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My Nights Are A Living Hell

by Dutchman

First i want to say sorry for my english. I am from the Netherlands. I am 27 years old and i have RBD for several years now. The most terrible things happen at night and the next day i don't now anything about it. I get very aggressive at night and i always turn my aggression towards my wife. I call her names and i hit her with my fists in her face and all over her body. The worst that happened is that i raped my own wife and that i threatened to kill her if she would resist. My wife is petrified of me and so am i. Sometimes i am afraid to go to bed. My biggest wish is of course that i will not have this disorder. But another big wish is that i would have a child of my own but i am so afraid that i have chosen not to have a baby. I don`t think that my wife and i are gonna make it. Because life is so hard when you have to deal with this disorder.

Comments for My Nights Are A Living Hell

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Jun 08, 2011
Protect Your Wife and Seek Help

You must seek treatment from a doctor and until you are sure it is effective, I urge you and your wife to sleep in separate rooms and ideally for her to lock you in at night.

Maybe you read about the man who murdered his wife in his sleep? They were both aware of his sleep disorder and normally slept in different rooms and she would lock his door. But they were on holiday and he dreamt she was being attacked and thought he was intervening - but really he was strangling her. Google "Brian Thomas husband" and you will find several articles about his tragic story.

If you have violently raped your wife in your sleep, you are not responsible. But now you know what your sleeping self is capable of, you must not ignore it. You must now take responsibility against future acts of sleep-violence.

You and your wife are both suffering. This is likely to have put a severe strain on your relationship. I strongly suggest that you seek counselling so that you can work through the emotional damage.

Sep 23, 2011
by: Anonymous

i suggest that u both stay separately until u r fully recovered from this disorder, im sure u worry about most is the safety of ur wife, so first get treatment, make ur condition stable and then get together.

Oct 18, 2011
Are you serious??!!!
by: Anonymous

GET OUT OF YOUR WIFE'S BEDROOM but first put a lock on her door. Then, get help.

Good grief, man, what are you thinking? YOUR nights are a living hell? What about hers? If you act sensibly you might have a chance with your wife. If you continue to try to sleep with her (she must be petrified of you to allow it) you have NO chance and will continue to do her real harm.

Thanks for posting. I wish you all the best in finding a solution to your problem.

Oct 26, 2011
sheri from rbd my story
by: Sheri

Hi there! I have RBD and wrote my story here titled RBD my story.

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone in suffering through this. I've yet to hear an update from you and would like to know if you've gone on any medication for the RBD and how you've been doing in general. Better, worse?

If you are keeping up to date on the comments here I think some of us would like to know that you're ok! I know RBD can be terrifying to deal with and the aftermath of an episode especially if it's directed towards a spouse can be quite traumatic to deal with but it can be brought under control.

If you still have not sought treatment I really must urge you to do so before you end up killing your wife. You may scoff at what I just said but RBD is that dangerous. There is a reason why my doctor told my husband to keep all guns and knives out of the bed room because if I were to enact a dream I could shoot or stab my husband not knowing it was him I was hurting.

This is very serious. I hope you did get treatment and if so I'd like to know how you have been doing. Hope you've been well and this isn't just for the poster here this is also for everyone else that suffers from RBD.

So far this website is the only one that I've met other sufferers on. We need to start a website just for RBD sufferes an online support group would be fantastic to have. There is one for every disease known under man except for this.

:) hope to hear from some of you.


Dec 28, 2011
i understand NEW
by: Anonymous

i have REM and beat up my husband in my sleep but he'd rather risk the night than sleep away from me.We have been married 9 years and have 3 children.It took him e few years to undersfand what was happenung but most of the time he knows the signs and just goes out in the lounge on the couch.

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