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My Husband Says Very Hurtful Things In His Sleep

by Deborah
(Hesperia, California - USA)

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. About 3 years ago he began talking in his sleep. He is diabetic and suffer's with sleep apnea as well as he gets up 1-3 time's a night to eat.


His sleep talking isn't a problem, rather the perverse things that he says. He started by saying "I LOVE YOU". At first I would reply "I LOVE YOU TOO". But it soon became apparent that he wasn't talking to me, he would wake up and be mad at me for waking him up. He continued saying it over and over.

Within a few days or a week tops, he added to his vocabulary. He was "Talking Dirty" as if he was having sex with another woman. He would graphically refer to providing oral sex, example: " I WANT TO E**
YOUR P", or say "I WANT TO F YOU". All of which angered me to say the least.

He continued this dialect every day/night (any time he fell asleep) for 3 years. I am not a Dr. or Psychologist, but I am a Registered Nurse. Therefore, I've taken 3 Psychology classes along with Biology, Microbiology, Physiology, Human Anatomy, and Sociology. So I have some knowledge of the human mind and body. I believe that the possibility of one person repeating the identical conversation every time they "Fall Asleep" is infamous. My conclusion is that he was fully aware of his actions, but it became a daily argument because he was adamant that: #1: He was asleep. #2: He would deny that he was talking. #3: If he was talking, he has no control over what he say's while asleep. And #4:(my personal favorite), "I would NEVER INTENTIONALLY DO or SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HURT YOU".

We are currently separated, have been for 2 1/2 month's. Just for the sake of marriage being a covenant, what is your view regarding the above stated situation and the probability of this type of nightly reoccurrence? Sincerely, RN now living at my parent's.

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