it is, so that when you hear it again,you can identify what it is. If it is darkness, use a nightlight. Try and have calming music on if you can, water trickling/ wind blowing something relaxing. Try not to think of a million different scary thoughts, rather focus on one thing- repeating a positive verse in a song or bible verse or something that will allow you to relax your mind. You can do this, and you will- many many kids have this "issue", not "problem". It will improve and you will sleep alone, I promise!
Apr 09, 2012
 im almost 12 and i cant stay over at a friends or sleep alone what is my problem NEW
by: Anonymous

i dont know but i just cant sleep alone when im going to bed on my on i just think scary things and i frick out i dont know what to do.Ive done it before sometimes but my house too is very big and my parents bedroom is far away and if i scriam they wont here .when i stay over my tommi gets realy sore then i barf its very imbarising having this problem.pleas help what shuold i do¡¡¡¡
Apr 09, 2012
 im almost 12 and i cant stay over at a friends or sleep alone what is my problem NEW
by: Anonymous

i dont know but i just cant sleep alone when im going to bed on my on i just think scary things and i frick out i dont know what to do.Ive done it before sometimes but my house too is very big and my parents bedroom is far away and if i scriam they wont here .when i stay over my tommi gets realy sore then i barf its very imbarising having this problem.pleas help what shuold i do¡¡¡¡
Apr 09, 2012
 im almost 12 and i cant stay over at a friends or sleep alone what is my problem NEW
by: Anonymous

i dont know but i just cant sleep alone when im going to bed on my on i just think scary things and i frick out i dont know what to do.Ive done it before sometimes but my house too is very big and my parents bedroom is far away and if i scriam they wont here .when i stay over my tommi gets realy sore then i barf its very imbarising having this problem.pleas help what shuold i do¡¡¡¡
Apr 10, 2012
 13 and i cant go to sleep help please? NEW
by: a child.

I know, this might sound like the other comments above.. but oh well.
I'm 13 years old.. and I can't sleep by myself!
It sucks, of course.. I used to play really creepy games.. and look at real creepy videos when I was a wee bit younger (like probably 11.. or 12..), which I really shouldn't have done because now I can't go to sleep until 2 or 3 am, then I wake up after an hour.. then get extreamly scared and go into my parents room..I try sleeping with a nightlight ( yes very emberassing....) and that's not working so much.. when I close my eyes I see really creepy things.. I keep telling myself its fake.. cause that's all it really is but I'm still scared!! Please someone help? Please!!! :"(
Apr 11, 2012
 Hang in There!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

In regard to the "creepy visions", you should facing that fear, and what I mean is- first, keep telling yourself,"it is not real", "this will not happen", have a plan in place. Every night before bed, go through your spaces, do a check list and check everything that may give you the impression that you are not safe. Once you complete it, starting with relaxation- yeah it sounds goofy but it works. If you have soothing music, put it on. Get comfortable in your bed, close your eyes and start picturing a waterfall, or maybe a favorite place that you have seen or visited. Cute cuddly animals, envision yourself petting the baby animals. Get your positive image in your mind, then start taking nice slow deep breaths. Counting slowly on your exhale, 10-9-8-....... and then repeat. If that isnt effective, try repeating a positive verse from a song or the bible, something positive, over and over in your head. You will do this, you really will, you just have to keep trying!! Good Luck.
Apr 12, 2012
 Mum of 13 year old boy.... NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi I have posted on this site twice some weeks ago, i was saying then about my concern that my son has had this fear for about 6 years, has a bed in our room, does not go on sleepovers , we also have issues when we go away ...can he still sleep with us,,,is there a tv in the room...this comforts him, well i wanted to share wiyh you that 2 weeks ago he asked to sleep at his friends house, i had a txt from him about 1am to say his tummy felt strange and he was scared as everyone was asleep but i reassured him and much to my delight he stayed all night. The last week we went to stay with friends on easter break and i was dreading him wanting to sleep with us, but he slept alone...with the tv on all night....but he did it. He is so chuffed and so are we to at last see some improvement. We are home now and he still wanys to stay in his bed in our room but said he will go in his own room when its school holiday!! I feel at last he will not be there forever, as other comments have said on this site "they will grow out of it" lets hope my son continues to improve, hes a lot less anxious about bed time in the laast few months.
Apr 12, 2012
 Mum of 13 year old boy.... NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi I have posted on this site twice some weeks ago, i was saying then about my concern that my son has had this fear for about 6 years, has a bed in our room, does not go on sleepovers , we also have issues when we go away ...can he still sleep with us,,,is there a tv in the room...this comforts him, well i wanted to share wiyh you that 2 weeks ago he asked to sleep at his friends house, i had a txt from him about 1am to say his tummy felt strange and he was scared as everyone was asleep but i reassured him and much to my delight he stayed all night. The last week we went to stay with friends on easter break and i was dreading him wanting to sleep with us, but he slept alone...with the tv on all night....but he did it. He is so chuffed and so are we to at last see some improvement. We are home now and he still wanys to stay in his bed in our room but said he will go in his own room when its school holiday!! I feel at last he will not be there forever, as other comments have said on this site "they will grow out of it" lets hope my son continues to improve, hes a lot less anxious about bed time in the laast few months.
Apr 12, 2012
 To the Mum above NEW
by: Anonymous

