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Sexsomniac Awareness

by Sexsomniac

Sexsomnia aka Sleep Sex is a parasomnia (sleep disorder) which causes the sufferer to engage in sexual acts while sleeping with no memory of the event.

Unfortunately, in truth, no cure exists for Sexsomnia. I have found, through exhaustive research and practice, that there are ways to address our condition and greatly minimize the risk of a potential episode. Please visit Sexsomniacs Journey at to be welcomed into a community of understanding and compassion.

This is a very serious condition, although rare, it has dire consequences for those truly afflicted with sexsomnia. I am reaching out to all Sexsomniacs, those who love us, and the curious to visit and join to increase Sexsomnia Awareness and to support each other.

I recently launched a site, Sexsomniacs Journey, to increase awareness of this sleep disorder and to provide a safe and understanding environment for Sexsomniacs, those who love us, and the curious minded to convene and discuss all matters pertaining to Sexsomnia.

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Feb 15, 2018
This is ruining my marriage NEW
by: Anonymous

Over 3 years ago I had to abruptly quit a job (I was interrogated by a cop and my boss's boss because a coworker of mine wrongfully accused me of threatening to kill my boss) and move across the country with my wife. The plan was to drive until we got tired and then find a hotel wherever we were at the time. Unfortunately, the countries biggest rodeo was in town that night with kid rock playing so for 400 miles EVERY hotel was sold out. The hotels even called around to try and find us a place but we were SOL. My wife and I decided to just load up on energy drinks and keep going so we did. That was the biggest mistake of my life. We found a place the next morning in Nebraska at around noon and convinced them to check us in early. We immediately went to sleep. The next thing I know, I was looking down at my wife's crying face and I was on top of her. I'm much bigger than her so I moved off of her and asked what happened. She stated that I forced my penis in her mouth- early on in our marriage, she told me she would never give me oral and we used to fight about it because I thought she was selfish for having me give it to her when she was not be willing to give it to me, even occasionally. So with our history, she doesn't believe that I was really asleep. I have no memory of the incident but according to her, I admitted that I did it on purpose because I said "I thought you'd like it if I just tried it" (this is not something that makes logical sense to me and I would never say that consciously). Also, she says that my eyes were wide open as if I were awake. When I finally woke up, she told me what I had done and I freaked out because I was scared, angry at myself, and sad for her all at once-- it was confusing and scary. I guess my reaction scared her so she just told me that she believed me about being asleep and we left it at that. What I didn't know was how violent it was and how traumatizing it had been for her. I was under the impression that it was more uncomfortable than anything else and I imagined a quick in and out (I didn't have an orgasm to my knowlege) but apparently she almost lost consciousness from asphyxiation. That part I learned about recently because she started telling all her family members and mine, beginning with my own mom, the details of the incident. Apparently, she tried to bury it but feels that she must "speak out" against what I did. To her, I raped her on purpose and she thinks that sexsomnia (which I only recently discovered through online research) is just a "convenient excuse" that I'm trying to "justify" my actions and turn myself into a victim as well. This all just hurts me to no end. I love her deeply but now she doesn't trust me at all. I have considered suicide and unfortunately know how a gun barrel tastes because I am constantly on the verge of squeezing the trigger and ending this pain.

Aug 24, 2016
Life ruined. NEW
by: Anonymous

I have recently been made very aware of this condition by my partner, and I didn't understand or believe it was happening.
She swears black and blue it happens, and it scares me because I have recently been charged with sexual assault while staying at a friends place.
I have no memory of this, but I did sleep next to her.
It worries me that it's possible, but what scares me more is that I cannot remember.
I didn't realise this was a disorder until I read about it on google... I feel ashamed about it.... And I wish there was a cure.

