My First Disturbing Experience of Paralysis
Feb 19th 2011
After being kept awake all night due to my little brother's 3 friends, and I mean ALL NIGHT. From 11 when my head hit the pillow I was waken up every hour on the hour to the loud and obnoxious sounds off prepubescent 11 year olds. It was about 5 am when I finally had given up on sleep entirely, I completely abandoned the idea of trying to fall asleep since I could feel the vibrations of them running and being rowdy in general. They had absolutely zero disregard for the other 6 people who were trying to sleep but what can you say to 4 11 year olds that wouldn't get them to do the exact opposite of your request.
Anyways after a persistent headache for the latter part of the day while running on maybe 1-2 hours sleep I finally was able to take a nap at around 5ish when I woke up at around 7:30. Anyways at about 9 pm I tried to just force myself to sleep, but was bothered by something very peculiar. My feet were too WARM. Now I've had many many times when my feet were extremely too COLD to even attempt sleeping in which I had to dig out a pair of wool socks. Never had I had the sensation my feet were too warm, but not only that, every few seconds I can feel a pulsating in between my big toe and well my second big toe ( don't know if the names of the 3 fingers between thumb and pinky apply to toes ). Even as I type this at 3:46 am I can still feel it. However when I left my toe out (no socks) where it would normally feel frostbitten it eventually cooled down and stopped pulsating so long as I was occupied and my mind elsewhere.
Anyways as I fell asleep at around 2:20ish after a quick prayer I immediately must've fell into REM sleep. The lack of good REM sleep the night set me up for the trip of a lifetime. Now, I've had some interesting dreams in my day, a few lucid ones that I immediately wrote down upon waking because they were so amazing and vivid. Some of the scenes of these dreams are floating in my head right now, and nothing comes close to the straight up fear and panic that I felt in this 45-80 minutes of intense dreaming. Now the underlying theme to the immense amount of dreams I had in this short period of time was that I was always feeling drunk, but not in the good happy go lucky telling anyone Ive ever talked to before that I love them kind of way. I'm talking about the complete and utter destruction of the liver kind of drunk where you can't walk, can't see, can't talk (coherently), and can't seem to find your damn phone. I don't know what I could describe it else as besides being REALLY drunk, because no other experience has come even close to the amount of nauseous feeling I had. I couldn't see clearly at all everything was a haze and I could barely walk or talk at all.
Now, the thing that really disturbed me about this was the serious amount of false awakenings I had. I really have no clue but I'm gonna ballpark it around 6 being generous. Now I couldn't tell you the order in which things happened I only have scenes left in my memory of things I had seen. I remember looking at this pill bottle I had or rather the box the pill bottle would come in (think zicam or something of the sort). Now I immediately attributed the "drunk" feeling to having taken too many of these pills when I don't remember taking one at all. I tried getting up out of bed, could barely see anything or move efficiently when I wake up back in my bed. Now this chain of events happened several times at least 3 times where I would feel so "f*cked up" ,for lack of a better term, that I couldn't believe what I had taken to get to this state of mind and body. And every time I would wake right back up in bed to do it all over again, until now and this is where things get a little distorted. I have distinct memories of playing Dota feeling relatively fine and thinking I should probably just go to bed so I would attempt to quit, unsuccessfully might I add, for the first few times. I head to bed to fall asleep to wake up again feeling motion sick again.
Now I remember Mick and delilah being in the living room and me trying to call out to them that I do not feel okay and that I'm not okay. Anyways after stumbling about the hallway they disappear and I wake up yet again except this time the cats woke me up which was extremely normal for them. Now they've got pissing me off while trying to sleep down to an exact science. They wait until I'm laying down in bed and the minute my head
touches the pillow I hear that oh so familiar scratching at the window. After letting out a big sigh I would precede to let them in, yoyo would dart inside super quickly thanks for that yoyo while I would literally have to coax tango inside by getting my slippers and walking slowly up to him or else he would just run away and giving him a kick in the butt to get him moving. He almost NEVER just walks inside but he never fails to scratch at my window ever so slightly to get my attention. Then when I open the door he just looks at me with a look of "now what do you want?". I'm unappreciative for that tango very much so.
Now please disregard those former few sentences as that actually happens EVERY night and wasn't apart of this wickedly scary dream, this however is. I wake up to them sleeping on my bed yoyo is on top of my head grooming my hair the way my old cat journey used to before he ran away =[. I attempt to get out of bed and its completely dark but I manage to make out the silhouettes of 3 cats which is very discomforting. I turn on the light and they vanished I go to feed them like I always do despite the fact that they are remingten and mavericks cats, I've opened almost every door for them and fed them almost every time with very few exceptions going to delilah and my mom. So I shake around their bowl looking for them and I wake up again in bed. Now keep in mind every time I wake up in bed I feel as if I'm awake and what had just happened was a nightmare, so I got the package deal of 6 nightmares for the price of one!
Lucky me, anyways this time I wake up I stumble into the living room where the tv is on and my dad is preparing a bed on the floor next to a mattress I guess I was going to sleep on. He steals my blanket and I get up angrily to get it back and he says some inaudible things I cant remember and opens the curtains to a blast of sunshine, I look at the clock and its only 4 am (i had soooooo many clues that if I thought about I would know that this couldn't be real and I could've turned it into a lucid dream but I just ignored them ).
Anyways now I remember some talk of bed bugs as well that may be unimportant but I'll mention it nonetheless. It was a conversation between 3 people except I don't think I was one of them but rather watching the conversation, nothing specifically I can remember. Anyways now this time I wake up AND I CANT MOVE. Still keep in mind that every dream and every false awakening felt soooo real that I completely forgot about all the previous false awakenings besides the only one immediately preceding it. So I'm stuck in bed and this one felt soooooo unbelievably real I actually think I mightve been awake for those few seconds. I literally can't move at all completely paralyzed I can only move my eyes and I cant open my mouth to scream either. I just laid there helplessly for a good 15-25 seconds until I barely muster enough energy to move my hand to search for my phone which I use one finger to try to unlock using my code. And to no avail it does not work every time and I'm in panic mode until I finally ACTUALLY WAKE UP.
I take a huge gasp move every possible limb or appendage that can be moved on the human body, count all my fingers look away and make sure I still have 5 fingers and not 6 or 4 or 8 or whatever. Take a huge sigh of relief try to locate my glasses and my phone yet again and realize I WAS ONLY ASLEEP FOR 1 HOUR. I jammed pack a weeks worth of dreams into one solid hour of REM sleep that was both disturbing and enlightening in a way but most of all terrifying. Now here I am typing out this entire experience which has since taken about 40 minutes since I've woken up for good this time. Now to be honest I'm a little afraid to go back to sleep it is now 4:23 and I don't feel tired per se but I know that one hour of terrifying sleep will not make up for the 16 or so hours that I need to catch up on. I am extremely reluctant though to turn off that light and try to sleep again but here goes nothing. Maybe ill play a show in the background that might wake me up if I leave it loud enough assuming something goes wrong again. Anyways I have a complete and utter disregard for grammar and proper punctuation much to the same extent those little boys had.
Anyways I wrote this on 1 hour of sleep at 4 am now good day sirs and madams.