I am so happy to hear that about your son. It is so amazing how things can change in a day or two. I will tell you, my daughter still will come in my room, and beg to sleep on the floor but she is able to sleep in her own room, I make her because I don't want to lose what we gained.
Apr 12, 2012
 Mother of 13 year old boy who cannot sleep alone NEW
by:

Thankyou...yes you are right , the thing now is to try and not go backwards keep improveing on what he has achived.This site has been a great help to me over the past year, just reading peoples posts when you are at your wits end. gives great hope. thankyou.
Apr 12, 2012
 Mother of 13 year old boy who cannot sleep alone NEW
by:

Thankyou...yes you are right , the thing now is to try and not go backwards keep improveing on what he has achived.This site has been a great help to me over the past year, just reading peoples posts when you are at your wits end. gives great hope. thankyou.
Apr 14, 2012
 Sleeping alone NEW
by: Anonymous

I used to have that when I was little and my mum would have to air in my room and when she got up to leave I would be awake in a flash. The way I grew out of it was I really wanted to go on a residential school trip and one night I said to myself 'Right, you want to go on this trip so you've got to be able to sleep alone' and I found out I went to sleep fine! Also if you get her relaxed before she goes to bed, maybe a bath and hot chocolate and I found what helped me was having and extra matress and closing my door a little. It also helps to find out why she doesn't like sleeping alone and talking about it. Hope this helped!! :)
Apr 15, 2012
 I dont know what to do NEW
by: Anonymous

HI i am 13 almost 14 have the same problem this has been happening since i was about 8 what do i do???? I have tried the TV reading books everything!!! but i just sleep on my parents floor!!I am glad I am not alone it makes me feel a lot better that their are more people with this anxiety issue then just me
Apr 15, 2012
 To the above comment NEW
by: Anonymous

I really think the key is to keep trying, you are going to have to make an effort to chose to sleep in your own bed and at least try. Sometimes, its easier to sleep in your parents room on the floor, you feel safe and no worries. However, you are still safe in your room, you just don't realize it yet. You have to keep trying, try to make yourself feel comfortable, safe and you will overcome it. You really will, but it does take an effort on your part. It doesnt just happen. Even after you do conquer this fear and sleep all night in your room, its not easy. You have to just keep doing it, it will get easier. Don't give in to the fear, you can do this, really. Keep trying... You will do this, I promise!
Apr 16, 2012
 17 and still cant sleep?! NEW
by: Anonymous

hello i was wondering if anyone could help me , im seventeen years old and i still cant sleep no matter what i do if my mother or step dad are asleep before me my brain convinces me that someones in my home and then if im in the dark i keep pictureing someone poping there head round the door but then i get up and no ones there.
but then its a different story when my parents are awake i fall asleep straight away?.
ive just been reading all the previous comments and ive already been through the 'i want to be popular' stage and no change.
i dont really know how to use thia website so if anyone could help me please email me.
nadinerich@live.co.uk
Apr 17, 2012
 12-13 NEW
by: K

Now I don't feel as bad I'm 12 and half of the time I sleep fine in my bed but sometimes. I lie. There for hours trying to fall aslwelbutfkr some reason I can't no matter what. I dos be up. Half the nigh. Or I have to going my mom's room and sleep there just saying my parents are divorce. If tht matters at all
Apr 19, 2012
 it's not as easy as you think. NEW
by: Anonymous

hi, I'm a thirteen year old girl, and yes, I still can't sleep without my parents nearby. I can't go to sleepovers and I don't feel 'normal'. Any suggestions?x
Apr 24, 2012
 It's not as easy as you think NEW
by: Anonymous

To the girl who posted above, I know it isn't easy. My 13 year old is going through the same thing. Here are some of the suggestions we have found or tried: keeping a flashlight near and maybe a book, keeping her iPod by so she could listen to music if she wakes up, some people have talked about getting a noise machine that makes sounds of water or other soft sounds, keeping lights on in the house, some relaxation time without tv before bed or meditation, writing out your fears and really thinking about whether they are likely to occur, a warm drink of milk before bed. Another idea is visualization, when I was young I used to think of my bed as a safe island. Once I was in it with the covers up, it was all safe. Or think about putting your worries in a box under your pillow. Or think about a scary dream you have and give it a surprise more happy ending. Good luck, and know you are definitely not alone, there are lots of kids and parents working through this and it will get better.
May 03, 2012
 My issue NEW
by: Jessica