Mar 07, 2016
Help! NEW
by: Anonymous

I am 30 years old and just started this as far as u know a couple months ago. I've been under alot of emotional stress my husband passed away 8 months ago. My current boyfriend told me about my night time behavior and I thought he was crazy. We were constantly arguing about it. My eyes are open I th all to him and he even said I have gotten out of bed turned on porn and grabbed a vibrator. I've never been comfortable masturbate ng but now apparently I do it every night and I try to hide it. If he's not in the room and starts coming in he said I can hear him and I stop. This is ruining our relationship and I'm not sure what to do. He now thinks anytime I'm in a different room that I'm doing it. Although we are very sexualy open with each other I'm still not comfortable doing it while awake if he's not in the room. Will this go away? Please help!

Oct 26, 2015
living with sexsomnia NEW
by: Brandon Grogan

im 27 years old and have been living with the parasomnia since I was a teenager. Prior as a child I had night terrors, and I still grind my teeth at night. I was first told about my disorder by me first girlfriend at the age of 18. Sex was very regular for us, therefore we both just laughed about it. I met my wife in college when I was 19, and told her that there was a possibility that I might touch her in the middle of the night and made sure she knew before sharing a bed with me. Being that we were both very sexually active she didn't mind and I almost always wake up somewhere in the middle of it. we now have 2 children and after a brief discussion our door stays locked at night. They know they are never allowed to sleep in our room. One of us always hears knocking. I'm lucky to have an amazing wife who understands my condition and isn't disturbed by it. We have adjusted our lives to deal with this condition in every way possible now that we have children.

May 29, 2015
finding a solution
by: Anonymous

I'm 24 years old and have had many episodes in the last 6 years, it happens as often as one a week. I wake up during episodes and feel disgusting. I am not a highly sexual person generally, and even though my girlfriends (respective by time frame) don't mind that it happens, I do. if it's not conscious sex it's not okay with me no matter how willing my girlfriend is. I've experimented many different nightly routines, I would be consistent for 2 weeks each different way and there's just no definite way to stop for me personally. I tried no nightly release, nightly release, lazy days, working out, random excitements and activities days, days of being morbid. nothing changes my sleep patterns. I wish there was something to help.

Mar 25, 2015
Best course of protection
by: Anonymous

I suffer from this affliction. Well, I guess I don't really suffer too much, I have been lucky enough to find someone understanding of my dilemma. Other than the occasional incident, I have found that the easiest course of dealing with it is to engage in sexual release prior to sleeping. This is a touch embarrassing but it really does mostly work. It is the only long term treatment I have found useful. I worry sometimes because episodes can be gentle but sometimes they are anything but. I have been awakened mid act before and it is so incredibly disorienting that the feeling of pleasure that is echoed from the sleep is immediately replaced by feelings of shame and guilt. Luckily, as I said, I have an incredibly understanding partner who has learned to more or less embrace it. It has made the occasional experience far less shameful feeling. It used to be an almost nightly occurrence but with the "release" regiment it is maybe a couple times a year. I have never spoken of this to anyone other than my partner before. I hope this helps at least a little.

Oct 28, 2014
sufferer seeking help
by: steven

I am currently trying to seek help with this issue with little luck. I am married and my wife will tell me of situations that happen during the night that frankly embarrass me and make me very unconfortable. This has only happened since I've been married after about 3 years. It only happens once every month or so and I would like to know if anyone else has any solutions or tips to help control the problem. I have tried to not be physical with my wife while falling asleep at night and it seems to help but any time I show affection to her early in the night it seems I'm at a greater risk of letting the sexsomnia take control.

Nov 06, 2013
by: Anonymous

I'm a 27 and I'm a sexsomniac. My daughter was conceived while I had an episode. I cant sleep over any male friends houses because I fear I might do something I will later regret. I have noticed that coffee trigers my episodes. I have only had 3 partners and they find it to be amazing however I'm ashamed of it. One thing that I have been told is that I open my eyes and I dont blink, and recently I was told I have talked twice. I wish this condition could be researched more and for people to be more aware of it.

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Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

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The Stanford Sleep Book

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Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

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