The following is a visitor-submitted question or story. For more, you can submit your own sleep story here, or browse the collection of experiences and questions other visitors have shared here.

Sleep Affairs

by Constance Gray
(Jasper, Texas)

My fiance has been talking in his sleep for over a year now. He often talks to other people, work related or current events. I get very concerned when he starts calling out names of other women, especially his ex-girlfriend. He speaks plainly at times but its almost as if he is consciously unconscious. If that makes any sense.

I'm a very light sleeper and the least little noise wake me up. So when he starts talking, I listen. And since most of his sleep talking involves current events, I am worried that he is cheating on me. But as soon as I say something he stops. And sometimes he jumps up as if he's lost or to see where he is. Am I reading too much into this? He is a compulsive liar so I don't believe anythings he says about who he is talking to. He will never admit to talking to this female, but other things he remembers.




Comments for
Sleep Affairs

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 04, 2011
 trust
by: Anonymous

Hi:
Unless you have issues with trust with other people, I think its best to trust your intuition, your gut or whatever you call it.
Take care
Nov 14, 2011
 Fiance? NEW
by: Anonymous

He's a compulsive liar? I'd reconsider getting married - the #1 foundation in a marriage is trust and if he's a compulsive liar and you find it difficult trusting anything he says, how will that play out in "Happily Ever After". Seriously!
Feb 27, 2012
 Trust "it's easier said then done" NEW
by: Kerri

Not sure when you posted this but just thought I'd comment since I've had trust issues in my marriage and have been through a lot in my 10 year marriage and I'm only now 33 but I'm happy to say things are a lot better now, even though I thought we would never make it this far. I also had a hard time trusting my husband and I would snoop and question everything he did I now know it had a lot to do with having very low self esteem. He would talk in his sleep always about work never mentioned an ex but a couple of times I lied and said he did now I think back & go omg what was I thinking now he's probably thinking about her. Then there was a night I started talking in my sleep and he listened and quess what I said my ex's name that I hadn't thought about in years I remember feeling really bad I think it has nothing to do with cheating, but if you start accusing & there is nothing you might start pushing him away then he might wanna just do it cause he is being accused. Trust me cause I did just that I snooped and accused & never found a thing but drove myself insane just knowing it had to be. Then my nightmare came true and he started flirting online after 3 years of being accused thank God it never turned physical and thats only because we started counseling & that was when I realized I had put him and myself through HELL. Now I have gained my self esteem back and I now know how to communicate my fears and worries in a different way thanks to therapy. I hope this helps or maybe you don't need the advice anymore (hope that's the case). I would have done so many things different then if someone would have given me better advice then follow your gut cause my gut almost ruined US!!
Feb 27, 2012
 Adding to my last very long comment!! NEW
by: Kerri

Sorry I forgot to mention the compulsive lying thing I swore he was a compulsive liar too, but in therapy I found out he was always afraid of my response because I would flip out so he would say what he thought I wanted to hear even if it had nothing to do with a girl or cheating crazy right but that was his way of thinking it is so different from ours I still don't understand that but again therapy really helped us communicate that whole lying thing sometimes I think they go into defense mode once we start with the questions and accusations that they will say anything to shut us up even if it's a lie about something stupid. Again I really hope all is well and my comments help.
Mar 31, 2012
 You can't be serious?!? NEW
by: Anonymous

You think because he's mentioning names and sometimes you can/sometime's can't make sense of what he says,this is evidence? Wow! Not sure who should break off the engagement first! You, because he's a compulsive liar...then why would you believe he even loves you when he says he does? Or him, because you are bat**** crazy!

I talk in my sleep and my son does also. It sometimes runs in families and is rare in adults. I guess I'm guilty too then, 'cause guess what? Me and Johnny Depp, Jason Statham, and Daniel Craig are gettin' it on practically every night! Sometimes I dream I'm Batman so I guess that makes me a superhero too.

It isn't the sleep talker that has the problem here, it's you. If all you have is this for evidence, give it up. You either trust someone or you don't. It looks to me like you are doing everything you can to see what you want to see. And in that case, this guy will never be able to prove his innocence. We are exposed to temptation every single day. You can "read" anything into any behaviour if you try hard enough.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Sleep Talking Stories and Thoughts






Enjoy this page? Please help us pay it forward to others who would find it valuable by Liking, Sharing, Tweeting, Stumbling, and/or Voting below.

Like This Page? Share It!

Site Sponsors

Our sponsorship policy

RespShop.com
Lowest CPAP Prices. World Wide shipping. 866-939-3754.

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3). It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

More Questions:

Ask | Answer

Sleep Resources

Ready to take your sleep game to the next level?

Track Your Own Sleep With Zeo Zeo - Personal Sleep Coach
Pro-grade personal sleep data
Essentials of Sleep Knowledge: A Free Book By William Dement Dr. Dement's Essentials
Free for joining our newsletter
Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book SP: A Dreamer's Guide
A breakthrough new e-book

Who We Are

Stanford Sleep & Dreams

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

Hover your mouse over this area for more about this site and its mission.

Or, you can learn more about the team behind EYSD here.

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.