Im almost sixteen, my birthday is in July and I have an 18 year old brother. I have the same problem as the original 13 year old. Only problem is, Sleeping with my parents or in my parents room, having an animal sleep with me, or the tv on doesn't help at all. I can only sleep if my brother is in the same room as me. This has been going on since I was 6. I want to know why I can only sleep if my brother is in the room with me.. Someone please help :/
May 10, 2012
 17 and cant sleep alone NEW
by: Anonymous

I dont know but it started in 7th grade. And i used to stay awake all night and became realy depressed because of the lack of sleep and every since then i am scared that if i dont sleep then i will go back to that feeling of being depressed and being scared of night. Currently I sleep on the floor of my parents bed room but they are getting tired of it. I am so scared to sleep in my own room at night. i get such anxiety just thinking about it. I always stay up and think of how everyone else is asleep but I am still awake. Whats weird is that I can fall asleep without any problem in my parents room but just the thought of sleeping in my own room scares me. They gave me an ultimatum today and said that I have to sleep in my room today. I am just so scared of doing that. I dont want to go back to the feeling of depression that I had in 7th grade. I have read all of the remedies that everyone has listed above such as having a pet sleeping with you or haveing the tv on. But i dont have a pet or a tv in my room. I cant stop crying. Please someone help me!
May 10, 2012
 To the 17 yr old and all the other scared kids NEW
by: Anonymous

I have a 13 year old daughter who has the same problem as everyone else here. After searching on the web, I discovered a program based on cognitive behavioural therapy that I thought may help her. I bought it online and she has been listening to this and it is helping her. She has now moved from sleeping within arms reach of me to sleeping in the corridor where she can see me if she gets scared. she falls asleep in her own bed if we are awake when she goes to bed. The next step is to sleep on the couch around the corner but still close to our room if she gets scared. Step by step I believe she will get there. The catch with this program is that you have to want to get better, and you have to work at that and take it step by step. The child has to want to do it. I think the program is fantastic, because it is a self help program. I believe it is worth the money. This anxiety disorder problem is in your mind and the program helps deal with anxiety of all kinds and helps you to think differently and train these thoughts out of your mind. It is exactly what a psychologist would do with you but for little expense. It is called "Turnaround" http://www.myanxiouschild.com/ There is a lot of information on the website for you to decide if you want to try it. It is not a mickey mouse program and was shipped promptly. Hope this may help a few of you out there.
May 13, 2012
 Same track but almost off NEW
by: Anonymous

My 8 year old sister is afraid of sleeping alone! She makes up a lie that she's afraid of the dark! My 5 year old brother is not! Although we're getting over it happy to say! Just buy them a nightlight and a teddy bear or something! The teddy bear will hopefully make them feel like someone is with them and the nightlight will keep them from being scared of the dark! If they still want you then wait till there sleeping then replace your self with a pillow or teddy bear or something. Get out of the bed then walk to your room and lock the door behind you so she can't bug you. She will probably just go back to bed.
May 13, 2012
 Same track but almost off NEW
by: Anonymous

My 8 year old sister is afraid of sleeping alone! She makes up a lie that she's afraid of the dark! My 5 year old brother is not! Although we're getting over it happy to say! Just buy them a nightlight and a teddy bear or something! The teddy bear will hopefully make them feel like someone is with them and the nightlight will keep them from being scared of the dark! If they still want you then wait till there sleeping then replace your self with a pillow or teddy bear or something. Get out of the bed then walk to your room and lock the door behind you so she can't bug you. She will probably just go back to bed.
May 13, 2012
 Comfort NEW
by: Anonymous

I am getting alot of comfort from reading that my son isn't on his own with his sleeping issues. I am not of the opinion that you should lock your door and hopefully they will go back to sleep. Tough love isn't the answer as it will only add another anxiety to the poor child. Encouragement and working through the issues and alot of patience seems to be the answer.
May 13, 2012
 Agree with the above NEW
by: Anonymous

Absolutely I agree with the above comment, if the child is so anxious that they cannot sleep in their own bed they surely don't need the fear that they cannot access their parent because the door is locked! This will definitely increase the childs anxiety. I wish it was as easy as giving the child a teddy bear and for those that this technique works, thats great. But the fear goes much deeper for some children. It does take a lot of patience. The reality, the child will not be sleeping with you or in your room forever.

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